[M] I am the righteous hand of god

It was an eluding idea. Cause a scene, leave together, not looking back. Especially that last part. What he wouldn't give to just leave everything behind, not look back and live his life somewhere else with her at his side. But with both their families, that just wasn't an option. They had to keep that in mind, or lose everything that they worked for. He smiled only about the idea, before drinking from his tankard. But he couldn't ignore the fact that the idea sounded.. great.
A small chuckle was heard when she told him that he would have his other senses to use on her. The urge to make a comment on that was  great, but he decided against it. Didn't want to ruin the mood, nor let others hear it. When she explained who the family member was, Therion tilted his head a bit, thinking if the name rang any kind of bell. "No clue." He spoke honestly, it had to be of a part of his family that they didn't spoke with or something. The Rizal family was spread far and wide and it wasn't like they had family gatherings every few weeks. "But I believe she'll be lucky with him, if he's anything like you." Two could play the game, even though he died a little on the inside saying it back. This was too cheesy, even for him.
Once they spoke about their adventures without each other, Therion could think about a reason why they had missed each other. But how did you explain to someone that you laid all day on bed getting high because you didn't want to see or talk to anyone. So, he just listened, smiled softly, looking down at his drink while taking the occasional chug. "Only a few days?" He sounded surprised. So, his magic found it funny to immediately give her back to him, even while she was only a few days within the city dome. Fucker.
He just let het speak, but was secretly happy with the food arriving. The conversation was airy and pleasant while they were eating. Still, Therion had a hard time not thinking about the kiss they had just shared. The feeling between them, it was addictive. Almost as much as the opioids that he was so used to by now. It was a new kind of addictive and he was all here for it. They laughed, had fun and enjoyed the surprisingly good food while having the time of their lives. They shared some bites, while teaching each other some more. Two more tankards of beer went with his food and when he noticed that Anui couldn't just finish her plate, he humbly asked to finish it for her. Therion hadn't even noticed that something got stuck, not before she told him that he got something. Before he could do anything, she was already cleaning some food from his beard. This was the reason why he kept it short, but also reminded himself that he had to trim it again soon.
When he was finally finished, he leaned back on the chair and sighed softly. "I'm stuffed, but that was good." It had been a while since he had this much for dinner, but it did his body good. Now he could go for another few days with little to nothing to eat. Living on smoke alone, so to say. He, however, also started to feel the ungodly amounts of beer that he had downed and his company had started moving from side to side. It also made his giggle a bit. "Come.." a hic interrupted his sentence, which made him giggle more. "Come on, I'll pay." It may not have been the smartest idea to get up to pay, but he did it anyway. After failing to get up once and having to wait for a moment once he actually stood, he made his way to the bar and paid for dinner, the drinks and a good tip. Maybe some hush money, but Anui didn't need to know about that. After that he straightened his back and shook his head. This made him a bit clearer, at least to get to the door in a straight line. He had some other plans for tonight, as the moon was only just high in the sky. They had enough time, but he needed some thing before that. "One moment." He spoke softly, before turning the corner around the inn. On the corner was a rain barrel, filled to the bring with water. Holding his breath, he dipped his head in it. He swiped his wet hair backwards and got the water out of his eyes, before walking back to Anui. "Best way to sober up." He said with a soft chuckle. He let her grab his arm, before leading her towards a small park. "I found this spot a few years back. It's always quite, but with the full moon it bathes in moonlight." The full moon's light did indeed let the whole park bath in it's cold light, making it look like they were in some kind of fantasy world. "Care for a dance?" He asked her softly, keeping her close to his body.

It felt good to have such an amount of alcohol in his system. It had been a good couple of years since he had this much fun, so he didn’t really care nor wanted to think about tomorrow. The headache will be ghastly, but it shall all be worth it. Even his dunk in the water would only clear his head that much. It made him at least speak full sentences, so that was a good start. His vision was still trying to get him off the straight path and at moments he felt his stomach churn. Luckily, looking at his side made this all worth it. With her head on his shoulder, which made him sink to his right side a bit more than he wanted, they walked through the late night streets of the former capital.
In his days in the opium dens he had heard some crazy people talk about being able to feel the moonlight, the soft light of the moon on one’s bare skins. He used to be afraid that it were the Lycans talking, but right now he had to agree with them. It felt nice, the soft breeze, the moonlight, the warmth of Anui upon his shoulder. It was almost shameful how short off a walk this was, before they entered the small park. When he had offered to dance with her, his heart fluttered when she accepted and he grabbed her hand in his. Placing his other hand on her waist, before smiling softly when she started to hum a little melody. Listening to the tune, he led the dance. Starting slow, for his own stomachs sake, he moved her across the park.
Hours moved on, or so he thought, while the couple waltzed through the park. His body moving on an auto pilot, while he held her close to himself. Even in this state of euphoria, a little devious plan had come to mind and, hopefully without her noticing, he had moved her towards the side of the park. In one last twirl, he grabbed her at her waist and planned her in the water of the fountain before jumping in it after her and grinning from ear to ear. All of his worries gone, just having fun. They could go to his house afterwards anyway, so why not.

It was a gamble, a hundred percent a gamble. She might not have liked it, kicked him in the groin and leave him alone in the water. But she didn’t, of course she didn’t. She did, however, let out a yelp when she fell in the cold water, followed by his name in yell volume. Therion couldn’t help but burst into laughing, the pure panic in her eyes was glorious. He used to do this with his brother, but the waters in Raveryn were way colder than here. It wouldn’t but the first time that they came home with the sniffles from the cold. Their mother could laugh with it, their dad not really. And after the last time, when he actually got really sick, they stopped playing in the waters. Now, however, Therion felt like a little kid again. Watching how her water soaked dress almost prevented her from getting up. He did a few steps back, afraid of what was to come next. He had a hunch, a very valid one. The look in her eyes did not work with the devilish smile on her face. But the older man wasn’t afraid, he saw the fun in this all. Otherwise he wouldn’t have planted her in the fountain to begin with. ”It’s just a dress,” he said while raising his arms to protect himself from the water that got splashed in his face. But the moment he lowered his arms, he felt a very heavy wait agains his chest. Air got knocked out of his lungs when Anui jumped against him. She wasn’t that heavy, but the water soaked dress did the trick. And even though Therion was well build, he couldn’t handle this with both the alcohol in his system and his own soaked clothes. He slipped, wrapped his arms around her body as a reaction and both went under. Not being able to breath, with the wind knocked out of him, Therion had to let Anui go the moment he felt himself submerge in the water. Scrambling to get up, he broke the water surface and gasped for air, before laughing. ”You got heavy with that dress,” he said, while getting the water out of his eyes. He placed a finger under he chin and stole a quick kiss, before trying to get up. ”Looks like the fun is over,” his voice dripping with disappointment. He nodded towards a light that was getting closer. Might be a guard trying to figure out what all the noise was. Not a risk he was willing to take. So, he jumped out of the fountain and helped her out as well. ”Let’s get you warm.” He took her hand in his, squishing it softly, before starting to make way to his house. They could use a fire right now.

He hated it, how one person could ruin an evening like this. He wanted to stay in that fountain, in the water, playing with the woman who he had missed with all his being. Yet, he couldn't gamble on who the person was and ruin both hers and his reputation. They had to think about the family, after all. Still, if he could, he would keep her here, playing like the kids they once were. He may be twice her age, but there was a time when they both were kids. With no worries for the future. And sometimes he wished he could return to that time.
He had closed his eyes for a moment, while they walked together. Their hands intertwined, a feeling so natural he never wanted it to end. The thought of dragging out this walk slipped in his mind, but a cold breeze made him shiver and he could only imagine how cold Anui felt in that soaked dress. He wasn't even worried about the trail that they were leaving. It would dry up anyway. If it was a guard who came and check, they might think it were kids playing. "You didn't." His voice reassuring when she asked him if she had hurt him. He clicked his tongue, preventing himself from speaking more cheesy stuff. Not going to let that happen, not now.
He rummages his pockets, trying to find the key. That worked out, opening the door needed a bit more skill. It wasn't the first time he tried and failed to open this door, both while being drunk or high, sometimes both. He cursed under his breath before opening the door and letting Anui inside. Even though the jump in the fountain had sobered him up quite a bit, there still was this lingering feeling of euphoria, just like when he had found her on the market. It was a good feeling to have around her. And something he wished would never fade. While he walked inside, he sneaked past her and threw a few logs in a small fireplace. This was one of the few conditions that Therion had when he was looking for a place. He needed a fireplace, it kept him calm and reminded him of home. Me made quick work of starting a fire on the logs and waited for it to burn warm. "You can borrow a shirt, if you want. Wearing that dress will only make you sick." From a pile he grabbed a shirt of his an gave it to her, before walking up behind her. "Let me help." He placed her still wet hair over her shoulder, before starting to untangle the laces on her back. It was only a few hours past when he was doing the same, but it felt like a life time. It felt natural, as if it was meant to be.

Why did moments like this feel like they had never parted. About a year had been between their last meeting and this one and it just felt like nothing at all had changed. But in reality, a lot had changed. She had changed most of all. All the things that had happened, that he had missed somehow, it had left a mark on her. Maybe not visible by the naked eye, but he knew they were there. It was also the reason why he was hesitant with his doings. He wanted, oh he wanted it so badly, but he would respect her and her wishes. And thus, while she was making tea and he was looking for some dry clothes for both of them, he shivered a bit from the cold of the water that was trying to soak his body. While the fire was slowly warming up the place, and the tea would most definitely help once they had changed, he stood behind Anui and helped her out of her dress. It was easier now, while being able to look at what he was doing, but he still couldn't fully concentrate on it. That, and the water made it difficult to find the correct strings. Once he had detangled everything, the dress fell with a wet thump on the ground. He felt how she took a breath, as if this was the first time she could actually breath in. He had respect for the ladies who had to wear a corset all day, his ribs would be bruised and broken after a day. So the fact that some ladies walked around in for days at an end baffled him. He knew that some men also wore them, but it was never for him. He had the slender figure that it wasn't necessary, thank the gods. He traced her neck with his finger, enjoying the feeling of her soft skin under his touch. Slowly going down over her shoulder, shoulder blade, down towards her hip. Behind him laid the shirt that he had picked out for her, but he actually just wanted to admire her beauty like this. "You're beautiful," he spoke softly in her ear, before pressing his lips in her neck. Was it the alcohol speaking? Or just the fact that he had to miss this for the past year. Both were valid options, but all he wanted right now was her. He wanted all of her, devour her, make her his again. But he also wanted to respect her wishes, so if she would give any indication that she didn't want to. He would stop. Yes, he would stop.

How invited as it was, he still had to hold himself back. He couldn't give his desires go full range, not just yet. He could feel her shiver under his touch, making it even more unbearable for him. There were a spark had started this evening, a full blown fire was burning his chest. Glowing from within, trying to spread towards the rest of his body. As if he drew with fire on her skin, painting his love around her shoulder, down to her hip. A little gasp was heard when he spoke to her, which made him smile. He loved the effect that he had on her, same as she had on him. He wanted to be careful, slowing lowering her walls, making her trust him again. The alcohol was helping a great deal with this, not he knew that eventually he had to do it on his own. He couldn't make her drunk every time, as it would only have the opposite effect of what he wanted to accomplice. Her words rang in his ears and the moment she turned around and found his lips with hers, Therion couldn't do anything but surrender the last bit of control he had about this situation.
One of her hands found its way into his hair, while she guided his hand towards her torso. He deepened her tender kiss, hungry for more, while he felt how she was unbuttoning his shirt. With little to no patient left, he threw the shirt over his head. It landed on the ground, next to the one he had fetched for Anui to wear. There wouldn't be any time soon that they would need that anyway. Kissing her again, he hungry licked her lips, waiting for permission, wanting for permission. He wanted all of it, all of her. He had been waiting too long for another shot at this. And now with a little extra push of the alcohol in his system, he finally took that shot. His arms wrapped around her body, playing on her back, with one hand within her hair. Only breaking away for a quick gasp of air. "I've missed you, all of you." He told her with a husky voice, and by the gods, he had wanted her.

The passion, the chemistry between the two was like they never left. Like the past year just didn't happen. Like nothing had even changed between them. He had waited for her, waited until she gave him permission to do what he wanted. He didn't want to hurt her all over again. But his body was hunkering for this high, this euphoria. It had almost completely taken over both his mind and his body, making it move without him thinking about it. He tasted her lips, wanting more and the moment he was given the permission he didn't let an inch unexplored. The moment his shirt came off, she was all over him. Feeling the electricity build up between them, made him crave the skin to skin contact even more. Pressing her body to his, he felt how their heart beat in unison. And with a heightened state of mind he explored the rest of her body. Hands playing around her body, tender, wanting, craving, while he moved on from her lips to her neck, tenderly sucking on her porcelain skin.
Her words made his head spin. This was a new high, not even a new sensation, but just something that he had missed for the last year. Her lips on his neck made him whimper a soft moan, before moving his hands around her backside. But it was the moment when her hands explored down that it was his time for a gasp. By the gods he had missed this. With one smooth motion had he picked her up from the ground, from within her dress and gently laid her down on the bed. Hovering above her, he pressed a kiss on her collarbone before slowly moving downwards, around her chest, over her belly, further down. All with a playful twinkle in his eye.

Ik denk niet dat ik dit kan doen zonder te explicit te worden, so sorry kids <3

With one hand he wiped a string of her hair out of her face, while looking at her while she laid next to him. Above them, the sun started to raise, with her first rays and warmth trying to enter his window. The fire was smouldering in the fire place, with the tea completely forgotten. A tiredness had fallen over him, yet sleep eluded him. A very stern headache, however, did find his way behind his eyes, but it was all worth it in the end. All was good, for now at least.  

He could say that all was well, yet something was bugging his mind. Last night, it felt like a dream, a godsent dream. And waking up here next to her, it made it even better. His head hurt, that was a given after the amount of alcohol that was probably still somewhere in his system. A smile could be found on his face, yet it was there with a frown as well. He stroked her face, getting rid of a stray strand of hair on her cheek. It had woken her up and the frown disappeared. A warmth spread through his body when she snuggled up against him and he kissed her nose when she rubbed hers against his. "There is no reason for us to get up" He spoke softly, kissing her forehead. He knew that was a lie, there were multiple reasons why they had to get up. And one of them was the fact that his whole body had started to react to the fact that his last hit had been yesterday. His had trouble keeping his hand steady, while he softly let his fingers stroke over her body. But it was mostly his heartrate that had gone up that gave it away. He felt a uneasy kind of panic starting to build up.
Slowly he sat up, grabbing a pair of pants from the ground and pulling it up. "Shall we retry that tea?" He said with a soft smile. It wasn't that he didn't want to lay in bed with her all day, but he needed a moment for himself. There was something bothering him. And thus he grabbed the cups from the ground and started making his way towards the small kitchen.
Last night, it felt like a dream, a dream like stupor. He had recognized that feeling, although it was different, clearer than normally. He got these kinds of visions mostly when he was using the stronger opioids. So the fact that these kind of nights could also trigger them was a new kind of feeling for him. But it wasn't the feeling of the vision that brought him of his apropos. It was what he had seen that bothered him. Anui was prominent in his vision, something that was obvious thinking about what was going on. But it was the sight of another man that had thrown him off. A younger man, good looking, high position. With a dark shadow around his shoulders. The fact that it had filled him with a weird kind of jealousy didn't make it better. Especially because he didn't know the man, nor did he know what his relationship was towards Anui. The only thing he knew, was that it wasn't family.
A sharp pain in his hand brough him back to reality. Apparently, while he was thinking back to the vision, he had crushed the cup that he was holding and splinters stuck in his right hand. "Fuck." He mumbled, while placing the shards on the table and started picking out the other splinters. Good start of the day, fuck.

The vision bothered him, it filled him with a rage that he hadn't felt in a long time. Most of the time, Therion was pretty good at keeping his emotions at bay, especially after the whole fiasco with his brother and nephew. But now there was a fire burning in him and the sight of this other man, made it almost go out of control. After a year, he had finally something to fight for again and it made his whole body react to it. On it's own, apparently, as he had crushed the cup that he was holding. Thank the gods, he hadn't poured the tea yet, otherwise he would be stuck with burn wounds as well. Ani stood next to him in a heartbeat and grabbed a chair for him to sit on. She called him love and it made his heart flutter for a moment, but his mind was occupied this moment. Not only was the trembling in his hand even worse, he had to get a grip of his emotions, before things went wrong. Therion sat down, placing his elbow on his knee, so that he could let Ani take a look at it. Quickly, she had boiled a some water and started with cleaning out the cuts that the cup had made. The man hissed slightly when the warm water touched his thorn up hand and he pulled back for a moment. "Oh, sorry." He said, but his mind was far in the distant. He didn't want her looking at him right now. He wasn't his normal self. He needed his drugs, he needed to calm down. Yet, as long as she was here, that wasn't an option. And he couldn't just ask her to leave. His hand was trembling even more now that he had realized how long his last hit had been. "It's alright, no need for the bandages." His voice was colder, less loving, more erratic. With the smallest hint of upcoming doom in it. His heart was stilling beating in his chest and he felt how he was losing his sense of self with every passing moment. "How about I walk you home." Please, don't be mad at me for this. I can't let you see me like this.

Fuck. That's it, that was his only thought. And this was why he actually needed some stuff at home, even if he had a chance to get kicked out of this house. But it would have made his morning so much easier for him. She was so kind to him, tried to help him wherever she could. But with this, she just couldn't help him. It was something he had to do on his own. The vision was getting pushed to the back of his mind, while the need for his drugs became his main priority. Maybe, maybe he could prolong it. Just long enough for her to get home and get his hit. But getting her out of his house was already a task and a half. Therion looked up, met her gaze, when she spoke about his shaking hands. He bit his lip, wanting to tell the truth, but couldn't. It would make this only worse, that he knew for certain. Once again she started about the bandages and he wanted to pull his hand back, call her out on it and just leave it like that. But he couldn't. Begrudgingly he let her work on his hand, binding it and cleaning it.
Fuck. He knew this would bite him in the ass. Of course she wouldn't leave, not after last night. He looked at his bandaged hand and stood up, turning his back to her. "Your family will be worried." He told her, his voice stern and cold. "I can't keep you here, Anui. Not unless you notify them that you're with me." It hurt, oh it hurt. But this was the best solution. He searched through one of his cabinets, there should be something that he was saving for a rainy day. Fuck, he really didn't want to do this here, now. But it would be the only way he could keep her safe, from him. Oh, there. A small metal tin, he had taken these with him from Raveryn. Once given to him by his father before he left for his traveling. He opened the tin, held it upside down and found one last cigar. Walking back to the kitchen, he lit it by the fire on which his teapot was standing. Placing it between his lips, he finally felt at peace again. "Fuck." Blowing smoke out of corners of his mouth.

Why, why was she so stubborn. It would have been so much easier if she would just leave and let him to his own business. He couldn’t guarantee her safety as she stayed here and that was the worse. Hurting her was not something he wanted to do, but he started to get afraid of himself. True, the last time that something actually had happened, he was high out of his mind and now he was more clear than he had been in years. And that though was scaring him more than the childmurder he had committed. She spoke to him, softly, mumbling while he was looking for the old cigar that his father had left him with. It broke his heart to hear her like this, but it was for the better. Her next words, however, stung like a dagger. He wanted her to stay, he wanted her at his side forever. But fuck, he had to get things fixed first before he could do that. ”Go, just go.” He told her, cold, but hurt. He watched her getting dress, he wanted to rip the dress right of her shoulder here and there, but the trembling had taken over more of his body and he started to feel sick in combination of the splitting headache. He had to be stern for this one. Still, he wanted to help her, as a last thing or something. He never meant to hurt her again, over again. So, he turned his back to her, let the cigar hang from his lips. ”Go back to your other boyfriend.” The words passed his lips before he really thought about it. But they were said and he couldn’t take them back. Fuck. He fucked up badly this time.

It was for the greater good. He had to get her out of here, maybe he shouldn't even let her back in. It was too dangerous for her to be around him. He was .. unpredictable, as long as he couldn't be honest with both her and himself. It was better to just sent her away now, let her leave without having to look back. Still, he wouldn't admit that last night was a mistake. Because it wasn't. It was the best thing that had happened to him in the past year. And it was himself that was in the way. His past, his actions, his habits. Her words, that single word, it was as if someone pushed a dagger in his heart and twisted it. It hurt, by Raanan, it hurt. But he had to be stern, be strong, let her go. Smoke curled up from the corners of his mouth upwards to his eyes, making the dry and painful. He didn't even look up when she slammed the door shut after her. Suddenly his house felt cold, like a Nightreign day back in Raveryn. He shivered and tiredness overcame him. Followed by anger, anger at himself, anger about this situation. It was his fault, all of this was his fault. In one smooth rage filled motion he swiped the other cup from the table and smashed it against the wall, followed by a heartbroken scream.

He didn't know how long he sat there, on the ground, surrounded by two shattered cups, one still with his blood on it. The cigar had been burned up and an ash pile had formed in front of him, while he sat with his head down. He dipped the but of the cigar in some water, before standing up, grabbing a shirt. He stopped for a moment, this was the shirt he had given to Ani. With a growl he put it over his head, grabbed his money pouch and left his house. Slamming the door, yet again, when he stepped outside.