Posts
IC Posts
Lemuria Citizen
Aurelia Vylasar
- Caro2415
This goes out to all the women getting it in;
you on your grind
you on your grind
For the past couple of weeks the woman had been in both Moonbright and Silvercrest on official business. It had been a busy set of weeks, with in mind the prosperity of Lythrania. That was what came first. Always. Yet in the back of her mind she had been busy with the future of her son as well. It had been plaguing her mind that the young man had ran off when she had mentioned that he needed to get married. By all means, she had granted him the opportunity to pick out a woman himself. But he had ran. Which was something rather weak to do so. It was his duty after all. So the blonde woman had taken matters into her own hands, she had reached out to the Vasilevsky's, a family she had heard a great deal from. They had finally gotten back to her the moment the news came that an attack had occurred on her son. By her adopted son.
Within moments she had boarded the vessel that had brought her to Moonbright together with Catherine. Though the time that passed when going back home was spent in solitude. Going over the letter she had gotten earlier. Which was a very detailed description of what had happened to her son, every wound he had and so on. The journey back home had been plagued by a big storm, nothing she wasn’t used too. But this time around it angered her. She needed to be in Lythrania as soon as possible. Yet even she couldn’t go against the tides, so she had to endure however long it would take her to get home. Yet her anger kept growing steadily. How could they have been so careless? How could they let this happen again? And where in Lythrana’s name was that darned guard she had appointed? There truly was no way in stating that this wasn’t wrong in so many ways.
And boy, there would be hell to pay. Heads were going to roll.
While they were arriving Aurelia changed her attire to a clad black one. Soon enough debarking the vessel, she had made sure that one of the servants was assigned to Catherine to escort her safely to the castle. The blonde herself was greeted by her own senior servant, together going to the castle separately. No one had known that she would be arriving today. Something she had chosen herself. She didn’t want the others to have time to form a tale in their head, a possible way of throwing her off. No.
Like a dark shadow she moved through the castles. Taking hidden routes so that she wouldn’t be seen. Until she stood in the door from the room where Myrddin was in. Without knocking, without announcing she was there she opened the door. Walking in, locking the door behind her and moving to the bed. A cold expression on her face as she glanced over the boy who was in the bed. Crutches next to his bed.
’Myrddin.’
To all the men that respect what I do,
accept my shine.
accept my shine.
Thu Mar 23, 2023 4:35 pm
Posts
IC Posts
Deceased
Myrddin Vylasar
- Jaz228215
❝ But despite it all, I was powerless ❞
For Myrddin, the days had all been such a blur. They bled together as he mostly slept... And when he was awake, he usually spent it on drawing or talking to Shy. Although, recently, he had discovered a new game to play with Finn. Fetch, but then indoors and not as intense as outside. He would throw a ball and the dog would chase after it. Once the thing was caught, he would bring it back and so on. Myr let out soft giggles whenever the animal would do something silly or lose its balance whenever he went too fast for the toy. Oh... What a fun little thing this was. He really was enjoying himself. This was much nicer than having a cat. Every time when the little creature would bounce back to him with that gentle twinkle in its eyes, he smiled brightly. Finn would place its little paws on the side of the bed as he dropped the ball on the sheets, which would continue the game from there on. A perfect cycle that was a bit different each time he threw it. This was a good distraction.
After some rounds, he had noted the dog was panting softly and he was also getting a bit tired. So, after the last throw of the day he looked up at the guard. He smiled at him as he started to sign. 'I think Finn could use a bit of water,' And he did too. He smiled at the other as he started to move, signing a quick; 'Thank you, love you,' to him as he left the room. The dog had already retrieved the ball once more, dropping the toy back on the bad as he looked at the blonde man. He chuckled, placing his hand gently atop of its head. His fingers going over him as he pushed himself in a more comfortable position. Sometimes it wasn't easy to remain in bed all day. It was more exhausting than actually working. His eyes slowly shifted to the crutches he had received from the healers. He hadn't yet tried them out, but they had told him he could start practicing already. With help, of course, since he was still recovering from more than just some broken bones.
He had dozed off a bit, the ball still in one hand as the other had fallen off the edge of the bad. Finn, like the good dog that he was, was laying down next to the bed of his semi owner. His eyes closed, dozing off a bit as well. It was all so peaceful and nice, despite the situation he was in. It was all thanks to his pain medication that he was in such state. Without it, he would surely have a horrid time just being alive...
Or well... Someone else could make it pretty bad aswel.
When he heard the door open, he let out a soft noise. Slowly blinking he turned his head towards the noise. His vision still somewhat blurry from his dreamless sleep. After a few seconds, however, it became clear who it was. As she approached the side of his bed, his expression shifted in an instant. From where he had been confused at first, clearly just woken up from his sleep, he now stared up in fear. His eyes big as the color of his face slowly drained. His breathing heightened as a tight feeling increased in his chest. No... She couldn't be back yet. He wasn't yet healed. No... No. Her cold eyes focused on him, and he averted them in an instant. The demanding posture this woman had over him was terrifying him. And with the state that he was in, he honestly wanted to cry. Yet, he didn't dare to. He knew she wouldn't tolerate such behavior from him. Only the best was good enough for his mother, that was something he had learned from a young age.
When she spoke his name, his body almost moved on its own. His hands moved up as he rapidly started to sign. 'Welcome back home, lady Vylasar,' He rarely actually called her mother. It felt wrong to call her as such. As he let his signs speak for himself, he bowed his head somewhat, but in bed it was almost impossible to do a proper curtesy. 'Excuse me for my improper behavior, my lady,' He signed quickly after, his fingers softly shaking from the tension and pain that was rising within his body. He slowly lifted his gaze, his eyes focusing on the crutches that were within reach. His hands moved towards them as he leaned in, grabbing them. He was shaking, yet he didn't notice. And as he tried to grab onto them, one of them fell to the ground. He looked down at the item, leaning more over the side of his bed as he felt his body slowly respond to this awkward way of moving. His legs didn't like it, they were screaming it out in pain. A whimper left his lips, which caught him off guard. Yet, he didn't dare to look up at her to see her response.
His grip tightened on the one crutch he did have, pushing himself more upwards so as to sit upright. That was even unpleasant and slightly painful, but he refused to listen to his body. He caught his breath somewhat as he bit down on his lip, turning himself to move his broken legs more towards the side. He froze as the pain caught him off guard, which caused him to lose grip on the one crutch he did manage to grab. It fell on the side of the bed, tipping over due to its weight and joining its twin on the ground with a loud thud. Myrddin stared down at himself as heavy breathing became more unstable. No... No... No...
After some rounds, he had noted the dog was panting softly and he was also getting a bit tired. So, after the last throw of the day he looked up at the guard. He smiled at him as he started to sign. 'I think Finn could use a bit of water,' And he did too. He smiled at the other as he started to move, signing a quick; 'Thank you, love you,' to him as he left the room. The dog had already retrieved the ball once more, dropping the toy back on the bad as he looked at the blonde man. He chuckled, placing his hand gently atop of its head. His fingers going over him as he pushed himself in a more comfortable position. Sometimes it wasn't easy to remain in bed all day. It was more exhausting than actually working. His eyes slowly shifted to the crutches he had received from the healers. He hadn't yet tried them out, but they had told him he could start practicing already. With help, of course, since he was still recovering from more than just some broken bones.
He had dozed off a bit, the ball still in one hand as the other had fallen off the edge of the bad. Finn, like the good dog that he was, was laying down next to the bed of his semi owner. His eyes closed, dozing off a bit as well. It was all so peaceful and nice, despite the situation he was in. It was all thanks to his pain medication that he was in such state. Without it, he would surely have a horrid time just being alive...
Or well... Someone else could make it pretty bad aswel.
When he heard the door open, he let out a soft noise. Slowly blinking he turned his head towards the noise. His vision still somewhat blurry from his dreamless sleep. After a few seconds, however, it became clear who it was. As she approached the side of his bed, his expression shifted in an instant. From where he had been confused at first, clearly just woken up from his sleep, he now stared up in fear. His eyes big as the color of his face slowly drained. His breathing heightened as a tight feeling increased in his chest. No... She couldn't be back yet. He wasn't yet healed. No... No. Her cold eyes focused on him, and he averted them in an instant. The demanding posture this woman had over him was terrifying him. And with the state that he was in, he honestly wanted to cry. Yet, he didn't dare to. He knew she wouldn't tolerate such behavior from him. Only the best was good enough for his mother, that was something he had learned from a young age.
When she spoke his name, his body almost moved on its own. His hands moved up as he rapidly started to sign. 'Welcome back home, lady Vylasar,' He rarely actually called her mother. It felt wrong to call her as such. As he let his signs speak for himself, he bowed his head somewhat, but in bed it was almost impossible to do a proper curtesy. 'Excuse me for my improper behavior, my lady,' He signed quickly after, his fingers softly shaking from the tension and pain that was rising within his body. He slowly lifted his gaze, his eyes focusing on the crutches that were within reach. His hands moved towards them as he leaned in, grabbing them. He was shaking, yet he didn't notice. And as he tried to grab onto them, one of them fell to the ground. He looked down at the item, leaning more over the side of his bed as he felt his body slowly respond to this awkward way of moving. His legs didn't like it, they were screaming it out in pain. A whimper left his lips, which caught him off guard. Yet, he didn't dare to look up at her to see her response.
His grip tightened on the one crutch he did have, pushing himself more upwards so as to sit upright. That was even unpleasant and slightly painful, but he refused to listen to his body. He caught his breath somewhat as he bit down on his lip, turning himself to move his broken legs more towards the side. He froze as the pain caught him off guard, which caused him to lose grip on the one crutch he did manage to grab. It fell on the side of the bed, tipping over due to its weight and joining its twin on the ground with a loud thud. Myrddin stared down at himself as heavy breathing became more unstable. No... No... No...
Thu Mar 23, 2023 5:11 pm
Posts
IC Posts
Lemuria Citizen
Aurelia Vylasar
- Caro2415
This goes out to all the women getting it in;
you on your grind
you on your grind
In this very instant she wasn’t quite sure if she was angry or simply disappointed in the whole situation. What she did know was that she wanted an honest explanation from both of them and then she’d form an opinion and think of a fitting punishment. After all this was something she couldn’t simply let slide. Too much had happened and it had resulted in her son being almost death. Now for the second time in his life. The first time it had been his own fault, he had pushed too and it had bit him in the ass. Yet this time. This time was worse. It had been caused by a boy she had taken in. A boy she considered as one of her own though being perfectly aware that he wasn’t. How dare he? And how dare the guard she had appointed to Myr not be present? Oh yes, she had heard that the Efrain boy wasn’t even present when everything occurred.
Her son had been sleeping, waking up to her. And it showed in his eyes. The fear he held for her was clear. For a moment she raised a brow. What did he think? That she was going to off him in this very instant? Dumb boy. She saw his chest move up and down quite rapidly, he was panicking once more. How weak really. At times the woman couldn’t believe this was her son. But he resembled his father in every single way. Apart from the abusive nature. No, that had made room for a scared little boy that was literally afraid of anything. The woman was rather confused to why he was panicking. She didn’t see any reason to do so. Since she was just a mother checking up on her child after all, wasn’t she? Yet the boy was set on pushing himself even more. She had to give it to him, there was some strength in him. But it wasn’t enough. And again, there was no need to put on a show here.
The idiot started moving. Off course. Which made her sigh in disapproval. She stayed quiet, just watching him. His weak, frail body that was trying to support itself. It appeared so that there had been a significant loss of muscle. When one of the crutches fell she raised a brow once more, rather unimpressed. While he did manage to get himself to sit up more she hummed, looking at him. When he lost the other crutch, she easily caught it before it tumbled to the ground. ’Are you done acting so stupid?’ Her voice sounded so calm. Which would make any human uncomfortable. Her eyes briefly caught sight of the dog on the other side of the bed. ’Got yourself a pet I see?’ Nodding at the animal.
’Let me guess, you’re going to try and convince me that this was all your own fault? To keep Ezekiel out of trouble?’ She hummed. While it might not look like it, she did know her son. The way he always wanted to please everyone around him, it drove her crazy. It was weak. He’d never learn how to stand up for himself. ’It’s not going to work. So don’t even bother. What has happened is unforgivable. I don’t care about how it happened, but the two of you should’ve been smarter. Ezekiel shouldn’t have done this, and this will make all of us weaker in the eyes of other. If we are fighting in house, then we shall be seen as weak. And I will not allow that.’
To all the men that respect what I do,
accept my shine.
accept my shine.
Fri Mar 24, 2023 2:01 pm
Posts
IC Posts
Deceased
Myrddin Vylasar
- Jaz228215
❝ But despite it all, I was powerless ❞
Every decision that had been made for him ever since he was born, had been made for the better of the name. Every little adjustment, every new class he had to take. It was all to shape him into a fine young man that would one day be capable to be head of the family, despite his short comings. Everything they had ever done had been for a reason, every punishment carefully selected to breed out the undesired, the rebellious and troubled nature that couldn't been seen by the outside world. And that was only when it was expected of him to one day step in the footprints of his ancestors, like his mother, his grandfather and the many people that had come before him. By the Gods, he could still remember how extreme his grandpa could be. As a child he had been terrified by the man. Ironic how he would hide behind his mother as a toddler whenever they would go to visit him. Now that thought didn't cross his mind to seek shelter with her. Now he wished that he was still here. The way he had always been with him had been different with the others. And only recently had he realized that he had been grandfather's favourite. He hated it.
So... Myrddin knew all too well what people expected of him and what his duty was. He knew a lot for his age, perhaps even too much for his own good. And it showed. He had knowledge, but wasn't wise or smart. He didn't handle that kind of stuff well. He was young, inexperienced and very emotional. Those were all factors that didn't mix well with what people wanted from him, or what he needed to be. He had to grow up, the faster the better. And he had to become experienced, so that he could grow into the role that he was destined to uphold. It's why he was always so busy, always trying to become the best possible version of himself at any point in time. He had finally thought to head that way when he had returned. Really, he did. He had done things in Moonbright that he was proud of. He had held his own against people he normally wouldn't. And he had tried to confront Ezekiel, something that he had been keeping off for years now. Yet, that last one had been a mistake. It had been out of genuine concern that he had approached the other, it had been out of the good of his heart. But now, with all the results of that confrontation on the table... There was no denying it anymore. He had gone about it in the wrong way. Which had made his brother explode in pure rage, finally having enough of him. The memories of that seeping back into his mind, he carefully closed his eyes, trying to keep himself from having another panic attack over it. He could still feel the fear he had felt in that very moment. Where he had been so small, so powerless, so... useless. And to think he could have prevented it all... He was such an idiot.
Frozen in pain, his mind seemed to race past so many things that he couldn't really pinpoint one exact thing. It was overwhelming... And if it wasn't for the nauseating pain, he would surely have shut down completely. Yet this horrid hellish feeling that was being dragged across his skin and bones kept him anchored in this moment. He clenched his jaw, trying to fight back as much as he could. He didn't want to give in, he didn't want to seem weak. He was done being so darn weak. He was so... so... So done of being labelled as that fragile boy. He was a man who deserved respect as well. He wasn't some child anymore. And in that moment, despite the fear and the pain, something sparked inside of him. His hands clenched onto the blanket that covered his legs, his fingernails digging deeper and deeper into the fabric until he noticed the pressure in the palm of his hand. He let out a shaken sigh, lifting his eyes carefully, but not yet meeting hers.
Aurelia had decided to taunt him first. Calling him stupid, because of course she would. There was no trace of pity or even concern for her kin that had nearly died a couple of days ago. It was so fucked up to think about it. Because she didn't care if he lived or died. Hell, she most likely didn't even care that he had survived. Even if he had passed she would just start over with the next boy in line. There were plenty to choose from and once her own blood had been wiped of the surface of this earth, it would most likely be easier to pick a more suitable candidate then the mistake she had birthed. Had there ever been a time where she had looked at him with loving eyes? He doubted it. The reason always remaining vague, but the fact that he would often be compared to his father might have something to do with it. Not that he would know. He had never known the man, nor had he anything to build some memories on. But sometimes he liked to imagine that it was a gentle, caring man that would sit with him whenever he was crying again. As a kid, when he was being bullied, or as a teenager when he felt like he wasn't good enough. Someone that actually cared for him. It was the kind of picture he had made of this unknown father. Little did he know...
His mother went on. She didn't give him time to even explain the situation. Already guessing what he had wanted to do from the start. He squinted his eyes ever so slightly as he averted his eyes to the ground. For some reason it felt like he had been caught in a lie, even though he knew all too well that it wasn't. In what wat would it be a lie if that was exactly what happened? No-one knew the incident better than he and Ezekiel did. In that moment, it had just been the two of them. No bystanders to weave together a story. SO it was all assumptions anyway. But apparently, it was easier to say that the offender was the bad guy here. The victim that was now stuck in bed for weeks to come, couldn't possibly be the cause of it all. He hated that mindset so much. Because he knew how he had done wrong, how much damage he had done... And there was nothing he could do to fix it all up. Now his brother had to face a punishment that he didn't deserve. It wasn't fair.
She didn't care how it happened. They should have been smarted. He nodded slowly on those words, feeling himself tense up as he noticed that his body still moved as if it was well oiled machine. Responding perfectly whenever something was put in, as he was supposed to do. It was ingrained in him, he couldn't help it. Weaker... He nodded once more when she stated that she wouldn't allow it. Myrddin didn't dare to look her in the eyes as he kept his head bowed down towards her. Where he had previously thought he could do something against her, he now crumbled in a matter of seconds. His entire reason of wanting to stand up for his believes and his own morals. For his brother and the peace that it would potentially bring within the family. Yet, he couldn't. He was truly frozen in fear, his body slightly shaking... But he wasn't too sure if it was just his emotions, or the pain that was still jolting through him. How he wished he could run... Run away from this all.
After a couple of seconds he lifted his head, looking at her... His eyes crossing hers, he couldn't even hold her gaze for long enough as he averted it back down in an instant. 'I understand,' he signed. 'I accept any punishment you have for me, my lady,'
So... Myrddin knew all too well what people expected of him and what his duty was. He knew a lot for his age, perhaps even too much for his own good. And it showed. He had knowledge, but wasn't wise or smart. He didn't handle that kind of stuff well. He was young, inexperienced and very emotional. Those were all factors that didn't mix well with what people wanted from him, or what he needed to be. He had to grow up, the faster the better. And he had to become experienced, so that he could grow into the role that he was destined to uphold. It's why he was always so busy, always trying to become the best possible version of himself at any point in time. He had finally thought to head that way when he had returned. Really, he did. He had done things in Moonbright that he was proud of. He had held his own against people he normally wouldn't. And he had tried to confront Ezekiel, something that he had been keeping off for years now. Yet, that last one had been a mistake. It had been out of genuine concern that he had approached the other, it had been out of the good of his heart. But now, with all the results of that confrontation on the table... There was no denying it anymore. He had gone about it in the wrong way. Which had made his brother explode in pure rage, finally having enough of him. The memories of that seeping back into his mind, he carefully closed his eyes, trying to keep himself from having another panic attack over it. He could still feel the fear he had felt in that very moment. Where he had been so small, so powerless, so... useless. And to think he could have prevented it all... He was such an idiot.
Frozen in pain, his mind seemed to race past so many things that he couldn't really pinpoint one exact thing. It was overwhelming... And if it wasn't for the nauseating pain, he would surely have shut down completely. Yet this horrid hellish feeling that was being dragged across his skin and bones kept him anchored in this moment. He clenched his jaw, trying to fight back as much as he could. He didn't want to give in, he didn't want to seem weak. He was done being so darn weak. He was so... so... So done of being labelled as that fragile boy. He was a man who deserved respect as well. He wasn't some child anymore. And in that moment, despite the fear and the pain, something sparked inside of him. His hands clenched onto the blanket that covered his legs, his fingernails digging deeper and deeper into the fabric until he noticed the pressure in the palm of his hand. He let out a shaken sigh, lifting his eyes carefully, but not yet meeting hers.
Aurelia had decided to taunt him first. Calling him stupid, because of course she would. There was no trace of pity or even concern for her kin that had nearly died a couple of days ago. It was so fucked up to think about it. Because she didn't care if he lived or died. Hell, she most likely didn't even care that he had survived. Even if he had passed she would just start over with the next boy in line. There were plenty to choose from and once her own blood had been wiped of the surface of this earth, it would most likely be easier to pick a more suitable candidate then the mistake she had birthed. Had there ever been a time where she had looked at him with loving eyes? He doubted it. The reason always remaining vague, but the fact that he would often be compared to his father might have something to do with it. Not that he would know. He had never known the man, nor had he anything to build some memories on. But sometimes he liked to imagine that it was a gentle, caring man that would sit with him whenever he was crying again. As a kid, when he was being bullied, or as a teenager when he felt like he wasn't good enough. Someone that actually cared for him. It was the kind of picture he had made of this unknown father. Little did he know...
His mother went on. She didn't give him time to even explain the situation. Already guessing what he had wanted to do from the start. He squinted his eyes ever so slightly as he averted his eyes to the ground. For some reason it felt like he had been caught in a lie, even though he knew all too well that it wasn't. In what wat would it be a lie if that was exactly what happened? No-one knew the incident better than he and Ezekiel did. In that moment, it had just been the two of them. No bystanders to weave together a story. SO it was all assumptions anyway. But apparently, it was easier to say that the offender was the bad guy here. The victim that was now stuck in bed for weeks to come, couldn't possibly be the cause of it all. He hated that mindset so much. Because he knew how he had done wrong, how much damage he had done... And there was nothing he could do to fix it all up. Now his brother had to face a punishment that he didn't deserve. It wasn't fair.
She didn't care how it happened. They should have been smarted. He nodded slowly on those words, feeling himself tense up as he noticed that his body still moved as if it was well oiled machine. Responding perfectly whenever something was put in, as he was supposed to do. It was ingrained in him, he couldn't help it. Weaker... He nodded once more when she stated that she wouldn't allow it. Myrddin didn't dare to look her in the eyes as he kept his head bowed down towards her. Where he had previously thought he could do something against her, he now crumbled in a matter of seconds. His entire reason of wanting to stand up for his believes and his own morals. For his brother and the peace that it would potentially bring within the family. Yet, he couldn't. He was truly frozen in fear, his body slightly shaking... But he wasn't too sure if it was just his emotions, or the pain that was still jolting through him. How he wished he could run... Run away from this all.
After a couple of seconds he lifted his head, looking at her... His eyes crossing hers, he couldn't even hold her gaze for long enough as he averted it back down in an instant. 'I understand,' he signed. 'I accept any punishment you have for me, my lady,'
Fri Mar 24, 2023 4:21 pm
Posts
IC Posts
Lemuria Citizen
Aurelia Vylasar
- Caro2415
This goes out to all the women getting it in;
you on your grind
you on your grind
Maybe in the past 21 years she had been too rough on the boy. Maybe she hadn’t fulfilled the role of a mother. It wasn’t because she didn’t love him or Ezekiel for that matter. It was because part of her was afraid of opening up once more and losing it all again. Quillen had really done a number on her when he had been alive. Which wasn’t an excuse. Ever since she had married that man, the part of her that could love had withered away slowly. Which now affected the two boys she had raised on her own. Yet she had never wanted to be the smothering kind of mother. They wouldn’t grow strong from that. Though maybe the tactic she had put in place wasn’t that great either. Yet she couldn’t do much about it anymore. The damage had been done. Clearly. She could only hope for a better future for the both of them. And their offspring for that matter.
Myrddin was a boy that got dealt a wrong hand. With not being able to speak, he was considered a weakling by many. Which maybe in a way he was. But Aurelia did believe, deep down, that he had strength within him. That he would one day rise above them all and take care of Lythrania in the way he was supposed to. But he still needed to learn. A lot of things. Keeping himself and his familiar in check in the first place. It had been one of the hardest lessons for the other and apparently it hadn’t been enough. Which gave her some room to think about that. Perhaps there was more to it all. Yet, it shouldn’t have happened. Things like these, they should be talked out instead of fought out. But that latter one hadn’t been the fault of the one laying here. It simply had been Ezekiel’s fault of not keeping himself in check. Presumable that and the fact that Myrddin had something to anger the other even more.
Maybe she shouldn’t have called him stupid, but he was. She simply called it as it was. If he couldn’t handle that, then his mental state was even worse than his physical. Yet maybe it wasn’t the time for reason right now. Knowing her son he was beating himself up over it already. He didn’t even dare to look up to her, which was something she was used to. Yet she wasn’t going to say that it didn’t hurt. But who was she to question something like that right now?
’Stop.’ A calm sound in a soundless room. Stepping closer to him and taking a deep breath. Gently reaching for the other his cheek, making him look up at her. ’I’m happy that you’re alive. I truly am.’ The woman softly spoke, locking eyes with him. Her thumb briefly moving over his cheek. ’When that letter came, I thought that I had lost you.’ She admitted, for once in her life staring down at the ground. ’Tell me what happened son. I want to hear every detail.’ Even if she was certain that he’d take all the blame, she had to hear it. From both parties involved.
To all the men that respect what I do,
accept my shine.
accept my shine.
Mon Mar 27, 2023 10:23 am
Posts
IC Posts
Deceased
Myrddin Vylasar
- Jaz228215
❝ But despite it all, I was powerless ❞
He hated being here. Having to look up at her like he had done so many times back when he had been a kid. Nodding his head at everything she asked of him, until he started to mature. He would rebel, scream and struggle against everything that came his way. Because he was fighting back from his destiny. He never wanted any of this and in so many ways, he still didn't. Because, well, look at him. How would he ever be an heir to it all? How could he, a mute good for nothing boy, be destined for something like that. He couldn't even command one of his people to do his job. He couldn't even get his brother in line. He couldn't lead anything. He couldn't be anything. This little accident.... It had proven his worse fears... It had given his demons what they wanted; to confirm how truly weak he was. Perhaps he was being hard on himself, because everything came just a bit more difficult to him, mostly because he couldn't speak. But that didn't excuse his behaviour. It didn't matter how mute or deaf or blind he was. It didn't excuse how horrible of a person he was. It didn't... Give him a reason to be an awful person. To be a useless... Person.
And for so many people those thoughts would drag them down, would demotivate him. But... For him it just brought fuel to the fire. Because he had set his eyes on this future for quite some time now. He had worked so hard ever since he had bowed his head down to it all. Ever since he saw no more reason to fight it all. He had listened and he had worked. He had worked so hard. He had achieved things no other had achieved at his age. He had achieved summoning without a voice when he was but a mere toddler. And he had achieved a distinct, powerful fighting style when he was barely old enough to drink. He had trained with his familiar so perfectly that they were in an almost flawless sync. Her being able to reflect his emotions and thoughts in utmost perfection. He had achieved a bond with the majestic beast like no other. A bond that was envied by many sorcerers. He had been appointed captain at such a young age, with barely any experience. And he had thrived. In the chaos that the change brought he had shown resilience and power that no-one had expected of him. He had worked day and night, pushing himself more and more. He had mastered so many things from a young age. Rivalling some of the best that still walked the earth. And yet it wasn't enough. If he could wield 4 weapons, he still lacked 2 he could master. And if he could play countless instruments flawlessly, he still couldn't sing. And it would never be enough. He could perfect anything he set his mind to, any skill, any task, anything. But it wasn't good enough. And it would never be. Yet, he couldn't give up. He had thrown away his entire childhood for this, his entire life. He couldn't lose all of that because he just... Gave up. He refused.
With his head bowed down he remained in that position. His body in agonizing pain from the movement. He hated this, but he didn't have a choice. He had to show his respect for his governess, for the head of the family. And that was all she was in his eyes. The reason why he couldn't call her mother or see her as such. She was the one in charge, the one who held all their lives in the palm of their hand. And Myrddin didn't feel the tiniest sliver of paternal love from this woman. It had been so long ago when she still carried him around in her arms. Cared for him as a little boy or would treat him with warmth that a mother shared with her kin. He couldn't recall them, because the years had driven them apart. Her cold demeanour and his troubled mind were like two clashing waves, they couldn't mix peacefully... All they did was collide and break. One swifter than the other. And there was no end for such things in sight. Because he had become such still waters, letting her waves roll over him as if it was nothing. It would all wash over him soon enough. And if he closed his eyes, tried to wish it all away, perhaps... It would. And he could tolerate it once more, seeing it all from an outside view. Just letting life play out like it should. There was no... Reason to fight it anymore...
Her voice broke his thoughts and he held his breath, his muscles tensing up as his body readied up for another round of her degrading words. He should be used to it by now... But he still wasn't. An indication on how easily his surface was broken. He was such a fragile boy deep down. So easily touched by the people around him. And all he wanted to do was please them, see them happy... His heart was too big for his own good, even if he would never admit to it. His softness, his gentleness. It wasn't something they wanted here. It didn't have a place here. A disgrace. And he knew she would stomp on it. Eliminate that gentle little flame that was holding on for dear life to just... Be left alone. It had already lost so much.
He flinched when she grabbed his chin, taking a deep breath as she pushed his face upwards. He clenched his mouth ever so slightly as he forced himself to relax. The sudden touch of her fingers along his face felt cold and unpleasant. Unreal and out of place. They didn't belong here. Not in gentle ways that she tried to force herself into. And as she forced him to face her, his eyes stared up at her. Big, round grey eyes staring up at those same coloured windows to her soul. They had such similar eyes, yet such different gazes. Where his were filled with a whirlwind of emotions and life, hers couldn't be more void of it all. One being a grey pool filled with life and trouble, another a grey rock, unshaken and unbothered by the world around it. He had her eyes, but he didn't have her spirit.
She spoke, stating that she was happy. The corners of his mouth turned down at those words, because he couldn't help but feel like she said those thing because she simply had to. Otherwise it would be so wrong and twisted. Her thumb stroked his pale skin and he could feel the hair on his neck rise at that motion. He let out a soft breath when she did so, averting his eyes from hers as he stared at something just below them. Anything but meeting her gaze again. He didn't want to look at her anymore, he wanted to be left alone. But he couldn't force her out of here, nor would she ever leave him be. It was one of the burdens he had to carry with him. Hang your head little Vylasar boy, mother wants her way...
She went on... Words that felt a bit more emotional than the ones she had already spoken. Slowly he let his eyes go to hers, a curiosity tugging at him to see any kind of emotion in those void pools of hers. But she didn't face him this time. Her gaze had been averted to the ground, which... Caught him off guard. He blinked slowly, clear surprise in his gaze as he looked at the great Aurelia. She couldn't even face her son as she brought those words over her lips. She could look him straight in the eyes when insulting him, when degrading him and lecturing him, breaking apart his entire life so he would submit to the family. But she couldn't look at him when the thought of losing him came up in her words. And... He felt his heart slowly pull together at that sight. A glimmer of weakness of a person. A sliver of fear that the world would never see otherwise. A mother losing her son was something no-one should ever have to deal with. The greatest loss anyone could ever face. The one of offspring, of children. Of your blood, your eyes... Your soul. That loss was the one thing that seemed to get to her. It tugged at her dark, empty soul, gently unwrapping something below all that ice... And those wild ocean currents. In the end, even she was just a mother caring for her child.
And then she asked of him to share what had happened. What had caused all of this to unfold. What had almost torn away her son from her. What accident had happened here. What had caused the floodgates to open up once more. It wasn't about a what that had torn him apart, but a why. And it wasn't about who had done it, but a how it could have gone so far. It was all about those little questions that pestered her mind, no doubt about it. She wanted to know the things that no-one knew, except them. Because anyone could have made the observation that he had been torn apart by a bear. But not anyone could puzzle the story back together the way it was supposed to go. Only they could. Ezekiel and him. He knew that his brother blamed him for all of it and so did he. It was all his fault, after all, that the other had found the need to lash back with magic. If he had just kept his distance, not been so... invasive. Everything would be still the same. It wouldn't be fine, because they weren't just fine. They weren't even okay. The brothers hadn't seen eye to eye for years now. But they hadn't clashed like they had done that day. They had never... And Myrddin knew that from him out, he would never harm the other. Because he loved Ezekiel, with all his heart. He cared too much about that little brat to do anything towards him. Perhaps a slight scuffle would be in it for him, but nothing more. The silver haired man thought differently about that, that much was for sure.
The heir slowly looked down at his hands as he took a deep breath. The one and only chance was being presented before him. And he had to do it, perfectly so. So... He decided to start from the very beginning. 'When I ran away after our discussion, I went to Moonbright,' he signed slowly at her. She already knew that much, but he wanted to be clear with her. 'Ezekiel and I already had a very tense situation there that Shyam broke up,' He slowed down a bit as a frown came on his face. That wasn't all. 'It was at fathers grave, I was preforming a ritual for him for the festival. Ezekiel disturbed me. I do not hold anything against him for that. I was in the wrong for leaving Lythrania like that,' And it was. The other had been completely in his right and he had been acting like a child. 'After the festival I took duties into my own hands. I'm even glad to inform that I did had an audience with some council members and other high standing people... And I feel like..... I did well,' He really did. It wasn't perfect, but it was a step in the right direction. He had done his job, even when he had run away in some sort of temper tantrum. And he had done a good job at that, or at least... He hoped so. 'After I received the letter that my presence was requested here, I returned immediately,' Oh... The ship... How he wished he was back on that ship with him... Just bickering away about fish and bread. He missed those times.
'On my arrival back I felt more confident,' which wasn't only because of what he had done in Moonbright. It was also because of a certain guard that had made him feel loved and appreciated... And all light and fluffy. Shyam had been such a great influence in him. He had actually started to like himself, by just being with him. He was a true miracle worker, how he could simply do that by just... Being himself. But it did. That man was the best thing to ever happen to him. 'So when I saw Ezekiel spar with a boy a couple of days ago I felt confident enough to confront him about his issues regarding his summoning,' Which was, in a way, sort of his duty. 'It was out of concern for his training, mental well being and general performance as a city guard,' Those were his honest train of thought at the time. He wasn't going to cover that up. 'So I asked and he refused. So I asked again and he walked away,' He paused for a moment, his hands hovering atop of the bed as he held his breath. He tried to find the words that he needed to say here, but it was difficult. A frown came on his face as he shook his head ever so slightly. It was all such a mess. 'He denied my request, twice if I recall correctly. And I pushed on, because I felt like it was necessary to do so. If I didn't then...' Then what? He would have given in, given in to his job and his title as heir. Given in to being nothing more than just an annoying little fly around the others head. 'It was necessary, it still is, that he practices his summoning. And I wasn't going to give in,' For his own good.
'But I went too far,' Like how things always went too far. 'I was angry and upset and my familiar reflected those. She started to share my most inner thoughts. I wasn't... Really angry. I kept my emotions at bay, but she was because deep down I was too. And what she told him- Or more what she had wanted to say was wrong of me to even think about,' He shook his head again, his face shifting clearly as he became more and upset as the story went on. 'She wanted to say that if he didn't summon, he might as well not be a Vylasar. And I shouldn't even have even thought of that. I never even intended those frustrations to leave my head but it did,' It was the backlash of another creature carrying his voice. The burden he had to carry. 'After that he blew up,' a sob left his lips as he signed those final words. Quickly he pushed one hand against his face as he turned it away somewhat. Pushing away those tears as he took a deep breath. Deep breathes. Deep breathes. He was fine. He was fine.
And for so many people those thoughts would drag them down, would demotivate him. But... For him it just brought fuel to the fire. Because he had set his eyes on this future for quite some time now. He had worked so hard ever since he had bowed his head down to it all. Ever since he saw no more reason to fight it all. He had listened and he had worked. He had worked so hard. He had achieved things no other had achieved at his age. He had achieved summoning without a voice when he was but a mere toddler. And he had achieved a distinct, powerful fighting style when he was barely old enough to drink. He had trained with his familiar so perfectly that they were in an almost flawless sync. Her being able to reflect his emotions and thoughts in utmost perfection. He had achieved a bond with the majestic beast like no other. A bond that was envied by many sorcerers. He had been appointed captain at such a young age, with barely any experience. And he had thrived. In the chaos that the change brought he had shown resilience and power that no-one had expected of him. He had worked day and night, pushing himself more and more. He had mastered so many things from a young age. Rivalling some of the best that still walked the earth. And yet it wasn't enough. If he could wield 4 weapons, he still lacked 2 he could master. And if he could play countless instruments flawlessly, he still couldn't sing. And it would never be enough. He could perfect anything he set his mind to, any skill, any task, anything. But it wasn't good enough. And it would never be. Yet, he couldn't give up. He had thrown away his entire childhood for this, his entire life. He couldn't lose all of that because he just... Gave up. He refused.
With his head bowed down he remained in that position. His body in agonizing pain from the movement. He hated this, but he didn't have a choice. He had to show his respect for his governess, for the head of the family. And that was all she was in his eyes. The reason why he couldn't call her mother or see her as such. She was the one in charge, the one who held all their lives in the palm of their hand. And Myrddin didn't feel the tiniest sliver of paternal love from this woman. It had been so long ago when she still carried him around in her arms. Cared for him as a little boy or would treat him with warmth that a mother shared with her kin. He couldn't recall them, because the years had driven them apart. Her cold demeanour and his troubled mind were like two clashing waves, they couldn't mix peacefully... All they did was collide and break. One swifter than the other. And there was no end for such things in sight. Because he had become such still waters, letting her waves roll over him as if it was nothing. It would all wash over him soon enough. And if he closed his eyes, tried to wish it all away, perhaps... It would. And he could tolerate it once more, seeing it all from an outside view. Just letting life play out like it should. There was no... Reason to fight it anymore...
Her voice broke his thoughts and he held his breath, his muscles tensing up as his body readied up for another round of her degrading words. He should be used to it by now... But he still wasn't. An indication on how easily his surface was broken. He was such a fragile boy deep down. So easily touched by the people around him. And all he wanted to do was please them, see them happy... His heart was too big for his own good, even if he would never admit to it. His softness, his gentleness. It wasn't something they wanted here. It didn't have a place here. A disgrace. And he knew she would stomp on it. Eliminate that gentle little flame that was holding on for dear life to just... Be left alone. It had already lost so much.
He flinched when she grabbed his chin, taking a deep breath as she pushed his face upwards. He clenched his mouth ever so slightly as he forced himself to relax. The sudden touch of her fingers along his face felt cold and unpleasant. Unreal and out of place. They didn't belong here. Not in gentle ways that she tried to force herself into. And as she forced him to face her, his eyes stared up at her. Big, round grey eyes staring up at those same coloured windows to her soul. They had such similar eyes, yet such different gazes. Where his were filled with a whirlwind of emotions and life, hers couldn't be more void of it all. One being a grey pool filled with life and trouble, another a grey rock, unshaken and unbothered by the world around it. He had her eyes, but he didn't have her spirit.
She spoke, stating that she was happy. The corners of his mouth turned down at those words, because he couldn't help but feel like she said those thing because she simply had to. Otherwise it would be so wrong and twisted. Her thumb stroked his pale skin and he could feel the hair on his neck rise at that motion. He let out a soft breath when she did so, averting his eyes from hers as he stared at something just below them. Anything but meeting her gaze again. He didn't want to look at her anymore, he wanted to be left alone. But he couldn't force her out of here, nor would she ever leave him be. It was one of the burdens he had to carry with him. Hang your head little Vylasar boy, mother wants her way...
She went on... Words that felt a bit more emotional than the ones she had already spoken. Slowly he let his eyes go to hers, a curiosity tugging at him to see any kind of emotion in those void pools of hers. But she didn't face him this time. Her gaze had been averted to the ground, which... Caught him off guard. He blinked slowly, clear surprise in his gaze as he looked at the great Aurelia. She couldn't even face her son as she brought those words over her lips. She could look him straight in the eyes when insulting him, when degrading him and lecturing him, breaking apart his entire life so he would submit to the family. But she couldn't look at him when the thought of losing him came up in her words. And... He felt his heart slowly pull together at that sight. A glimmer of weakness of a person. A sliver of fear that the world would never see otherwise. A mother losing her son was something no-one should ever have to deal with. The greatest loss anyone could ever face. The one of offspring, of children. Of your blood, your eyes... Your soul. That loss was the one thing that seemed to get to her. It tugged at her dark, empty soul, gently unwrapping something below all that ice... And those wild ocean currents. In the end, even she was just a mother caring for her child.
And then she asked of him to share what had happened. What had caused all of this to unfold. What had almost torn away her son from her. What accident had happened here. What had caused the floodgates to open up once more. It wasn't about a what that had torn him apart, but a why. And it wasn't about who had done it, but a how it could have gone so far. It was all about those little questions that pestered her mind, no doubt about it. She wanted to know the things that no-one knew, except them. Because anyone could have made the observation that he had been torn apart by a bear. But not anyone could puzzle the story back together the way it was supposed to go. Only they could. Ezekiel and him. He knew that his brother blamed him for all of it and so did he. It was all his fault, after all, that the other had found the need to lash back with magic. If he had just kept his distance, not been so... invasive. Everything would be still the same. It wouldn't be fine, because they weren't just fine. They weren't even okay. The brothers hadn't seen eye to eye for years now. But they hadn't clashed like they had done that day. They had never... And Myrddin knew that from him out, he would never harm the other. Because he loved Ezekiel, with all his heart. He cared too much about that little brat to do anything towards him. Perhaps a slight scuffle would be in it for him, but nothing more. The silver haired man thought differently about that, that much was for sure.
The heir slowly looked down at his hands as he took a deep breath. The one and only chance was being presented before him. And he had to do it, perfectly so. So... He decided to start from the very beginning. 'When I ran away after our discussion, I went to Moonbright,' he signed slowly at her. She already knew that much, but he wanted to be clear with her. 'Ezekiel and I already had a very tense situation there that Shyam broke up,' He slowed down a bit as a frown came on his face. That wasn't all. 'It was at fathers grave, I was preforming a ritual for him for the festival. Ezekiel disturbed me. I do not hold anything against him for that. I was in the wrong for leaving Lythrania like that,' And it was. The other had been completely in his right and he had been acting like a child. 'After the festival I took duties into my own hands. I'm even glad to inform that I did had an audience with some council members and other high standing people... And I feel like..... I did well,' He really did. It wasn't perfect, but it was a step in the right direction. He had done his job, even when he had run away in some sort of temper tantrum. And he had done a good job at that, or at least... He hoped so. 'After I received the letter that my presence was requested here, I returned immediately,' Oh... The ship... How he wished he was back on that ship with him... Just bickering away about fish and bread. He missed those times.
'On my arrival back I felt more confident,' which wasn't only because of what he had done in Moonbright. It was also because of a certain guard that had made him feel loved and appreciated... And all light and fluffy. Shyam had been such a great influence in him. He had actually started to like himself, by just being with him. He was a true miracle worker, how he could simply do that by just... Being himself. But it did. That man was the best thing to ever happen to him. 'So when I saw Ezekiel spar with a boy a couple of days ago I felt confident enough to confront him about his issues regarding his summoning,' Which was, in a way, sort of his duty. 'It was out of concern for his training, mental well being and general performance as a city guard,' Those were his honest train of thought at the time. He wasn't going to cover that up. 'So I asked and he refused. So I asked again and he walked away,' He paused for a moment, his hands hovering atop of the bed as he held his breath. He tried to find the words that he needed to say here, but it was difficult. A frown came on his face as he shook his head ever so slightly. It was all such a mess. 'He denied my request, twice if I recall correctly. And I pushed on, because I felt like it was necessary to do so. If I didn't then...' Then what? He would have given in, given in to his job and his title as heir. Given in to being nothing more than just an annoying little fly around the others head. 'It was necessary, it still is, that he practices his summoning. And I wasn't going to give in,' For his own good.
'But I went too far,' Like how things always went too far. 'I was angry and upset and my familiar reflected those. She started to share my most inner thoughts. I wasn't... Really angry. I kept my emotions at bay, but she was because deep down I was too. And what she told him- Or more what she had wanted to say was wrong of me to even think about,' He shook his head again, his face shifting clearly as he became more and upset as the story went on. 'She wanted to say that if he didn't summon, he might as well not be a Vylasar. And I shouldn't even have even thought of that. I never even intended those frustrations to leave my head but it did,' It was the backlash of another creature carrying his voice. The burden he had to carry. 'After that he blew up,' a sob left his lips as he signed those final words. Quickly he pushed one hand against his face as he turned it away somewhat. Pushing away those tears as he took a deep breath. Deep breathes. Deep breathes. He was fine. He was fine.
Wed Mar 29, 2023 9:06 pm
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