Lost dog

she laughs at fear, she does not shy away from the sword.

Rán had just arrived in Ishgard. She was brought to her family estate, where it was soon revealed Ve was also spending his little summer holiday. At least he was smart enough to use family resources, because the boy would otherwise soon die because of starvation. Rán had stripped herself from the heavy furs she had been wearing. She was always surprised by Ishgard's agreeable climate. So as soon as her belongings were unloaded, she stepped back out of the door and made her way down to city center without a moment to waste.

If I were Ve, where would I be hanging out? What did the culprit like to do anyway? Except stir up some trouble. She decided to go down to the busy marketplace, not knowing where else to go. She kinda liked the anonimity she had here. Mainly because she didn't make a grand entrance. She was still wearing her travel robes and she was just some woman out here. Well, she did get some funny looks, like the peple recognized her but weren't sure. That was just perfect, because she didn't need witnesses when she inevitably would explode if she got her hands on her little brother.

Rán just could not believe he just left, again! Especially when she got so angry at him. She had hoped he would learn from that, but noooo. She would just have to accept that Ve was stupid. And when you speak of the devil. She spotted his white head of hair, and then caught a glimpse of his scarred face. Bingo. A smirk that didn't predict much good danced on her lips for a moment, and then she started to push her way through the crowd towards him.

‘‘Ve!’’ she shouted when she was close enough. She was sooo ready to just grab him by the collar of his shirt and punch him. Hard. Her hands were itching for it, ever since she ripped his stupid letter in tiny pieces. She was somewhat impressed that he made it to Ishgard alive. And against popular believe, she would like i that he stayed alive. Because a dead brother under her watch just wasn't the best advertisement.

into the fray

The quiver rattles against her side, along with the flashing spear and lance. In frenzied excitement she eats up the ground. She cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds.

❝ Silly me! For a moment I thought I was good enough! ❞

It was peculiar how he had met so many Rizals in such a short period of time. He hadn't been at Ishgard for a very long time, only a couple of days? He did enjoy his time with them as they all seemed rather calm individuals. A strong duality to the chaos that was called the Trygg family. He had left the estate that morning with some light clothing, as the weather was looking particularly nice today. Something that couldn't be said about Norwyn, where it was always cold. He took a small amount of money with him, as he wasn't really on the lookout for anything, but having it on hand was just generally nice. For a moment he thought about taking Ursa with him, but he decided against it. He would take the dog out for a walk later today.

Oh. A marketplace. He moved towards the place, taking a look around, but not really seeing anything that peaked his interest. As he frowned a bit, he could see a little girl in the corner of his one good eye pointing at him. She loudly asked her mother what that ugly thing was on his face and for a moment Ve actually froze in place. He had to take a deep breath and keep himself from turning towards the two and scolding the child. It is what children do, they ask about the world around them in ignorant bliss. But damn, that really hurt kid. He hastened his step in the hopes to just get away from the crows, as some of the attention was turned towards him. Luckily for him no one seemed to recognize him. Maybe for the better.

A voice pierced through the air and he knew it all too well. As he turned around, his eyes widened in disbelieve and fear. Oh fucking Ranaan. Why was she here? As he felt fear creep up on him, he tried to hold his stance. Tried to look... Not as if he wanted to actually piss his own pants. He looked around for a moment, took a step back and eventually looked back at his sister. He couldn't run, she was faster. He couldn't hide, like he wasn't stupid to just- No, was impossible. All he could do was face her wrath once again. Dear ranaan please give him strength.

He tried to smile, but it didn't work. He was too scared of this, of her. It all caused him to get an awkward, sheepish little smile on his face. Man, he looked stupid didn't he? "Rán... How nice to see you sister. I- I was just about to look for a-" Words??? She was getting closer "I was just doing what you told me!" he blurted out. He took a step back as he smiled nervously, his face slowly getting more hints of actual fear. "You said I should make myself useful, what use am I at home right? Right. I was thinking the same thing so-" So... What exactly? Shit.

she laughs at fear, she does not shy away from the sword.

Ve was smart enough not to run away from her. And as soon as she reached him, he started talking. But she was still looking forward to getting her hands on him. Rán didn't even try to hide her anger, but she did ball her hands in fists and hid them in de folds of her dress. She was still a governess. She could not hit her brother in public. Someone might recognize them, although she liked the anonymity at the moment. If he decided to act stupid, she would drag him home and give him a whooping he would remember. He just looked at her with that stupid grin on his face, and she answered it with thunder in her eyes.

He started to explain himself, but the excuses were bad. Very bad. She dug her fingernails in the palms of her hands. ‘‘I meant something like scrubbing floors or shoveling shit,’’ she grumbled at him. Why did he think this was useful? What in the world was he doing exactly? ‘‘Why are you so determined to run off and try to get yourself killed?’’ she then snarled, her voice starting to raise. ‘‘Because you know you can't survive outside on your own for more than a few days. That you even made it to Ishgard is a miracle.’’ He was weak and sickly. At home he was almost never fit enough to train. What if he encountered another wolf on the way? Or a bear? What if some criminals found him, the rich Trygg boy, all by himself. He was just rich pickings. What if he got kidnapped and she had to pay ransom? That was all bad reputation, mud on their name. What would her uncle say? What would everybody say, if she could not get her family in line. How was she supposed to rule a city? Her gaze pierced in his eyes. ‘‘You are no use to me dead, Ve.’’

into the fray

The quiver rattles against her side, along with the flashing spear and lance. In frenzied excitement she eats up the ground. She cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds.

❝ Silly me! For a moment I thought I was good enough! ❞

Oh why. Why was this his faith? He didn't even do anything particularly bad thing time. Unless you count running away as something bad. He left a message for them this time, letting them know he was just going to Ishgard. It wasn't his first time, maybe his first time alone, but what was the worst that could have happened? Right. A bear maybe? But he had gone by horse and he knew a horse could easily outrun a bear, so that wouldn't be an issue whatsoever. And then for the matter that in Ishgard self he could encpunter dangerous people, it was just a matter of luck. He could just as easily come across someone with bad intentions in Norwyn.

His excuses didn't work, or maybe it did... He couldn't tell, she just looked pissed off and angry, but she... Always looked pissed off and angry at him so... What was the difference? She started to talk again. That aggravating noise that was her voice really started to irritate him. If he wasn't already pissing himself by how scared he was, he would have surely made a comment on it. Scrubbing floors or shovelling shit. He had to hold his tongue for a moment as he really wanted to ask what kind of use he would be for doing that. They had maids and stuff to do that, why did she expect him to do maidwork? But talking back to his sister, in her current state, wasn't something he should do right now. He was smart enough to keep his snarky comments to himself. After all, dying wasn't something he planned for today.

She went on, asking why he was so determined to run off all the time. The next part of what she said made him avert his eyes for a moment, his expression shifting a bit as it became clear that he indeed felt guilty about it. But she went on, making it clear that he can't survive on his own. It made him so pissed off hearing that from her. She even mentioned how it was a miracle that he even made it. He tried to look her back in the eyes, but as soon as he saw her deadly gaze, he averted it back to the ground. For a moment he actually thought about speaking back to her and actually defending himself. But all that determination faded as soon as he had another look at her. He was sure that she would resort to physical violence if verbal wasn't enough.

She eventually ended her rant by saying that he was no use to her dead. It came as a bit of a surprise that she even said that, especially after their last... 'talk'. "I'm sorry," That's not what he wanted to say. He wanted to scream. He wanted to yell at her, tell her that she was lying and that she had to stop saying those things. He wanted to tell her that he had enough of all of this, of these hurtful words and the general way that he was being treated. He wanted to make it clear to her that he was hurting too. That he had been hurting for such a long time. The passing of their father only making that huge wound hurt even more.

But he didn't, because he was too much of a coward to do so.

And even though his mind was racing with words that he wanted to say, fear overwhelmed him and kept him in his place. He couldn't do anything against her. He couldn't even say anything against her. He could only offer his apologies. They weren't even sincere, since he wasn't sorry at all. What he did was for himself and not for her or for the family. He knew all too well that his name was worth more than his life. But that didn't mean he had to live to serve it, only to die having done nothing with his life.

"I came to Ishgard to find information on a healer, a moon elf to be precise," he said, feeling eerily calm as he went on. "Since the wounds are still fresh I'm sure that it can be healed before it starts to form any scars," It wasn't something a druid could do. Ve knew that he didn't need to mention to her the fact that he wouldn't find a moon elf powerful enough in Ravaryn to heal him. He would have to go to Lemuria to actually find one. "I- I'll take a guard with me," He tried to look at her, but couldn't. "Maybe two. I've already discussed it with Aurora as well and she would love to join me on this so she can tend to me on the journey," He wasn't actually planning on taking anyone with him. But now that he told her everything he was sure that she wouldn't let him go without a guard. Actually, she probably wasn't even gonna let him go at all.

"And- While I'm there I can also establish some relationships, maybe discuss trading routes to Norwyn?" Even though he wasn't physically strong, he was quite knowledgeable about a lot of things. Economics was one of them. Lemuria was the most prosperous of all the nations in the realm, so actually having a more stable relationship and trading route with some high standing merchants would be something that could work in their favour. It would surely benefit Norwyn, that was for sure.

she laughs at fear, she does not shy away from the sword.

Rán hadn’t even touched him, but he still acted like a kicked dog. She glared at him furiously. She was never going to admit that she had been worried. Because she had been. Not because she had a special place in her heart for her idiot brother, but because the talk it would create, how it would sullen her family name if her father and her brother died mysterious deaths. But he was family, and as he was a Trygg, he had his values. The only male heir of her father, so he had a responsibility to fulfil. She felt pity for the poor girl who’s live she had yet to ruin.

He said he was sorry and finally start to explain himself. It still sounded like an excuse. ‘‘Let me see,’’ she grumbled and she reached up to grab his chin to turn his wounded eye towards herself. It was a wicked gash, and she had never really taken a closer look at it. And he still couldn’t remember what had created it? She was too filled with rage when he had arrived home to study it closer. At that time her mind was filled with how she would explain to her family, her people, that Ve had missed their father’s funeral, being unable to speak his last words, leaving a smudge on his memory. She let his face go. ‘‘And? Have you found one?’’ Moon elves didn’t live here. The elves were slain years ago, and the elves that he needed were beyond the Ancient Mountains. Beyond Ashmoor, he would have to travel for weeks. She then understood what he was asking of her. No, he would come straight home with her.

But he wanted to go, that was clear. He was running for his live and his responsibilities. He could take some guards, some healers, make trading routes, she didn’t care. Guess he would scar, maybe then he could look a bit tough. They would spin a story behind it, make him some hero. At least scars didn’t pass along. ‘‘You want to go to Lemuria? That was your big plan?’’ she scowled at him with a disapproving snarl. ‘‘Just run away from home with only a shitty note and then travel half across the continent? No, I won’t have it.’’ She wanted to pull out her hair, beat some sense into him. And all her uncle said was to give him free reign, make him understand that he was a liability. So she took a deep breath, composed the little patience she had left for him. ‘‘You’ll have to prove to me that you can take care of yourself and you’ve been slacking your whole life. What if you are forced to defend yourself? To stand up for yourself, for our family? I can’t trust you with that.’’

into the fray

The quiver rattles against her side, along with the flashing spear and lance. In frenzied excitement she eats up the ground. She cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds.

❝ If you knew the truth, you'd probably hate me. ❞

Simple talk wouldn't satisfy her. He knew that much. He wasn't an idiot, but he was a coward. And how emotions could cloud ones decisions was ever grand, especially in his case. He was actually quite good under pressure, but not when it came from her. Rán was most likely the scariest woman in the realm, if not the entirety of the world. And it provided her power, she knew that much. It was something their father did as well. Why be loved when you could be feared. That was the kind of treatment he received from his entire family. And perhaps that made him the softest. Because, well, he didn't wanna be feared. Not by means of intimidation. Not that he could, he was barely enough to scare off a kid. He was a weak man with little that could scare people. At least, on the surface.

She grabbed his head and he clenched his teeth as he was pulled down and turned. His eyes shifted towards his sister as she observed the wound. But she was in his blind spot, as the milky white eye was damaged beyond repair. Vision had been lost in the thing and he knew that he would most likely never see again through it. There was hope, a little bit of hope. But he knew that keeping hope was pointless. Only facts could satisfy him now. Eventually, she let go of him. The Trygg boy straightened his back and brought his hand up to go over his face. That wasn't very pleasant... Damn. But at least she didn't hit him. The fact he had flinched for a moment when her fingertips touched him was evidence that he expected something from her that ended in violence. It was somewhat a good thing that it didn't. But it made him even more unsure on what he should expect from her moving forward. Maybe it was just because they were in public. The aftermath would soon follow back at the estate. He wasn't safe, he knew that much.

She mocked him and he sighed, averting his eyes. Did he find one? No, of course not. Moon elves rarely travelled all the way here. And even if they decided to visit the north, their magic would be weak. Would it even make a difference if he found a mage or an elf in that regard? He was sure it wasn't. He shook his head slowly as to give her at least a response. He had hoped she at least considered the fact that travelling to Lemuria was a given. He had to hold back a sigh and an eyeroll. Because well, that wouldn't be very respectful towards her. Not that he cared that much. She had been disrespecting him almost his entire life. Then again she was governess and he was just a boy, born into wealth and high position. He had nothing else to him beside name. Pathetic, to say the least. But there was power in those who found even benefit in things that seemed oh so meaningful to others. And he was aware of it. He was aware of her view towards him. And that was everything he needed.

She went on in a way that mocked his plan. He shook his head as she spoke. "I wouldn't just leave. I would have informed you before I went," He said in a mumbling tone. He wasn't stupid. Just vanishing to another kingdom without first stating it to his family would result in more chaos the Tryggs didn't need. And perhaps he shouldn't care about that. Because well, he would leave the behind. No longer his problem, if you asked him. But Rán went on. She went on to say that he'd been slacking his entire life. That one sentence really went through him, as a knife through his heart. What did she just say? He looked at her, a frown on his face. Was she serious? Was she actually serious about that? He'd been slacking? His entire life? Was he not the sick man who had pushed aside all his pain to try and help at the docks? Was he not the man that stood up every time his illness knocked him down? What about all the time he put in his studies, in his attempts to find something for himself? Was she actually for real? He held his breath. She was.

And she didn't stop there. No. She went on. Defending himself, stand up for the family. Do something for the family. Be something for the family. You have to prove your worth. Do what you can do. He had to prove himself, prove himself... for the name, the family, the legacy. An eyesore didn't have a place like that here. He slowly blinked as it was clear she was done speaking to him. For a moment he only stared at her, dumbfounded by what she had told him. Slacking. He had been slacking. That was her judgement. She's just like him, wasn't she? He clenched his teeth, put his hands behind his back as his hands slowly formed into fists. Stupid bitch didn't even realize how fucking difficult it was. She should honestly get a taste of her own medicine. Walk a mile in his shoes. Maybe then she could see what he saw. But those were mere thoughts, mere visions he could never realise. Not now, not never.

"You got me," His voice sounded eerily calm. As if something snapped in him. "I'm not here for Lemuria," Was he really gonna say this? Play with his own future by bringing this up? Oh if this ever reached her ears it was sure she would hate him. But right now he needed this to save himself. "Alyssia Rizal, heiress to the Rizal family and daughter to the high priestess, Camilla Rizal," He took a deep breath. "I came so I could get married to her," Everyone knew that the girl was somewhat sheltered. She was rarely seen in public. But he had Ranaan at his side, or so it be. Because he had met her. And he had already gotten the chance to put his work somewhat into action. "She's simple minded, easy to play around with. She's truly sheltered, almost like a child," He felt so bad even speaking about her like this. He almost told Rán that she was easy to manipulate. Because well, that was the case. She had innocence in her and trusted to easily. It would cost her if she kept it up. But that meant he could benefit from it. "She has already taken a liking to me. Let me get closer to her and I'll ask her to marry me," He tilted his head. "Isn't that a girls wildest dream? Romance, a promise of pure love?" Perhaps not for Rán, but women could be very simple.

"Divination at your convenience," He felt so dirty even speaking about this like this. But it was his only way of giving himself some space. Weave a lie around the truth so you could still find a way to get out of here. As long as she didn't find out. "I'm sure that is an offer even you can't pass up, right?" his voice remained calm when he spoke. He wanted to get out of here. What was he saying? He didn't want to get married, not yet. Sure, Alyssia was a nice girl and all. But to spit all of this out as if it was all part of a greater plan. It had been in the back of his mind ever since meeting her, yes. But to actually speak it out loud. He truly was no better then the rest of the Tryggs. It pained him oh so much to say this. But he was trapped, no way out. It was perhaps a last resort, in its own right. Sorry Alyss.

she laughs at fear, she does not shy away from the sword.

Ve was best to describe as a kicked dog. He shied away from her hand as if she would hit him. She couldn't blame him, as it had passed through her mind. But he was smarter than that, she hoped, that he realized why she could not do that. He was lucky they were out in public, where she could not raise her voice or cause a scene. Things would have been very different in the privacy of their house. But if she could not use violence, she could give a verbal beating. And she had been very reasonable. She had told him she could not trust him, and why. He had never been able to live up to a promise. So when their was only a weak, mumbling excuse she sharply raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. She did not believe him. No, he would just love to disappear into thin air, away like the wind to places they were never supposed to go. How far south could he go, before they stopped knowing their name or how they looked. Would he want that, be someone else? Sadly they could not chase after those little dreams. They were blood of the first men of the North. They should stay in the North, and they should strengthen their name and claim on those rough territories. It was because people like her still remained in charge of the highest territories, because she knew there were still families who thought they should have never bent the knee to the "foreigners". That's what they called the Ravaryn Royal family, although it was now centuries ago.

But after all, Ve could still surprise her. And he spun her the most bizar story. She raised her chin and furrowed her brows as he spoke, talking that he was here for the young Rizal. Rán studied him closely as he went on. Why, why? Why would he then lie to her in the first place and now... Talk about marriage? And then he continued to speak badly about the girl which hand he wanted. Told her that she was sheltered and simple minded. So she was stupid? Rán could remember the Rizal family, and she always was cautious with them. How could you not, when they held the future in the palm of their hands. If they could predict what was to come? It was that power that allied with the Ylindar family. The royals kept them in their court, and it made them a force to be reckoned with. The Royal families all around the continent traded in sorcerers if they were just wares, and Ve opted that he could marry a Rizal. Well, where would that girls loyalty lie then?

Rán scoffed when Ve said something about true love and girls wishes. ‘‘Unambitious girls,’’ she bit him. He could try telling her or Nerys that, she doubted that Nerys gave a horses ass about pure love. And neither did she. Women like her, with name, wealth, even a shred of authority, they were traded away among the rich and famous. Why should the Rizal girl be any different? But then came the big promise: divination at her convenience. Her head snapped up again. She had been so shrouded in thought, that her glance had drifted away. ‘‘You plan to bring this girl to Norwyn?’’ She took a step back and studied him closely. It was all about trust again, and she did not trust her brother. Was this another plan of him to prove himself useful, or was he trying to play her? His story had changed massively when she denied him Lemuria. First it was moon elves, then sorcerers. Maybe he should not try to dabble with magic he could not control. ‘‘And this girl likes.. you?’’ she said with disbelief, eyeing him up and down. He was scrawny, lanky.. and that scar. The edges of her mouth turned downwards.

‘‘One chance,’’ she warned him, pointing one finger up at him. She tried to remember her uncle's words, but it was hard to live them down. ‘‘And I want to meet that girl.’’ She vaguely remembered her from some events, years ago. Her family, the Royal family and the Rizal's, they were among the most influential in Ravaryn. And her mother, if she remembered correctly, was the high priest. There was so much that could go wrong. But he had a point, that it was a good thing to connect their families, to deserve a bit of that magic that the Ylindars had all those years. ‘‘And I am still mad at you.’’

into the fray

The quiver rattles against her side, along with the flashing spear and lance. In frenzied excitement she eats up the ground. She cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds.

❝ If you knew the truth, you'd probably hate me. ❞

His heart pounded in the back of his throat. He could feel the sensation of adrenaline take a hold of him as he kept her gaze. What had he just... Said? What had he just promised her? He felt his breathing hasten when he realized what he had just done. Why did he sound like some sort of great mastermind? As if he knew what he was doing? He did things out of impulse, always had been doing that. The one thing he had actually prepared, had been looking forward to, had been denied. And... here he was. Acting like he knew so much. Rán could see through him if she wanted, but he held his breath in hopes that she didn't. Once he was out of Ravaryn it would only be a matter of time before he would make it to Lemuria. Find a cure and start over. To be the man he was destined to be. Sure. He would have to start from zero, but he didn't mind. He had a lot of knowledge to his disposal, perhaps he could take up a job as a teacher there or maybe even something greater. Whatever it was, he would have freedom. Free of ties from the Tryggs. Free of whatever they wanted from him. Because at the end of the day he had nothing to offer to them. He was a mere punching bag to them and they knew it. She knew it, he knew it, they all knew it. They laughed at him, they ridiculed him, belittled him, even hurt him. This... Was not family was supposed to be. And if they did not grant it, he would seek it out on his own. He would find his own happiness, no matter the cost.

Ráns comment made him bite his tongue for a moment. Normal girls. His sisters were messed up beasts in their own right. Normal people didn't want this. Normal people wanted good things in their lives. Yet here they were plotting some sort of marriage to trap a poor innocent girl that didn't have anything to do with all their drama. Truly despicable that this thing did capture Ráns attention. Where had the time gone where they were children... Not that Ve had many fond memories of his childhood. Just like now had he always been cast aside, been assaulted with words for the mess that he was. Nothing more then a weak useless boy. No-one cared if he lived or died. But to think back at the simplicity he had seen so many times through the window. Of his sister going out, playing and all that. He never had that sort of childhood. No training with father or any fun things in the snow. No... He was never granted by something so pure. A bystander at best, it was enough to know how simple things were back then.

The questions... Take her back to Norwyn. He nodded, slowly blinking as he did. She likes you? He nodded again, not much changing in posture or expression. He just looked... Empty. As if everything had been drained of him. He just didn't care anymore. Why... would he. She didn't care, they didn't care. "Not all girls like the same type of men," He said. I guess not everyone's dream is a big buff dude that can turn into a bear. He bit his tongue as not to say it. It would only anger her and he didn't need that right now. He was pissed off enough at her and he knew that he couldn't have much more before he would actually say things that would regret. Not that he hadn't already.... These words had been calculated, but actual anger would led him to insults. He wasn't mad like her to throw it out like that. Words were supposed to have power and meaning. Once something was said enough they would lose their meaning. Insults did little to him anymore. You couldn't destroy a self esteem that wasn't even there to begin with anyway.

One chance and she wanted to meet her. He nodded once again. Whatever made her shut her mouth and let him be. Rán had done it now. She had started a fire and it was burning their bridge. She didn't realize how quickly he would cut their ties when he got the chance. He had enough of it. Enough of how he was treated. Let her be happy with the lie, let her live in that fantasy. It would allow him freedom to make sure that he could flee properly. Never to be heard from again. She ended it with the fact that she was still mad at him. He blinked slowly. "Of course," when are you not. You are just... Like him. And his anger became yours. He hated it.

"I don't feel well," he simply said. "I'm going home," And with those words he simply stepped away, walking in the direction of the estate. He sighed for a moment, feeling the weight of his own lies and words lay heavy on him. How he hated them, this family of monsters. And how he had proven he was just as much apart of their malpractices. He felt dirty and broken admitting to it. To be a Trygg was to be fierce, was to be proud... Was to be warrior. It was to be something far beyond anything that made you human.