Living in a constant nightmare

Hazel wasn’t sure why she kept doing this. Maybe it was because the Middle Ring was closely related to the Upper Ring? Maybe it was because she didn’t want to forget the memories linked to the Upper Ring, even though they were almost completely overshadowed by bad experiences? She didn’t know, but she knew she couldn’t keep doing this. Visiting the Middle Ring was a huge risk, even though the chances were slight that someone from the Upper Ring would visit a place like a library situated in the Middle Ring, let alone recognize her. She had changed her identity, her appearance and even her personality had chance, although the latter hadn’t been by choice. It had been formed by the gruesome reality that she was faced with when she entered the Lower Ring.

Her footsteps resounded a bit too loudly for her liking throughout the aisles of the library. She didn’t even know what she was looking for. Maybe a book that would teach her how to make anything of her life. How to go from everything to almost nothing. Or maybe a book that could inform her about druids, but she was fairly sure that a book like that didn’t exist in Ashmoor. Magic was heavenly forbidden within the kingdom; Hazel was pretty sure that any book related to the matter would either be banned or burned. Which meant that nothing would help her. Nothing would save her. So why did she even try? Why didn’t she give up already? Remiël had taught her how to effectively use a dagger and how to end a life.

So why couldn’t she just end all the misery and end hers?

Hazel was so engrossed in her thoughts that it almost scared her when she heard a voice nearby. She carefully peeked around the corner, seeing a man around her age sitting at a table. By the way he cracked his joints back into place she was pretty sure that he had fallen asleep, which was confirmed when she heard him speaking. Her heart started racing as she looked around. She should mind her own business and leave. The longer she stayed in the Middle Ring, the more dangerous it could get for her. But there was some kind of urge inside of her that wanted to at least see one friendly face. And maybe he wasn’t as friendly as she thought, but her naivety made it hard for her to turn around and leave. She could take her chances, right? She did have nothing to lose, after all.

”Ehm…” Hazel carefully walked towards him, speaking up to attract his attention. ”I’m no masseuse, but I could give it a shot?” she asked, hinting at his probably aching back. She wasn’t sure for how long he slept, but it couldn’t be very good for his back to lay down on the table like that, his body bended forwards because he was sitting on that chair. ”O-Of course it’s also none of my business, so I could just leave if I’m bothering you,” she spoke nervously, taking a step back. Who did she think she was? Of course no one from the Middle Ring wanted Lower Ring scum like her around him. If he knew where she came from, he would probably want nothing to do with her.

And could she really blame him?