The sensation of drowning

❝ But despite it all, I was powerless ❞

In his restless dreams there were shades and shadows that kept looming over him. Stretching over him and almost completely swallowing him in the very depth of their essence. It was a tireless struggle, an uphill battle, to try and keep himself from sinking beneath the surface. In a way reliving the nightmare, over and over. The snapping of twigs, branches, followed by constant searing pain from just below his hips. And when he tried to look at it, there was just more of that darkness that surrounded him. IT happened again and again and again and again. A never-ending loop that kept him prisoner... And with every new jab, every new painfilled sensation, he felt himself slip more and more... He tried to cry out, just yell, but he couldn't even open his mouth. It was as if his body wasn't his own anymore... And when he reached for his face to try and feel what was wrong, there was nothing. Panic set in as this delusional world started to spin around him. Faster and faster... Until one point stood out between all the darker shades; a pair of pure glowing eyes staring down at him.

When he tried to take a step back, but his legs... It felt like they weren't even there, like he didn't even have any. And when he tried to look down, there was nothing to be seen beside from an ocean quickly wrapping around him. The water seemed to rise quickly as he tried to push it away. His focus went back to those eyes from before, but they had vanished. He could feel his throat tensing up as he looked around. Spinning around in the quickly rising water that seemed to pull at him, more and more and more. Until his eyes finally focused on a light in the distance. That was it. Safety. Safety... He tried to push himself through the current, but his entire body started to sink as soon as he moved. The water rising from his belly to his shoulder, to his mouth in a matter of minutes. He tried to tilt himself up, gasp for air as his eyes desperately stared out to the one light source in the ever-dark ocean around him. He tried to beg, but no sounds left his lips. He tried to reach, but the liquid around him weighed his arms down. He could feel water enter his lungs as he tried to scream out one more time. And it burned. It burned his entire insides. It all burned. He tried to cry out, but there he couldn't even breathe. He was sufficating...

He woke up in cold sweat, his breathing already heightened before he opened his eyes. He gasped for air as he rapidly blinked, not even focusing on where he was or who was even there. He franticly looked around, pushing himself to sit upright right away. The movement caused him to yelp silently out in pain as his body rejected this. He flinched, his muscles tensing up and forcing the strength out of his arms. He collapsed on the spot back in his bed, staring up at the ceiling while he was barely able to control his breathing. His entire body shivered, already back in the fight or flight response from earlier.

There is greatness,

Pure horror it was. From the moment he had heard that monstrous growl, the way he had jumped up from where he stood and had frantically searched for Myrddin. Only to be sent away by passing guards to fetch a healer. The audacity. But Shyam had complied, had sped off in search for the first people he could find. The head physician of the Vylasar’s. Thank heavens. But instead of going with the man he had been sent off to the hospital wing to fetch some things. Like he was a goddamn errand boy. But when he eventually came back to the room in question, he had seen Myrddin being carried in and his heart just fucking broke. What on earth… He was being kept from entering once more, so he just stood there in front of the door. Joined by the guards that had pulled Ezekiel off of the blonde man. Which made anger burst in his chest. But he was glued to the ground. He needed to make sure that Myrddin would make it. The one time that he had been granted some time off. The one time everything went to shit.

The healers had gone, which was the moment Shyam stepped in the room and wouldn’t leave it again. First staring at the wounded man from a distance, but his heart won against his mind, stepping closer up to the edge of the bed. Wanting to reach for him, but with holding himself at the last minute. The back of his hand brushing Myr’s hand. ’Please wake up.. I can’t do this without you.’ He whispered ever so softly, closing his eyes for a second. And that was how time passed, with Shy just standing there at the edge of the bed. Anger clear in his eyes when people tried to enter the room. As long as it wasn’t the man who had caused this. His anger would stay at bay, but he couldn’t say that he wouldn’t do nothing if he ever saw Ezekiel here. Oh no. Those were things, he’d rather not think about just yet.

It was in a sudden moment, that he heard the other gasp for air. Making him swallow. He sat up and all he wanted to do was hold the other down. When he did fall back down, he stepped even closer. Very gently placing his hand on the other his cheek. ’Don’t make any sudden movements. You’re okay. You will be okay. I’m going to make sure of it.’ Lowering himself down, briefly pressing his forehead against that of the other. A frail sliver of hope that it would calm him down.

within you.

MONTY

❝ But despite it all, I was powerless ❞

He was hyperventilating again without even realizing it. It had felt like he was drowning just a moment ago. And the burning pain all over his body only seemed to confirm that. He softly trembled, his mind still in that dark place where there was no way out. He just stared up at the ceiling, not even comprehending where he was in that very moment. It all felt so blurry, what had happened, what was happening now... All he knew was that he was in danger. His senses told him. Anxiety rushed over him as waves, some stronger than the others. The pain that seemed to get worse by the second didn't help either; it was like confirmation for this dreadful feeling that was eating away at him.

He flinched when he felt the touch to his cheek. His body clearly under stress, it hadn't anticipated a sudden touch. He looked over to the movement, blinking rapidly as he did. His vision was still blurry, so he looked over the other with big round eyes. It was clear how scared he really was as he looked up at the other, his gaze almost begging him to not hurt him. It was only when he moved closer, and it became clear who it was... That that fear faded away. His eyes softened up, breaking almost as tears filled his eyes. A sob leaving his lips as his body started to shake more and more from the tension. Tears started to roll down his cheeks as he had a difficult time controlling his breathing.

And as he lay there, softly crying, he could hear his voice. It only broke him more as his crying became worse, almost uncontrollably so. He moved his head a bit, trying to get closer to the other as much as possible. His shaky hands slowly reaching up, first missing the other entirely, but eventually he clenched onto him... And he pulled. He pulled at his clothes, he pulled at him. His grasp, however, was still weak. And where he normally was a very strong and capable man, he lost himself completely in the moment. Soft sounds leaving his lips as he shook his head again. Almost pleading to the other. But alas, there were no words leaving his mouth, just soft, raspy sounds. He was scared to slip back into that place. He feared the pain that was rushing over his body. And he feared the unknown. He needed this right now; he couldn't be without him.

There is greatness,

The other was hyperventilating, he picked up on it instantly. But he couldn’t do anything. It hurt. He wanted to shake him, telling him everything would be alright. But he couldn’t. The only thing he could do was being with him. Was offering up his support. Was pushing away his anger in order to make room for consolidation. Luckily the healers had left him here with something against the pain, which was something he was going to suggest when the other did calm down a bit. He could only imagine the pain the other was feeling and fuck, it broke him all over again.

Feeling him flinch under his touch made him swallow. Fucking Ezekiel. The way Myr looked up at him, it pained him. So scared. As if he was going to lay a hand on the other. His heart started to race in his chest once more. But maybe it was that sob that did it. That pulverized him from within. That left him there standing, sobbing as well. He hated that other was in pain, he hated that he couldn’t do anything about it. But most of all, he hated that he hadn’t been around to keep it from happening. If anything he would’ve taken the blows himself, then he would’ve been the one laying here instead of the other.

It was the slightest touch from which Shy got some strength again. But as he felt the other hold onto his shirt he caved again. Very softly pressing a bit closer to him. Heart thudding. ’I’m here. I’ll always be here.’ Shyam whispered ever so softly, looking at the other with tearstained eyes. Very gently letting his thumb brush over his cheeks. ’Try breathing with me please.’ A way of calming down the other, so he could give him some of the pain relief when they would both be calm.

within you.

MONTY

❝ But despite it all, I was powerless ❞

He clung onto Shyam with all the strength he had right now, which honestly wasn't much. And him forcing his weak body to do such a thing, just made him tremble more. If it wasn't for that panic, he surely would have felt how weak and tired he really was. But those instincts had kicked right back in as soon as he was able to move again. It was as if what happened had made a permanent mark on his brain without him even realizing it. Right now, he didn't even know why he was here. His memories were hazy and that honestly made it all worse. Why did everything hurt? Why did it feel like he was going to suffocate? Where was he? What was going on? The questions clouded his judgement and made it impossible for him to think straight ~~not that he could really think straight in any other situation but that was something else.~~

Shy came closer to him, and it calmed him down as he pressed his head against his. He closed his eyes for just a moment as the tears kept streaming down his cheeks. Soft sobs still leaving his lips. The only constant that he could cling onto. The only thing he could trust right now. It was a good thing that he remained where he was, because if he even moved the slightest inch away from him, he knew he would lose himself again. And perhaps it was childish for him to respond like this. But in this very moment that was the last thing that crossed his mind; right now, he was in survival mode. He wanted to hide away, run away from whatever had chased him in his dream. The soft words the other spoke caused him to ease up a bit. Hearing his soothing voice was all he needed right now. Reassuring words that he was here. He really was here. They both were here. He had him, he was clinging onto him... He wasn't going anywhere. He slowly opened his eyes again, looking back up at the other. His vision seemed to clear up a bit, it was all becoming clearer by the second.

The fog in his mind seemed to lift slowly. Some things came back to him but didn't seem to make sense right away. It was all just small pieces of puzzle... And he didn't have the energy to try and piece it together. When Shy suggested something, he nodded. Although he was still crying, it was better now. He already seemed a lot calmer than just a few moments ago. But his eyes were wide open, staring off into something that wasn't there. As some things that he recalled were true horror before his eyes. It was almost as if he couldn't believe his own memories.

He seemed to stare off into that void for quite some time, before finally snapping out of it. He blinked rapidly, looking over the others’ faces hastily. He nodded once more but didn't even know why. The blonde man tried to focus on the other, looking at him as he tried to follow his breathing as he had suggested earlier. And it did work a bit. But it was hard to focus as his mind seemed to drift away at every opportunity it got. It was clear of his expression that he was already somewhere else with his thoughts, but even he didn't really know where that was. It scared him.

There is greatness,

There was little strength behind the way he was being held. If he wanted he could pull himself loose easily. But he didn’t. If anything he wanted to crawl in bed with him. Hug him close and never let him go. If anything he didn’t want the other to do anything that physically bothered him. He needed to heal. He needed to rest. So he could come back from this stronger. But that was only the physical aspect. Mentally, he wasn’t sure what damage there was for the other. Did he even remember? By the gods, he hated this. He should’ve been there to stop him. To protect him against his own fucking relatives. It angered him again. Knowing that damned fool he would certainly blame the other as well. He sincerely hoped that he wouldn’t come eye to eye with Ezekiel soon.

Shy stayed where he was. Unbothered by how uncomfortable this position truly was for him. If it helped the other. He’d stand her for days on end like this. When Myr opened his eyes again he locked with them. Staring into the deepest of his soul. Heart skipping a beat. Thumb gently stroking over his cheek, hoping it would bring some ease to the other. But something seemed to shift for the blonde man. He couldn’t pinpoint it, but he saw something change in his eyes which made his heart falter. Swallowing down the lump that started to form in his throat.

Gently he let his hand move to the other one that held onto him. Carefully taking it and guiding it to his chest, where his heart was. ’Focus on my heartbeat. Nothing else.’ He whispered, voice sounding hoarse from the emotions he held back. Trying to keep the other as present as he could.

within you.

MONTY[

❝ But despite it all, I was powerless ❞

The only thing he was certain of, was the constant pain that rushed over his body. Mostly coming from his belly and legs. A part of him wanted to take a look at it, but another part of him was too scared to even face it. Maybe if he focused on something else, his pain would fade. If the image of the wound was carved into his brain it would be hard to not think about it anymore. So he just stared off into the distance, sometimes focusing himself back on Shyam. His mind was slowly being flooded by memories that seemed misplaced. They didn't seem to be in the right order and he couldn't recall certain parts of instances that had happened. All he really remembered... Was that he had been scared. That was the one thing that was clear in his mind.

When the other grabbed his hand, he snapped back out of it, his muscles tensing up as he tried to grab back onto the other. But when he felt the others hand around his he calmed down. With wide eyes he stared at him, at first somewhat protesting against the movement, but then letting it happen. When his fingers touched the others skin he tensed up, not really understanding what was happening. But Shyam spoke again and for a moment he looked down at the others chest. His heart... He blinked rapidly, feeling the sudden movements of its beat beneath his fingertips. He hadn't even noticed it until the other had pointed it out. The blonde man took a deep breath, holding on to it for just a moment, before finally nodding... A soft sigh followed soon after.

He stared at his hand resting against the others chest and after some time, he finally let go of the others shirt with the other. His gaze going back up to the others face. He looked at him for a moment, before finally moving his hand away from the others chest. His fingers going to the others neck, to the back of his hand. He could feel his soft hair between his fingers and slowly he let it go to the side of his head. As his hand gently cupped around the other he used his free arm to push himself a bit more upwards. Gently letting his face rest against his. He closed his eyes, letting the familiar smell of the other overwhelm him... Before he gently pressed his lips against his cheek. The forced movement of his body was painful, but he didn't care... He really didn't. As he let his hand trace the others jaw he eventually pressed his lips against his. Not a kiss for passion or sorts like they had been before; but a kiss with more meaning. those flooding memories had given him more perspective on the situation; he was glad that he was still here with him.

There is greatness,

He carefully watched the other. Seeing the tension flood over his face and body. It made him bite his lip shortly. Maybe he was doing this wrong. Maybe he should just let him rest. But he desperately needed to get something out of the other. He needed Myrddin’s mind on something else than the events that had happened and right now this was the only way he saw that happening. He took a deep breath, focusing on the touch on his chest himself. It felt good. It felt more real than anything else to be fair. He relaxed a bit more himself, not entirely. Not yet. He couldn’t. Not before he was certain that the other was doing semi okay.

When his shirt was released he frowned shortly. Meeting his gaze once more. The faintest of smiles breaking through. He needed to show the other that it was okay. But at the touch he swallowed once more. Trying to support the other when he pushed himself upwards by gently placing his hands underneath his back. Holding him up like that. In the hopes that it would relieve some tension. Leaning against the other with his head. Humming at the kiss on his cheeks, yet very soon the whole moment changed. Softly pushing back, his breath getting pulled from him. It wasn’t one like they had shared before. This felt different. Way more different. Very softly nudging his nose as his heart thudded. ’I love you.’ He whispered ever so softly against the other his lips.

within you.

MONTY

❝ But despite it all, I was powerless ❞

And in that moment, the world seemed to melt away around him. His worries, his pain... It all became so little, as if they were no longer there. And if he could, he would stay in that moment. A moment of just some peaceful bliss. He had noticed the smile on the others face and he knew he forced that on himself in an effort to make him feel better. It was sweet that he did the effort, everything he did was so genuinely sweet... He really was something else. His mind wandered back to the intimate conversations they had had in Moonbright and on the boat. How he had gotten closer with him without even trying. At first calling the other attractive and handsome, because he really was. But that wasn't the reason why he had reached out for him. Shyam had become his safe haven without either of them realizing it. Every time when he had felt a bit uneasy the last few days he had looked out to the place where the other was. Whenever he wanted safety, had he tried to reach the other. It were slight things, a small gesture that no-one noticed. But he knew and that was all that mattered.

When their lips parted he opened his eyes. Gazing up at him for a moment, almost as if in awe by him. And he was, he always was. It was something that was always noticeable with him. How he looked at the other, the small glances at him whenever he had the opportunity to do so. A shimmer of admiration and genuine love for the man in front of him. And it was then that Shyam dared to speak those words to him. Those three little words. He blinked in surprise for a moment when it reached him. Confusion hitting him first. But that was mostly coming from a place of surprise. He hadn't anticipated to hear this... His mind was still completely out of it and his brain was perhaps a tiny bit slow, so if anything, it wasn't that odd that he responded the way he did. He looked so dumbfounded as he stared up at the other, as they were so close together. His surprise slowly fading away from his face.

Myrddin couldn't reply in words to him, he would never be able to. But that didn't matter. They didn't need any words or signs or whatever to make clear what they wanted to say. A sudden rush came over him, first starting from his chest and then making his was to his stomach. It was a weird somewhat burning, but sweet sensation that made him slightly nauseous... But it excited him, made him happy... And it drove him forward. Pushing himself past his limits he pushed himself more to the other, kissing him once more while trying to sit more upright. His hand moving to the back of the other as he tried to pull him in closer. He wanted him so close to him right now, he didn't care how fragile his body was. He needed it, he needed him.

There is greatness,

The moment changed into something else entirely, but this was something that they needed. Or that he needed, he wasn’t sure. But in this very moment he couldn’t care less. Everything that happened seemed to fade into this blissful feeling. His heart rushing in his chest as the emotions just engulfed him entirely. Everything came flooding to him, all the conversations, all those silly little events happening to them. Everything came down to this. His heart thudded loudly in his chest. Or that was how it felt. In this very instant he could scream out of happiness. But he didn’t, he stayed put. He stayed close to the other. Afraid he was going to lose him if he pulled away.

The words had flown out before he could stop himself. But from the moment he had seen the other being carried in here, he knew. He knew that this man was the center of his life. That without him he’d be lost, he’d be nothing. The reaction that came from the other made him bite his lip, uncertainty hitting him. Had he fucked up? Yet, it dawned on him that Myr wasn’t feeling okay still, so maybe he was just processing. But the surprise seemed to remain on the other his face. Making him swallow once more.

Something in the other his eyes did seem to shift, and it eased his mind. A smile curling around his lips, but before he noticed, he was being kissed again. Holding him close. He was being pulled closer and without thinking twice, he placed his knee on the side of the bed, leaning in closer. As he pressed him back down. ’Please be careful.’ A faint whisper, he wouldn’t let this get out of hand. But he couldn’t shoot him down just like that. ’Let’s take it easy hm? I don’t want to hurt you.’

within you.

MONTY

❝ But despite it all, I was powerless ❞

Perhaps the moment did change to some kind of passion, but Myrddin would be lying if he didn't admit that this was something he really liked. Just this sweet kind of gesture, the feeling of just being safe with him. If it was up to him he would have pulled the other with him in an instant, letting the rest of the moment unfold like he wanted to. But he was too weak to do so. His mind still messed up from everything that had happened. But this was intoxicating to him, it drowned out everything else and that was just what he needed. Something to keep him away from the pain and the confusion and those horrific memories. All that mattered was now. He wanted him so badly, it drove him to do things he normally wouldn't be able to do in his condition. Something he surely would regret.

He was very eager with his second kiss. He pushed himself up against Shyam, trying every way to get him more against him. But he was weak and his actions wouldn't be able to do much. If anything, the other was still in control. And he let that be known by pressing him back down. Their lips parted and Myrddin softly gasped for air, weakly panting as he looked at the other. Oh dear Lythrana... It was already insane how tired he felt even after something as stupid as this. He really was fragile. And Shy was all too aware of it, even voicing his concerns to him. The blonde man tilted his head a bit as he lifted his other hand. Carefully his fingers traced the others neck to his jaw, his eyes following his own motion before finally looking back at him. In that very moment he didn't think about what state he was in. All of this? It was driving him crazy.

But all of that soon faded when he tried to move himself. Not his upper body this time, but his legs and such. His face shifted instantly to one with shock as he gasped out for air. It was a searing pain that rushed up his body in an instant and forced tears in his eyes. The man let out something that sounded like whimper as his body started to shake again. He was really caught off guard by it. Perhaps because, as long as he hadn't moved it didn't hurt as much. But now that he had tried to force himself it really came back to bite him in the ass.

There is greatness,

It was clear enough, what Myr wanted. But Shy wouldn’t let it happen. Not in this state. Not that he didn’t want to but the other needed to be more okay again. It just couldn’t happen right now. It would make him feel like he was taking advantage and no. He simply couldn’t allow it. Instead he just stuck close enough. Feeling the warm breath roll over his skin. A shiver trailing down his own spine. As his skin was trailed by the other, he slightly tilted his head granting the other more room. Part of him ready to give in to his touch. His lips parting for a second, wanting to say something. But he was silenced by Myr trying to move.

Which made Shyam slowly back away a bit. Still keeping one of his hands placed on the man his side. Swallowing. ’Lay back down.’ He spoke sternly, yet with a softness that was almost unheard off. Worry appearing on his face. ’They gave me something against the pain. Let’s make that happen first okay?’ Shy whispered softly, standing back up. Reluctantly maybe, but if anything he wanted to take care of the other. Briefly bringing his hand to his cheek, smiling ever so softly. ’For once we actually need to behave.’ H scoffed.

within you.

MONTY

❝ But despite it all, I was powerless ❞

The pain forced everything back to reality. He had let go of the other as he tried to calm himself down. He still didn't quite know what had happened or what was even going on. But this pain, well, it did have a place. It was unpleasant and almost forced the air back out of him. But he desperately gasped for it at every opportunity he got. The man closed his eyes, trying to focus on his breathing as he forced his shaking body to calm down. Every movement felt like flames rolling over his body. Everything that had just happened, it seemed to vanish as quickly as it had happened. And it would have saddened him deeply, if he wasn't already dying from all this hellish pain in his lower body.

He could hear the other speak, lay back down and all that. He let out a soft sound, a very shallow painfilled sound. This was annoying... Oh so annoying. He didn't like it one bit. He wanted it to stop... If only things were so simple. Shyam spoke again, something against the pain...? But before he could do something, the other stood back up. The shifting of the bed forced another wave of pain down his body and he clenched his jaw as he gasped for air. He just kept his eyes closed, trying to focus on something so that he didn't have to endure this... Mute it somehow. But it didn't work. So he opened his eyes again, looking at the other with pleading eyes. Give it. Just give it to him. The soft gesture that touched his cheek made him whimper softly again. He was in so much pain.... It was driving him insane, but not in the good way.

Shyam tried to make the situation lighter and Myrddin really tried to enjoy his little joke... But it didn't matter how hard he tried, he wasn't able to force a smile on his face. He just whimpered again, his eyes filling with tears again as the pain was overwhelming him. This was stupid. This was all just so damn stupid. He didn't want this... It had to stop. Please.

There is greatness,

The other was in pain. Every little muscle in his face told him so. Which made Shyam feel bad. He had let this go on for too long and now the other was possibly in more pain than before. It tore him to pieces. Wishing he could help the other. Wishing he could carry the pain he was feeling. He felt himself getting sad again. Unsure what to do or say. There was only so much he could do to try and make it better. Step one was fixing up his pain relief. The rest could only be achieved by him being here with him.

He had tried to get off the bed as carefully as he could. But the mattress still shifted, possibly causing a world of hurt for the other. Making him swallow once more. The severity of it all, it hit him once more. Straight in the face. Yet the pleading look in his eyes told him more than enough. Preparing the little brew just like the physician had told him too. Letting the powder dissolve in cold water. Stirring it up. Cracking a god awful joke somewhere in between to lighten the mood again. But he failed. The smile that had caressed Myr's lips before was nowhere present at all. Making his heart falter.

Stepping back to him, bringing the glass to his lips. 'It's going to taste bitter. But it should give instant relief.' He sighed deeply. Holding up the glass so he could drink. Gradually lifting it, stopping each time it became too much.

within you.

MONTY

❝ But despite it all, I was powerless ❞

It honestly was awful to be this powerless. To be so dependant on someone. If his mind wasn't so hazy and his body wasn't in so much pain, he would probably cause a fuss about this. He was usually very stubborn about such things, mostly because of his history with it. By Lythrana it had been so awful back then, but at least the pain wasn't as bad as it was now. Maybe in a week or two he would already be up, back on his feet. With some healing magic, a lot could be achieved. So whatever it was, with a bit of time and some moon magic it would be over before he knew it. He just had to endure it... That was all.

His gaze drifted to Shyam as he was working on the medicine. He carefully followed every action he did, trying to keep his mind of that burning sensation. How his hands worked their own magic in preparing it. Stirring up the water while trying to make a joke. It was sad it didn't get to him, even if he tried. He just didn't feel well. And it was hard to force such things when it felt like your body was falling apart. A trembling sigh left his lips, some sort of stress relief from it all as he closed his eyes. He was already feeling so tired. Not that he could sleep with this pain... But something told him that he would doze off to sleep rather quickly once he got it in his system. Everything that had happened had overwhelmed him already. Laughable, to say the least, but what could he do about it...

When he heard movement he opened his eyes again. Shy approached him and he tried to move himself to sit upright, but failed again. Luckily for him, the other helped him. The glass was brought to his lips and he eagerly started to drink. Only now he noticed how thirsty he was. So while the other warned him, he was already halfway downing the drink. He hated the taste, but to fight this pain he really didn't mind. Before he knew it, he had drank it all. A bit rapid, perhaps, but who could blame him. He looked at the other for just a moment as he caught his breath. He had been right, he could already feel the potion do his magic. The pain started to ease up and with that the heavy breathing calmed down as well. Ah... He closed his eyes, letting out another sigh as he could feel it all wash away, slowly... But it was fast enough.

He could pass out, really, but something was still tugging at his mind. So... After a couple of minutes he looked back at the man. Slowly lifting his hands as he started to sign. 'Ezekiel,' was the first word he signed at Shy. 'Ok?' He paused for just a moment, before finally letting his hands down. Looking up at the dark haired man in anticipation. It hadn't gotten him... Right?

There is greatness,

Shyam focused on the task at hand. Remembering what the healers had stated, doing everything correctly to the dot. There was no room for error. This needed to work for the other to take the pain away. That was the simplicity of it all. With his tongue stuck between his teeth and his eyes fixated on the glass, he did the best he could. Honestly, it wasn’t rocket science. Just put it in the glass, stir it up, make sure that the brew was liquid enough to swallow down and that was it. But the knight did feel some kind of pressure, truly needed for nothing.

With how eager he started drinking it dawned on him that he hadn’t asked if he was thirsty. ~~The thirst had been for something else mere moments ago.~~ His eyes had fixated on the face of the blonde, a faint smile lingering. When the glass was emptied out he placed it to the side again, seeing some relief wash over Myr his face. Wish was a good thing for sure. He could only hope that this would last him for a little bit so that he could actually sleep. Sleeping was the best medicine after all.

The moment he started signing, was the moment his brows furrowed up. Why, out of all things, why would he ask about that idiot? It made Shyam tense up completely. Letting out a deep breath, which was the release of his anger in this moment. ’He’s ok.’ As far as he knew and could care about that bastard after he had done. ’Go to sleep hm?’ Focusing back on more important people.

within you.

MONTY

❝ But despite it all, I was powerless ❞

What would he have done if the other hadn't been here once he had woken up? He honestly didn't know. From the careful way he had hushed his panic to the gentle touches and caring ways he treated him. At this point, it was as clear as day... Yet it still didn't properly click for him. Perhaps if he was in a better state of mind, he would have carried the conversation somewhere else then the one person everyone would blame. And he felt really bad that that would be the case. So, in a way, it wasn't even asking about his physical well being. He had said some hurtful things, things he regretted. Things he wanted to take back. At the end of the day words could do more harm then people thought. And it concerned him. He didn't want this. He wanted to turn back time so that he could do things differently. If only he could...

When he saw how the other looked at him when he asked about Ezekiel, he averted his eyes. He could just sense how the other felt in that moment. Once again saying the wrong things at the wrong time. He really sucked at this, didn't he? When he heard that deep breath, he felt his stomach drop. Disappointment once again. He shouldn't have said anything. Shyam responded that he was okay, but Myrddin didn't look back up to him. Guilt slowly washing over him. Perhaps if he wasn't in this state of mind he could just shake it off. But it was so incredibly hard to do that right now. Everything just felt wrong and now that the pain had subsided, his mind had time to worry about such things.

Shyam suggested some sleep and he slowly looked back at the other. He looked at the others face for just a split second, before carefully reaching out his hand to his hand, trying to grab a hold of it. As his eyes started to shift to the gesture he was doing, he let out a soft sigh. His fingers trying to hold onto his. Weak and shaky, but not as bad as it had been before. He blinked slowly as he kept looking at it, before... Slowly, that tired feeling rolled over him. His blinking becoming more sluggish as he dozed off to sleep. And once he finally did, he lost grip on what he tried to reach for.