Picture perfect delusion

❝ I never asked to be like this ❞

Weddings and parties were things he despised with a passion. The music was always too loud, the people who attended always too much. Dress to impress, give it your all, be on your best behaviour. How could anyone see this as relaxing? For Louis this was just like working overtime. His brain was already expressing distress when he got ready. Normally he would stay at the university till late in the evening, but it was his duty to attend the wedding of his uncle. And even though people knew that he was the type to just work extra, it wouldn't be appreciated if he didn't show his face. He knew one person that would feel a bit saddened if he didn't show up. At least, that's what he thought. He never asked her if she was even going, but he presumed that she was. That morning he had wished her a good day before leaving, like he always did. Not even giving her a kiss or anything. Another restless night on the couch after he had gotten a bit tipsy while working in his office. He still had the decency to keep himself away from her and just had crashed where he always crashed. The dog had whimpered when he did and after a few hours he woke once more, only to remain that way for the rest of the night. It was a tiresome cycle, but that was life.

He had already seen the many people that had swarmed the castle when he had taken a side entrance to the castle. A sigh had left his lips as he went to their chambers. The first thing he did was freshen up. His body needed a wake-up call before he had to brace himself for what was to come. As he splashed the water in his face he slowly looked at the blurred out image in the mirror. He squinted for a moment, letting out a sigh as his hands rested against the table, supporting his upper body. If anything, he would love to go for a run or take a horse out and just ride through the streets of the upper ring. But he couldn't do that, not tonight. He clenched his jaw slowly, his useless eyes trailing off to the water below him. He hadn't even prepared anything fancy, because he never did. He was such a simple guy when it really came down to it. He shook his head slowly, lifting his hands slowly. As they sunk into the cold liquid once more, he cupped them, allowing him to splash his face once more. Over and over. Trying to wash away all of those feelings and displeasing thoughts. Sadly for him, it didn't make a difference.

And then... He had finally found something that did work. He had grasped back at that bottle he always kept in the room. Some of his favourite whiskey. He clung onto that thing as if it was his life-support sometimes. And could anyone really blame him? The stress and negative thoughts that filled his brain almost made him immobile. How was he supposed to function like that, let alone thrive and show his best behaviour? All he did was get a boost, a head start as one would say. Nothing more. He let out a sigh of relief as the burning sensation warmed him, giving him some courage he had missed earlier in the day. Beside. No-one would notice. The party was already filled with alcoholic and strong smells, so one would really have to come close to him to smell it on his breath. He slowly got back to action, grabbing a towel as to properly dry himself off. He put his glasses back on and just grabbed the first good, simple black suit he could find and put it on. Pouring himself another glass of alcohol, he quickly did his hair as he emptied it once more. This would be over before he knew it. He was sure of that. Life moved at such incredible speed after all.

He stepped in on the party at an easy pace. His presence not really being noticed by anyone. He wasn't really anything to look up to or turn heads for. As he silently stepped forward he observed some of the attendants. It would seem the evening was moving along nicely. Matthew must be happy that so much attention was averted to him, since he was such an attention whore after all. He let out a soft sigh as he rolled his eyes a bit. He couldn't understand him, but then again, he had a lot of trouble understanding anyone. As his bright blue eyes moved over the room, they finally stopped at one person. He came to a halt, turning himself to her and excusing himself between some people to get to her. As he nodded at some men clearly not appreciating his action, he finally looked at her, holding out his hand at her, bowing his head a bit. "Zoey," He said softly. "You look... Beautiful..." He tried to mutter out, clearing his throat softly as he finally lifted his gaze to meet hers. She had been his wife for two years now... And yet it still felt so wrong. "I- I'm sorry... I was working late again," He said as he stepped a bit closer to her, his eyes shimmering with some sort of sadness. "Let me make it up to you with a dance," Where did he even get that confidence? He sucked at dancing and they both knew that. Well... It would seem the whiskey did his job.

We could just slow down time

The wedding. It was something she had looked forward to. Zoey had always enjoyed these kinds of things. Mainly just to see her family again or to converse with other people. Did she hold out hope of an actual dance with her husband? Always. But she wasn’t quite sure if he would do the effort of actually showing up. Which would make her sad to say the least. But they hadn’t discussed it. If anything, what did they discuss? Their wedding was based on what? The actual ceremony that happened a year ago? After that.. No real conversation was ever held between them. Which was the saddest thing. She kept trying however, trying to grow closer to the man she had learned to love over time. That was the saddest part. That she genuinely loved him, not that he had ever given her a reason to. But here she was nonetheless, holding out hope for what most women would already have seen as a lost cause.

Nonetheless, she was looking forward to it. Which was why she had already hand picked out a stunning dress. While she usually wasn’t a fan of bigger and bolder options in ways of dressing. For this she had opted to go all out. Only to recycle the dress later on. She wasn’t one to go out and get a new dress for every other occasion that was too tiresome. She had a job after all. One that needed all her energy in the end. For her hair she had kept it rather simple, simplicity was the most beautiful thing after all. In her opinion at least. She was quite sure that other people would outshine her in the way she was dressed as well. But hey, at least some effort was put into it.

While she had opted to wait for her husband, she had gotten ready earlier. So in all fairness she had just left. Sitting in on the ceremony, eventually moving to the party. Where she simply conversed with some people about nothing really important. But just striking up a conversation. Every once in a while glancing into the room in the hopes to spot her husband. A subject she avoided in every conversation she got herself into, simply because she didn’t know. By Renestrae, what kind of wife was she actually? Not even having the slightest idea of the whereabouts of her spouse. Just when that realization was hitting her; he appeared in front of her. Making her swallow the burst of emotions she was feeling away again.

The brunette blinked in surprise, a smile curling around her lips as she placed her hand in his. Soon locking eyes with him. Which made her feel all kinds of things. Good things. A slight blush creeped up on her face. ’It’s okay. I’m glad you could make some time. Don’t worry, it’s okay.’ The woman whispered ever so softly, stepping closer to him as well. Giving a little squeeze in his hand. The moment she had stepped closer and he had asked for a dance was the moment it hit her. The smell of whiskey. Not even a little bit by the smell of it. Which made her swallow.. Right, there was nothing heartfelt about this then? Another blow to the woman. ’I would love to dance.’ A nod followed, shortly standing on her tippy toes. Placing a kiss on his cheek. ’Thank you for coming.’

Dress

Let me adore you.

MONTY

❝ I never asked to be like this ❞

What was he doing? He knew all too well that he sucked at dancing. He would make a fool out of himself and even worse, out of her. Yet, somewhere, in the back of his mind, he wanted to believe that he could give her this. That interaction that all other lovers had on this forsaken party. And by the gods, how ironic such statement was from him. After all, when had he ever given her anything? He didn't touch her, didn't share love with her, barely even spoke to her. He avoided her like the plague, as if she had done something wrong. But he knew that... If someone was to blame for their weird relationship, it was him. And they said that realizing you had a problem was the first step to fixing it. Well, he had faced it for over a year now and there was still no progress to be seen. If anything, they were further apart than ever before. If it wasn't for those rings, they both had on their fingers, they would be nothing more than strangers. And that realization made him feel so... So sad. Because despite their distance, he still couldn't picture a day without her. It scared him to lose her. There were so many better men out there than him. She could get so much better. He only had his name after all...

She smiled at him, and he slowly smiled back at her. Her hand found his as he slowly closed his fingers around hers. Fragile and delicate as always, he made sure not to be rough. Knowing his own strength all too well... It was better for him to hold a bit back before he went too far. When he saw that slight blush on her cheeks, however, he averted his eyes. Not knowing how to come face to face with such an expression. She spoke, words that were said to assure him. For not being close, whatsoever, she knew him damn well. And it was kind of scary that she did. She knew just what to say, just what to do. And it terrified him. And then, she stepped closer. He swallowed slowly, trying to push away his nerves as his blue eyes went back to hers. He didn't even notice how she seemed to pick up on the smell of his breath, which made her posture shift ever so slightly. He had always been such an estranged man when it came down to social and emotional situations. So, was it really odd that he didn't pick up on this too? No... It wasn't.

He nodded at her when she gave her response. The action afterwards made him slowly tilt his head a bit to the side. Not being able to meet her gaze when her lips had touched his cheeks. Yet, a rushing feeling came from his chest and rolled all the way up, almost choking him out. Forcing him to be quiet and his body to stiffen up. She thanked him and all he could do was nod once more. Slowly moving his body as he guided her to the dance floor. His eyes peered over the people as he saw how the last song came to an end. The couples made their final moves, before eventually parting and reading themselves for the next dance. Louis looked at some of them, before finally turning to his wife. His blue gaze meeting hers but slipping away as quickly as they had intertwined. He cleared his throat, placing his free hand on her hip as he let his fingers roll into hers with the other. He looked at their hands for a moment, feeling tension rise in his chest as the music started to well up... And he had to start moving. He had to lead... Right? Oh... He hated this.