tequila sunrise

It'll be fine by dusk light I'm telling you, baby. These things eat at your bones and drive your young mind crazy. But when you place your head between my collar and jaw. I don't know much but there's no weight at all. And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't. 'Cause if I say I miss you I know that you won't. But I miss you in the mornings when I see the sun. Something in the orange

tells me we're not done

Oh, how he loved to be back home. Ezekiel had thrived in Moonbright for the few blissful days he had been there. He had drunk himself to shambles on the Lunar Moth festival, so much he barely remembered if he had been there at all, or if he had just taken the wrong exit somewhere along the way. Well, it probably had been fun, because he had woken up in someone else's bed. But whatever, if he couldn't remember it, it probably hadn't happened, right?

The young Vylasar had spend a few more days in the city, talking with the people, learning so much about common folk. What the best places were to get the juiciest prunes, the best places to gamble, the best places for warm company. He didn't went to the last place, honestly, he thought. But it were the last gulps of lively air he had gotten, before he had to return to the fishbowl that was home. Even the journey on the ship could not lift his spirits, as he had to return to the place that felt more and more like a prison. And for what? Why was he not allowed to just.. go. He was not a boy anymore. And maybe that was why he had to return home, if only he knew what was waiting for him.

The first morning he roused very early. And without really thinking, he had grabbed his staff and went to an completely empty training courtyard, still darkened by the deep blue ocean above his head. He did not even know if the sun was up yet, it usually took a while before the sun rays pierced through the water. He wanted to practice summoning again, if only it was for a short while. But before he could even twist his staff, a young boy came running towards him, barely thirteen years old. He remembered him, he had found this orphan boy on the streets and without thinking recruited him into his squad. He did not have many talents, was still growing quickly and did not know what to do with his skinny and lanky legs. But Yves was a good boy, and he deserved a place to feel safe. So Ezekiel just smiled and rubbed the dark-haired boy through his hair and offered him to train with him. They spend the early hours going through basic stands and some hand-to-hand combat, totally forgetting about his staff and Kenai.

When it was time for breakfast, he patted the boy on the back and send him on his way. The sun was up now, emitting a dim glow over the courtyard. He had felt energized by the boy. To see him smile again was a award already. Ezekiel stretched his arms above his head, also loosening the muscles between his shoulders. He went to a barrel with water and splashed some water in his face and brushed some through his hair. He just reached behind his neck, when he saw the reflection of a blonde head in the barrel. Ezekiel leaned on his hands, his face down over the water. ‘‘What?’’ he asked to his cousin and when he looked up, their eyes crossed. Ezekiel was already annoyed, because with only his presence, Myrddin had ruined his perfectly happy morning.

❝ I'll never be that me again ❞

Dear Lythrana he had done it now.

Their trip back home had been a wild one to say the least. But the things he had done on that ship... Well... Those things could never be known by anyone. But for someone like Myrddin that was quite the difficult task. He was a very emotional individual. So for something so intense and so passionate he had a hard time pushing it to the back of his mind. He cherished it, because of course he did. It made him realize that he really was thankful for him being in his life, so close and always within reach. Even now as he was walking down the stairs he couldn't help himself but show a gentle smile. Shyam wasn't here with him right now, as he had asked him to go... Do something else. Not that he didn't want him around him, cause that was exactly what the problem was. He wanted him so close to him to the point where he felt so lonely when he wasn't. But now that he was back in the underwater city, such desires shouldn't be the top of his priorities. He put a hand over his lips as he tried to hold himself from smiling even wider. He was thinking about him again. Why... This became quite problematic. He really had to stop before it became too much.

It was a wise decision of him to simply skip breakfast and risking to face his family. If anyone saw how much he was smiling, they surely would be asking questions. Because that was not the blond boy they knew. Usually held back with a sober expression, it was rare to see him happy. Especially here, in the place where everything that had ever gone wrong in his life had taken place. It was.... Quite interesting how one thing could suppress so much painful memories. The most powerful magic of them all even. Yet now, with his head in the clouds, he should realize what he was setting himself up for. His own downfall would soon follow, he knew that much. But every time when he tried to reason with himself, sum up how this would never be anything, that one feeling just bolted through his head. It made him feel so anxious, but also so happy. It was one of the most exciting things he had ever experienced. Joyful, yet scary. He looked at his hands for a moment as he started to fiddle with some of his rings, a small smile kept on his lips. He felt so stupid right now, but he couldn't help it. He hoped no guards would join Shyam tonight, because he already knew what he wanted to do with him. If his schedule would allow it today, he would get it ready. He bit his lip for a moment as he shook his head. Focus Myrddin, first work, then other matters.

The man walked out of the grand mansion, his grey eyes slowly lifted to the water above them. It was a lovely day to say the least and his already positive attitude only became better because of it. Alright... What did he have to do again today...? Uhm, look over some matters with his right hand man, then go for some meetings with some guards and look over- He slowly blinked as he tilted his head, his focus had settled on what was going on on the training grounds. Ezekiel was already back? Since when? Was he already back before him? Must be, because he hadn't heard anything about it during a short briefing this morning. He moved a bit closer as he looked at them, but sadly it seemed like the young boy and his cousin were already done with their training. The sorcerer sent the other on his way while he seemed to refresh himself a little bit. The captain looked at his brother for a moment, before looking over at the young boy that was leaving. As soon as the other saw him, he looked a bit surprised. As soon as he and the boy made eye contact, he looked away. His eyes darting back at Ezekiel as if he wanted some support from him. Myrddin suppressed a sigh for a moment. Was he even surprised by that bewildered look on his face? He had a reputation of being way too strict for his own good. Always striving for that perfection and all that. The young boy turned his head back at him, bowed his head and quickly passed him. He didn't even get the chance to greet him back, that was how fleeting the moment was. He looked at the ground for a moment, before shaking his head. It was... Fine.

He placed his hand on his neck as he loosened up his shoulders a bit, focusing himself a bit more. His fluttering mind had to settle down for a bit, as he did have some things to ask of his brother. He just hoped he could keep himself collected while talking to the other. Ezekiel had a habit of dragging out the worst in him. And he knew he didn't hate him, but he also knew that he couldn't allow himself to let his guard down. The other would surely take opportunity in such things. So... When Myrddin stepped forward and his eyes went to the others back, he could already hear his voice. The sorcerer blinked in surprise, but as soon as he turned around and looked at him, he couldn't help but slowly nod at the other. He raised his hands a bit as he slowly started to sign; 'How was training?' He asked, before pausing. 'With the boy?' He didn't even know his name, but it would be impossible to know each and every one of them. At least for him. He was horrible with names. Faces yes, but names. No... he was never great with those. Myrddin averted his eyes for a moment as he tried to find the right words to ask the other. He knew exactly what he had to ask him, but he also knew that it would hurt the other. Social skills really weren't his strong point. Those were more the others thing. Smooth talking and all that kind of stuff. Getting under peoples skin without much effort also was part of that list. No... Myrddin was too blunt, sadly enough. He most likely could never find the right words to hurt someone, nor could he ever show the right things to say what he meant, even when it was meant in a well meaning way...

After some time, he looked back at Ezekiel, sighing as if some weight was lifted off his shoulders. There really was no pretty way to put this, but on the other hand he had no real business with it. Okay maybe he did a little bit. He was supposed to be head of the family one day, was he not? And on top of that... This was also partially in concern to the guards. So... After some time, he lifted his hands again. 'How is your summoning going?'

some children are simplyborn with tragedy in their blood

Ezekiel had not heard or seen Myrddin coming until the last moment. He should not have let his guard down so easy, but it was so early in the morning he almost had expected that nobody would bother him. Of course there would always be somebody bothering him if they got the chance, especially in his family home. Myr even forced him to look at him, because he had to sign to him to able to respond. Well, at least he was not using his mighty beasty today. They exchanged a look and Ezekiel dried his hands slowly on his pants, before giving them a little shake in the air. Myr asked about training with the boy. A small frown was on his brow when he looked to the side where Yves had disappeared to. Ezekiel looked back at Myrddin and gave a small shrug. Ezekiel really wanted to say something like "why do you care?" or maybe even more blunt "mind your own business". But Ezekiel bit on the inside of his lip for a second, before answering the least neutral way. ‘‘Okay. He tries really hard,’’ he told his cousin. It was true, the boy was a good kid. He might not have the making of a great warrior in him, but he had willpower. Something Ezekiel was lacking in. Maybe he'd had it in the past, but slowly giving up had become his adult life.

They remained silent for a while again - well, he at least, Myr never produced noise - almost expecting Myr to challenge him in some way. And oh yes, it came. Ezekiel's eyes widened as his cousin had the audacity to ask about his summoning. He took a quick glance at the staff he had taken with him in the early morning, now being abandoned. The tension on his jaw started to raise and he glared back at Myrddin. Why could he never just mind his own damn business. ‘‘Shut up,’’ Ezekiel responded to him, really trying to not start shouting at him. For now he just sounded really annoyed, trying to stop the urge to hit him in the face. So Ezekiel just did what he usually did when problems found him: walk away. In a way, he was just like his cousin, but their troubles were vastly different. Myr knew exactly what was going on with his familiar and he had no business to bring it up, apart from getting him on edge. He would not allow him to. So he walked towards his staff to get the hell away from here.

NC

❝ I'll never be that me again ❞

He was in a good mood, a really good mood even. And he had felt brave enough to say the things he wanted to say, despite knowing damn well that it would be better to leave the mess they had for what it was; broken and messed up. It was better to cover it up and forget about it entirely. But that was not how it worked. And perhaps Myrddin was the one person who knew all too well how much something like that could hurt. After all, a voice was needed everyday, especially in his position. How much he tried to cover it up, how much he tried to get better in other fields, it would never excuse his handicap. It would never be good enough. Had he found peace with it? No, something like that felt impossible, way out of reach. But when it came to the other's magic, it was something they could work on. It wasn't like he didn't have anything at all or wasn't skilled at all. In Ezekiel case it was a matter of being too powerful for his own good. But how could he ever become better if he never tried? How could he ever heal and adjust when he didn't give it a shot? Myrddin felt his jaw tense up when he thought about it. In so many ways it felt like a familiar encounter, but then with himself. As he tried to speak in front of a mirror, over and over, never giving up. Hiding those little attempts as if it was his greatest secret... It was just sad to think about. Because, brutally said, it would never work. And yet, he still didn't give up. It made him... A bit upset when he looked at his brother, he threw it all to the side as if it was nothing. Struggle was an essential part of growth. Effort and pain a necessary key in building yourself up. He was upset that he didn't see the same mindset in him. Jealousy, on some levels. Disappointment on other.

He had listened to the other when he spoke of the boy. He didn't even know the kids name and yet he asked. Myrddin nodded slowly, averting his eyes for a moment at the ground. He felt like he should tell him something. Maybe a I'm glad you are helping him or something. It was good that Ezekiel was doing his job, after all. He had noted that he could get a bit... Not necessarily lazy, but just distant. But with his cousin those things weren't that strange. He had felt like the silver haired man was just on a completely different level of just... Being. And that made it hard to understand what was going through him. In Myrddin's mind the man was just out to get him, because his way of speaking and acting just all pointed in the same direction; a certain degree of aversion. They didn't like each other. He would never lie about that fact. But that didn't mean the blonde man didn't care at all. It was his curse, mostly, to care so deeply. Not only to feel so many things so very deeply, but also to just... Care. Not in a way that empathy was shown, but more in a way where he didn't want others to feel like he had felt before. Useless, lost, ... At a certain point in your life you just hit that low and perhaps it was necessary for someone to experience it. Then why did he feel so bad when he saw it...? Looking at Ezekiel, his family or even himself in the mirror. Why was there always that sad undertone that just never seemed to leave? Were they bound to suffer such lingering negativity? Maybe that just came with the name they carried with so much pride.

So... When he eventually spoke up, it was meant in a more... Concerned way then a pushy one. He was concerned, of course he was. But when one couldn't speak, tone and emotion were lost in communication rather quickly. It really came from a place of good intend, not only as his superior, but also as his brother. But it would seem that the other didn't see it that way. Myrddin tried to fight the pain filled expression that quickly went over him. But just like most of the time he could keep his neutral posture. He looked at Ezekiel who turned away from him, walking to his staff. The sorcerer looked at the other for a moment, weighing his option swiftly. This issue had to be spoken about. They couldn't keep avoiding it. How long had it been since Ezekiel practised? How long would it take to get him to preform again? What if he needed it, used it, and backfired on him? What if he got injured because he couldn't fall back on his familiar? What if he ended up dying... Because of it all? He took a deep breath as his mind rapidly went over each and every scenario. It hadn't been a necessity, yet... But what if it was one in the future? He hated the other, sure, he couldn't stand him one bit. Ezekiel was only out for himself, after all... But would he really put the others safety at risk for his own bias? No. No, he wouldn't.

The captain grabbed the staff of his own back and quickly moved forward, preforming the dance that instantly summoned Maeve. In a blazing blue fire she appeared, bursting from the magic that came from his own fingertips, blending together with his staff and creating life once more. As the fire and magic faded in an instant, they made place for her dark blue feathers, shaping more and more into the huge bird that was his familiar. The celestial beast spread her wings, displaying the many magical shapes and lights that lived in her very being, before moving herself forward. Elegantly, yet with certain speed, she swooped downwards from where she had been summoned. Her wings folding in as she grabbed the staff of the other with her long talons. Her body moved upwards as she clenched her claws around it, gaining altitude once more. Her shining eyes looking down on the field below her. Myrddin slowly blinked as he took a deep breath, a sigh leaving his lips. He decided to take a step back, bringing his arm upwards as he did. Maeve instantly moved in perfect sync to her master, moving in a downwards spiral as she landed on him, one claw still holding onto the staff of the other. The blonde man nodded for a moment, placing his own on his back, before taking the wooden thing over from her. The celestial bird restored her posture as soon as she could use her two talons, moving herself more on the shoulders of her master. "We will practice, it is necessary," She said as he simply lifted the staff up, holding it out to the other. No more running away.

some children are simplyborn with tragedy in their blood

As soon as Ezekiel had his back turned towards his cousin, he could hear the steps he took and in an instant he knew what would follow. Ezekiel closed his eyes and faltered in his steps for a second, but he squared his shoulders and continued. He had no appetite for Myr and his showing of. He kept on moving, absently cracking the knuckles to release some of the tension he was feeling. Or simply preparing himself to hit Myr in the face if he was up to something stupid. He could barely think it, or the bird had it's claws on his staff. He could barely believe what he was seeing, before he balled his fists and turned around with an angry glare on his face. ‘‘What do you think you are doing?’’ he hissed at his cousin. His familiar landed on his arm and Ezekiel rolled his eyes as Myr just took his staff from him. Well, if he wanted, he could simply try. But no, he just had to get cocky again, using his mouthpiece to tell him that they should train. That it was necessary.

Who was he to think what he needed? Who was he to think that he tell him what to do? Ezekiel snatched his staff back from his hand and he looked straight up at him, piercing his two different colored eyes defiantly into his. ‘‘No,’’ he said simply. The nerve on this guy was really otherworldly. He twisted his staff in his hand and could almost feel the power tremble though the wood already. That alone could raise the hairs on his neck as Ezekiel firmly pressed his hands around it, turning his knuckles white. ‘‘Bore somebody else with your party-tricks,’’ he told him bitterly.

So Ezekiel moved forwards and pushed his shoulder against his cousin as he moved past him. Would he just not leave him alone? Myr did always have the annoying habit to stick his nose into everybody's business. But oh no, if somebody did it with him, he would run away. The hypocrite. He had no idea what he was messing with. Ezekiel would not do it. The risks were way too big. He could really hurt him, but Myr was too arrogant to realize that. He thought he was the talented, all mighty heir of Lythrania.

NC

❝ I'll never be that me again ❞

There was a reason for this, of course there was. He never did things without much reason, unless he was angry... Or pissed off... Then he just made stupid decisions. But the blonde man wasn't feeling anything like that. For the first time in a really long time he genuinely felt happy. Although, Ezekiel really was working his magic again by annoying him to no end. But his tolerance went hand in hand with his mood. So he acted out in the best possible way he could think of. He didn't know that it would be more agitating to him then anything else. The young man barely had any social experience and... Well, he just wasn't a social butterfly. He just wished that whatever he was doing, would come across as well intended to his brother. But if he knew something about the other, it was that nothing was good enough when it came to the 'heir of Lythrania'. A title he both despised, but also the only thing that kept him going, kept him here. If only the other knew that he would have been long gone if it wasn't for the purpose. He didn't need this family if he lost his title. Because if he lost that... Then what? Then he would just be another stupid mute boy. He couldn't let that happen. He already... Worked so hard for it all to be in vain.

But Ezekiel just hissed at him, clearly annoyed. Something he narrowed his eyes at. Maeve did the same, but clearly with much more distaste then he did. She never really liked the boy, but whenever he acted like this... Those were the moments that hate really shimmered through. And as he held his staff out to the other a clear answer was brought to him; no. Myrddin stared down at the other for a moment, feeling the one word jab through his heart like a dagger. No. Why was it always no. Why was it always negative...? Why couldn't they just be okay for once. Why couldn't he... Be like he was with that kid just earlier. What had he done wrong here? All he did was press on, state it was important -which it really was- and- It still wasn't enough. Did he not understand the other...? Was there a barrier he constantly seemed to miss? But before he could do anything, the other went on. Commenting on his party tricks. A comment that didn't really get to him all that much, but it clearly got to Maeve. He could feel her mood shift in an instant and he clenched his jaw in preparation. Her emotions overflowing to him, just like they did when he was overwhelmed. It was rare to have it this way, but it happened. Ezekiel really never showed her any respect... Even though she tried. By Lythrana, she wasn't amused.

The angry expression on the celestial beasts face didn't change. And when the other pushed up against him, Myrddin was forced to take a step back as he didn't want to push back at the other and agitate him even more. However, Maeve had other plans. The bird spread her wings and let out an angry sound that was more akin to what a parrot made naturally. The blonde man turned his head at her, trying to calm her. But she already jumped of his shoulder and took off. A sigh leaving his lips. Dammit. The dark coloured creature landed on the ground in front of the other, looking up at him with her piercing white eyes. "Hold your tongue about party tricks, boy," she said, clearly agitated. Okay, that was enough. Myrddin stepped forward, already holding up his hand to make her disappear. "You don't even have the right to comment on our magic when you can't even control it," The creature went on. "How can you call yourself a summoner if you don't even practice it's magic, you might as well no-" And with a flick of his hand he made the creature disappear in pure blue flames and smoke. Myrddin held his breath for a moment as he blinked in surprise, looking at where she had been, before looking at the back of his brother. Those really weren't his words... He knew that right? A frown came on his face as he quickly ran past the other, holding up his hands as he quickly signed. 'That wasn't me' Even he knew that went too far. He paused for a moment, not knowing what to say or do in that moment. Because he knew what Maeve wanted to say. And it made him... Sad.... Because deep down he had thought about it too. But he always knew that wasn't how he thought about him really... Right...?

some children are simplyborn with tragedy in their blood

Ezekiel truly had tried to walk away from it. Because Myr did not know the reason why he did not summon anymore. He would never understand, the golden bot with his raw talent. It would never be difficult for him, because he did not have to think about it. He thought it was about practice, but it was not. It was something way more difficult than that, and he had never or would ever have to deal with it. His familiar was no fighter, it had not the feral drive as Kenai had. Maeve was more human than animal at this point. Controlling a beast that manifested on his own darkest thoughts and deepest insecurities was.. impossible. The bear had tasted blood, it had known how to fight and to protect it's master. And when he had became acquainted with his own power, it had become an uphill battle for the sorcerer. The beast no longer needed him, he could sharpen his claws on his own. So Ezekiel did the only thing he knew how to control the animal, and that was to contain him within. Myr had no idea how much strength only that took. No, he thought him weak. The younger one could read it in the eyes of his cousin.

And the bird said it out loud. Ezekiel gave an annoyed grunt when it blocked his way and he looked back at his cousin. On final look, one final warning. One final.. plead. Please, do not make me do this. He did not want to hurt him. He did not want to create havoc in the courtyard, make a mess when Kenai would inevitably go on a rampage. But the bird started to speak more, and Ezekiel just feel himself snap. She was taunting him, deliberately provoking him. She wanted to see him summon? Did he really have to prove himself a Vylasar? Ezekiel's knuckles turned white as he clutched the staff even stronger. ‘‘Shut u-’’ he grunted, trying to interrupt the bird, but it just kept on talking. Until she started calling him out as not the summoner and Ezekiel exhaled sharply as he glared at it. And than she just dissipated. Ezekiel's breathing was heavier now as he tried to muster control. But the bear was already crawling underneath the surface, begging to be released, craving to take advantage of the situation, capitalizing on his master's anger. Ezekiel could feel the energy surging through his staff, into his body, to his mind. It was intoxicating to feel the raw power and how he could use it. To rewrite the wrongs done to him. He could protect himself to this abuse, with only the flick of his staff.

Ezekiel was still looking at the ground as Myr appeared in front of him, he saw the wave of his hands, trying to somehow blame the bird for this. He would not fool him? He knew what a familiar was. It did not come up with those thoughts all by itself. It lived inside Myr's head. It was him. ‘‘Don't-’’ Ezekiel started something, but it was nothing more than an angry growl at this point. It was if like the bear was already at the surface, forcing his way out of his master's mouth. Myr wanted to see him summon, right? Well, it was not like he did not warn him. So he raised his arm trembling, bringing the staff vertical, and then slamming it down to the ground with a force. And as soon as he started to speak the spell in the ancient language of Lythrana, the ground started to tremble.

And from below his staff the bear started to emerge from the ground. Silvery swirls that as a whirlpool started to expand further and further. Ezekiel had to step back as from the swirls a roar emerged and the head of a bear with open jaws appeared. It was like the wind currents suddenly existed in Lythrania, in their dome under the sea. The body of the bear became solid and the swirls ended as the grizzly bear now was fully completed, already a huge lump of thick fur and hard muscle. It's eyes glowed feral as it locked on it's target and he raised to his hind paws as he roared again, drool lolling from his parted lips, a sharp row of teeth exposed. Ezekiel had unknowingly to himself braced himself, and when he looked at the bear towering above him, he felt... good. He felt nothing but what felt like unlimited power surging through his hands. The sorcerer panted as he looked back at Myrddin and he felt as tall as Kenai, standing between them. With a thump he landed back on four legs and without hesitation started to move towards his cousin. And at this point the familiar had already taken over from his master and was going for the one that had been taunting his mind all this time.

NC

❝ I'll never be that me again ❞

He knew he was in the wrong here, because those words should have never been spoken, by anyone. He hated himself for even thinking such things, for being like this, for hating him purely out of a certain jealousy that he still couldn't place properly. All this internalized dislike for one person. It was just so fucked up. Because a duality inside of him always raged on. He still called him his brother, even after all those years of hate and fights. Why did he still call him his brother...? When everyone around him classified them by how they were born. His nephew, not his mothers child. It was something Aurelia had always made clear. And Myrddin could barely remember, but he would always compensate without even knowing. It didn't matter that he wasn't born from the same parents as him, because as kids... Such things were just trivial. As little boys things had seemed so simple. And hanging onto the simplicity, it all remained. The whole reason why he still cared, why he wanted to try, despite all his fears of not being good enough. Despite his fears of him. The one who could steal it all away. He didn't know what he could anticapte of him. Because they had drifted so far apart. He was a storm in the distance and he wasn't sure if he could ever navigate it.

Myrddin sensed his anger pretty quickly and he blinked in surprise. Usually he was the one losing his temper. The funny thing was, that that temper of his had been the starting point of this whole disaster that they called a family bond. He had ruined it all by being selfish, impulsive and straight up stupid. And as he had gotten older, he still hadn't changed. He tried to fix what he had done, but it didn't work. He messed up again, didn't he? He averted his gaze for a moment, looking at the estate, but quickly glancing back at his brother. The response to his sign was brutal and short, almost inhumane. The blonde man held his breath as he clenched his jaw. The magic that seemed to surge was one he could recognize, but it was more overwhelming then what he had experienced before. He blinked rapidly as his eyes went from the other to his staff and back. He frowned just for a moment, lifting his hand slowly as he tried to sign again. 'I'm sorry,' But in that very moment, when the world seemed to become so very loud, his silent language completely evaporated in meaning. There were no hand waves or gestures that could make up for the hurtful things that had slipped his mind. He hated that this really had to be his voice; either a silent one or... a manifestation of his most inner being, someone he hated through and through. How he wished he wasn't like this. How he wished he was a better person, if only just for today.

When Ezekiel used his magic, he had to take a few steps back. His gaze going up to the magic slowly turning into flesh before his eyes. He blinked in surprise, his eyes widening as he looked onto the scene. It had been a while since he's seen the other summon... A very long time even. They had only been kids back then. Maeve still a fledgling and Kenai a cub. But times had changed the both of them. And where his familiar had become a stunning intelligent creature, Ezekiel had manifested himself a true horrid creature. As wind swirled past him he looked over the thing taking more shape. He could feel the energy coming off both summoner and beast and... He started to tremble. He was... He- His eyes went to his hands as he noticed how they started to shake. His entire body screaming to get out of her. Run. Yet... he couldn't. Fear kept him pinned down where he was as he saw the monster finalize in shape, his true form finally revealed.

The glowing gaze was quickly fixated on him and he froze again. He could feel the hair on his arms raise up as his breathing heightened. His entire body on alert. Not only because of this, but also because of the surge of magic. And then the bear rose up, standing at it's full length and letting out a roar. Myrddin took another step back, looking up at the beast with big round eyes. Well. He had seen it now. He could do it, there was a celestial beast in front of him... The young man slowly averted his gaze to look at Ezekiel for a moment. A sliver of hope in the back of his mind that that would just be it. He would tell Kenai to call it a day and they would all be on their way, everyone happy. But that was wishful thinking, even he knew that. He knew all too well what anger did to a person. This was his fault...

The bear came on its all fours and this movement made the blonde man jump a little, taking another step back in the motion. His eyes focused back on Kenai. He stared at him with wide eyes as the beast approached him. His mind just went blank as he stared at his own demise. What.... He slowly blinked as he took another step back and another... Until his back was up against the wall. He gasped for air when he realized that, there really was no way out. His gaze, which was filled with a certain fear, widened even more. As an animal staring blankly into it's own doom filled destiny. He quickly looked around, forgetting everything that he had learned through the years as a soldier, a warrior... A captain. It all vanished as soon as he came face to face with brutal mortality. It filled his very being with pure fear.

And when he was finally able to move, he grabbed his spear with shaking hands. Pulling the weapon from his back and holding it in front of him as he tried to keep his thoughts straight... And look for a way out. He couldn't think about all that now if he wanted to make it out. He had to focus, he had to- He-... He needed-

some children are simplyborn with tragedy in their blood

By Lythrana, this felt amazing. Ezekiel could barely think straight, he could just see his familiar in front of him. The full potential of his power. Once, they had been the closest of friends, boy and cub, playmates till the end. They would wrestle and achieve mischief together. But now the bear had grown, and it was the most intimidating sight he had ever behold. And it was his, it was him. Ezekiel panted as he kept hold of his staff, his knuckles white as the bear made the ground tremble. Ezekiel stood behind it, just in awe of the beast that was once his friend. But he soon noticed that it barely took note of him. Kenai was on the hunt the moment he was released from his prison. And he reveled in it, the freedom, the smell of fear in the air. He felt unstoppable, and it surged back into Ezekiel's veins. But that overpowering feeling soon turned to fear as well. Yes, he was unstoppable, and that was the problem. It was like Ezekiel snapped back to reality when he saw that Kenai had already backed up Myr against a wall.

‘‘Kenai!’’ he yelled at the beast while his voice broke. He stepped forward, trying to warn the animal. It had to stop. Ezekiel desperately tried to connect with the animal, but he only was met with a raging storm. It were it's darkest thoughts lied in front of him. The jealousy, the grieve, the longing for a place to belong. Ezekiel frowned and raised his hands up to his temples as he staggered back again. Kenai was so much stronger than he was, and he was on a mission. He wanted to protect his master, but do to that, he had to overcome his master. And in comparison with the bear, Ezekiel was nothing but a twig.

Kenai looked unimpressed as the enemy raised his weapon to him. The bear was still toying with his prey, nothing like what a grizzly would do in the wild. But this was not a wild animal after all, it was a manifestation of it's master. And it had grown feral. He grabbed the spear between his teeth and snapped it between his jaws if it was just a toothpick. The parts were dropped between them on the ground and Kenai prowled even more forward, shifting his huge paws over the floor. Somewhere in the distance he could hear Ezekiel screaming. Why stop? He would teach this boy a lesson, what would happen if you challenged him. Don't try to defy me.

And then the bear charged. Once more he raised himself on his hind legs and then struck with his front claws, wanting to shred the body in front of him to pieces. But not to kill, yet. He wanted to see him suffer. He wanted to taste the smell of blood in the air. He wanted to see despair, he wanted to see him beg. He was merciless. Just to prove a point.

Ezekiel saw it happening, right in front of his eyes. He was frozen in place as he saw the onslaught that Kenai - no, he - was causing. And he was terrified. He couldn't speak, couldn't move. Only when he heard a nauseating noise that came from beneath the claws of the bear, he sprung back in action. He had to stop this, he was the only one that could. ‘‘S-stop!’’ he yelled to the bear. It was for deaf ears, but he did not even flinch. He had no plans to obey his master. Ezekiel eyes were as large as saucers. Usually when he summoned Kenai, it would rage in a barren place until Ezekiel was drained from his energy. He was the vessel, and when the vessel was empty, only then the nightmare would stop. Ezekiel dropped his staff, but also that would not stop the bear. It had completely taken hold of the sorcerer and pushed on. Ezekiel had to fight it, he just had to. So he ran, placing his body between Myr and Kenai, drawing his arms wide to block the attacks. ‘‘Stop!’’ he tried again. He seemed to reach through to the bear as it hesitated for a moment. In that moment, Ezekiel placed his hands against the chest of the beast, desperately trying to draw it away. But it was like pushing against a wall. And with a frustrated growl, the bear shook it's head and bashed it against Ezekiel, angry that it had interrupted him.

Ezekiel was thrown to the side as a ragdoll, but as the breath was slammed outside of his lungs, the familiar started to falter. The energy being drained from it. Yes, Ezekiel thought as he tried to push himself upright again. If he had to fight it, he would. Heavily breathing he tried to find his feet again. He outstretched his fist to the celestial and grunted as he fought with his mind against it. And then the shimmer in his fur started to glitch, and with a final roar, the beast just- disappeared. Ezekiel fell back on the floor as he gasped for air once more, heavily panting as he was trying to register what he had just done. What he had just done. Ezekiel looked over his shoulder. ‘‘Myr!’’ He yelled, as he started to crawl towards his cousins body.

NC

❝ I'll never be that me again ❞

Deer in headlights. Staring up at the monster in front of him. The rest of the world seemed to vanish around him as it was just his instincts and him. Trapped between the wall and his demise, all he could do was hold onto the weapon he still had with him. His trembling hands clenching onto the thing with all his might, knowing it was his only line of defence if it came down to it. And it wasn't that he had seen this before, because he hadn't. But every living creature could feel it. It was just something you knew. When you came face to face with something so pure and raw, you just knew that you'll be at the losing end. A primal sense that told you it was all over, that there was no escape. Tears welling up in his eyes as fear had a chokehold on him, his gaze going more and more up as to follow the monster. He was unable to look at anything else. Perhaps a brave thing, to look death straight into his eyes. But he was anything but brave right now. He wasn't even himself. He was just scared. It was all he was in this moment. Just a boy holding his breath as it looked at the thing.

He flinched again as soon as it moved forward and grabbed onto his spear, which shattered on impact between its jaws. Myrddin felt his knees become weak as his breathing started to soar. His heart skipping a beat as he saw the wooden splinters fall in front of his very eyes. And in that moment he realized how truly scared he was, because he had let loose of the weapon in an instant. His body shaking uncontrollably as he looked over the monsters face. But he couldn't focus, it was all blurry. Everything was so blurry. His vision, his mind, his thoughts... But then the beast charged forward. The motion setting something off in him. He tried to run, jump aside, do something. To get out of the situation. His eyes finally being ripped away from the murderous silhouette he turned himself away, moving as quickly as he could. A last struggle an attempt to get away. But little did he know that he was already backed up in a corner. The shadow in the corner of his eye grew rapidly, he turned his head and-

The claws shot like razors through his flesh as the weight of the creature landed on his leg. He could swear that he felt it snap like a twig and his body collapsed in instant under the sudden rush of pain and gravity. He fell to the ground with a heavy thud, which forced the air out of his longs. He opened his mouth, trying to gasp for air as his eyes kept being focused on his way out, desperately using his arms to push his shaking body a bit upwards. Up. He had to get up. He had to run. It was just there, right in front of him. He gasped for air, his lungs burning from the way he was hyperventilating. Still trying to escape this horror, despite the hellish feeling he felt just under his hips. The adrenaline, that had already started to surge before the attack, helped him. It was a miracle really. That he still moved himself after such impact, pushing himself up more and more with trembeling arms as he tried to reach out. It was just there. Right there...

And just like that his only hope was stripped away from him. Something hit him in the stomach, sending him tumbling backwards as he felt a searing pain fill his upper body. He gasped for air as he tried to look around, disoriented. But he didn't get any time at all. Because there it all went. Every new movement cutting into him, shredding away at him. His mind completely blanked out, unable to think or function as his body tried to do anything. But it didn't matter what he did. The only sound that filled the courtyard was an unpleasant symphony that the bear forced out of every fibber of his being. Every now and then he tried to cry out, but it was to no avail. His screams were hoarse and disformed, like they always had been. But with the entire situation, even that seemed to fade slowly away. His hands, who at first had reached up an attempt to make the beast stop had come down in a perfect synchronization. As he felt his body become more and more limb... And the world seemed to grow more distant by the second.

Everything in front of his eyes was red. The stones beneath him, the thing that was tearing him apart... The sky above him. His breathing slowed down as suddenly a switch went off on his brain. When a creature realized and accepted its fate... And there no longer was a point to try and fight back. With heavy breathing he let his body go limp, no longer trying to resist what it was doing to him. The fear faded as it just made way for... Darkness. Everything suddenly seemed so peaceful as he laid there, bleeding. Staring in front of him, his mind suddenly seemed so quiet. It was so nice and quiet for once, just for this once.

He hadn't even noticed that it all had stopped, because at a certain point he had just all filtered it out. The human body truly was a marvellous thing when it came down to it. The event too traumatizing for his mind to process that it couldn't even function anymore. But wasn't he a lucky lad, because this wasn't his first time. A second encounter with his mortality and now, he really was at death doorstep. And it was funny because, before, it had felt so far away. And at that point he would have embraced it. He was at such a low that he truly wouldn't have cared if he had slipped away at that very moment. There had been no point to it all, no reason to wake up. Yet, back then, he had pushed through. But now that he had finally found his purpose, his reason to keep on going, he was closer then ever to let it all slip between his fingers. And yet despite that future in front of him, he had no power to change it. Because as he laid there there was little he could do. All he did was stare out into the distance, looking at something that wasn't even there. Looking out and awaiting for something, or rather someone.

He barely noticed the movement in the corner of his eye. His grey gaze slowly shifted to it. He couldn't move his head... or his body. It all felt heavy and he was tired. Damn he was so tired. Between the tears, that had welled up at some point in the chaos, and the blood he could see his brother. He let out a soft sigh when he did, closing his eyes for just a moment. At least he was okay... Thank Lythrana he was okay.......

some children are simplyborn with tragedy in their blood

Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no. Ezekiel had really done it now. He truly fucked up. He must have killed him. How could he have survived something like this? He did not know what took over him. Was it fear? Was it guilt? Or was it just the adrenaline still pumping through his veins? What it was, it did not make him hesitate to crawl to his cousin's side. And what he found was a massacre. There was blood everywhere. Ezekiel's eyes flickered over his body from left to right as he knelt next to him. His hands hovered above him, scared to touch him anywhere, thinking he might make it worse. And when he looked at his hands, he noticed how uncontrollably hard he was trembling. Then the shock really kicked in, because suddenly he felt his heart pounding in his throat and his breathing quickened even more. He had to act, he had to do something, quickly. But his brain was empty, only playing white noise, and reenacting how he summoned Kenai. The power he felt, and the total loss of control. It was intoxicating. It was terrifying. And somehow he needed more.

Ezekiel felt nauseous as he finally could move his hands again. He pressed then tightly against the wound that seemed worst on his stomach. He looked at Myrddin, who had closed his eyes. ‘‘Stay awake, asshole. Come on, come on..’’ Please, he had been persistent and stubborn before. To get him to summon. To make him do this. Now he had to be stubborn to survive. And before he knew it, Ezekiel was softly praying. It was like his brain now truly had switched of, had transformed the fear is something useful. He had broken the over the boundaries. And while he saw his hands turn red, he shifted even more weight on it. He glanced down at Myrddin's legs and saw the awkward angle in them. He quickly turned away again and focused on his hands, which did not help either. The panic resurfaced again, as it came in waves spilling over. What if Myr would die? Oh god. He glanced back up at his face. ‘‘Don't you dare,’’ he whispered.

And then everything somehow went in slow-motion as he felt a hand on his shoulder. Help had come. How wouldn't it? He had let a beast roar and wreak havoc in the courtyard in broad daylight. There probably would have been witnesses. Ezekiel was dragged away from his cousin as people with more knowledge started to take care of Myr. Ezekiel started to struggle against it, and quickly two guards worked his hands behind his back. And then, time started to quicken again. Myr was being carried away, and Ezekiel could do nothing about it.

NC

❝ I'll never be that me again ❞

Everything was so difficult right now. Breathing, keeping his eyes open. Just... remaining. As he closed his eyes he could feel how his body slowly seemed to fade in sensation. It was weird, but not new to him. But then again, those kinds of things were just things you never got used to. He wasn't even fighting against it as it pulled at his consciousness. His senses barely picking up on the world around him. Slight sounds reaching his ears... But mostly the sudden pressure on his body. It interrupted his moment of peace as his body twitched under the sudden shock of pain. He opened his eyes, heavily breathing as he looked at his culprit. But when he saw who it was he tried to force himself to release the tension he was feeling. Luckily for him that wasn't too hard for someone that was slowly losing grip on himself.

He stared at the other, blinking weakly and every time finding it more and more difficult to open his eyes again. For a split second he tried to lift his hand as to gesture at Ezekiel that it was going to be okay. But he couldn't even manage that. His entire body protested against that. He only slightly moved some of his fingers as he closed his eyes again. He could just barely notice how his movement managed to brush slightly against the other. He wasn't sure if the other would have noticed. And it didn't even record in his brain. As he opened his eyes again, dark dots starting to fill his vision, the increased pain all over his body became too much and his consciousness finally gave in to the trauma. Perhaps for the better, as what he had endured wasn't... Light to say the least. He had been lucky in such an unfortunate situation...