Don't worry son

❝ You're going to make it, trust me. You're going to be okay ❞

Luca was someone he had always been worried about. He had been family ever since he gotten married, but he knew the boy for a longer time thanks to his aunt. He was just 10 years old when the boy was born, but the tragic event that took the others mother away had taken place when he was already an adult. From that point on Clarence had been worried about him and would often come over to visit him. His dad didn't seem very interested in him, so he took it upon himself to spend some time with him every now and then. Let it be to just get some coffee together or talk... He would always be there for the other whenever he asked so. Even when he was a kid he would often ask if the boy needed some time off. His father didn't seem to care all that much, as long as Luca completed his work. Matthew Winter... It was one of those individuals someone like him rather not crossed paths with. He just hoped that the boy wouldn't turn out like his father. He had always had some sort of kindness and gentleness to him, something he truly hoped he wouldn't lose. His own father had never allowed him to harness that gentleness, so he became a doctor in an attempt to at least get something out of it. Now... For Luca that wasn't an easy task. Being born a Winter and all that meant so much. He could only imagine how heavy that weighed on him, especially with a dad like Matthew.

And today was another day that he had taken some time out of his day to go visit the Winter estate. At first he was stopped, but as soon as the guards realized who he was, he was allowed to enter. He knew the way somewhat, as he had been here plenty of time before. Usually for the same thing, Luca. It had always made some of the guards frown, as they would often ask him if he wasn't here for his aunt. But when they realized he was somewhat part of the Baux family, that settled itself down. Esther had always talked so fondly of the boy, mostly because he was born a Winter and that was a huge achievement on its own. If only she had known who his real parents were... Would she have spoken about that too? It made him clench his teeth. Perhaps it was better that he had never told her about his secret. It was better for everyone around them that only they knew... Or well, in his humble opinion if even they didn't know. If Cassiopeia was the only one that knew, that would have been enough for him.

He slowed down, turning towards the room of the other. He hadn't informed that he would be coming by, but he had heard that his father was out of town. It meant that the boy wouldn't have him around to tell him what to do. As he cleared his throat, he lifted his hand and knocked, gently. He hoped the other was doing well, but if he didn't then he would suggest him to do something together. It always felt like he was stepping in for the fact that Matthew never seemed to be there as a father. Not that he minded. He had been a father figure for so many children so far and he loved each and every one of them. Seeing them grow up into fine adults was just part of the joy. But it had it's downside. Caring so deeply for so many people, he always felt so saddened whenever any one of them came to him with problems. If only he could fix all of them. But not everything was as simple as treating a cut. Some things could never be fixed.

It’s a cruel and random world,

His father was gone, of to Glimmerhollow or wherever. Though frankly after his latest stunt at the dinner, he’d rather not face the man. He could go fucking live with his other son as he had put it so nicely. Fucking embarrassed in front of the entire family, that man held no regard to anyone other than himself or Maybel. Anger surged through him yet again. This was becoming a problem for sure. The fact that Matthew got under his skin that easily. With a cup of steaming tea in his hands he was standing in front of the window, just looking outside. Maybe daydreaming a little bit. For his own sanity, he had decided to leave work for what it was today. Had decided that today would be solely about him, because in all honesty he needed it after everything. Briefly his eyes moved to the cut on his arm. Right. The utter destruction of the bond he shared with his sister. Another thing he would like to forget as fast as he could. He had slept horribly after what went down last night. Yet did he feel remorse? In his mind he had done the right thing, he had protected Maybel like he was certain his father would’ve wanted from him. Hand briefly moving over his chest, he had been cut there and his shirt was still slightly discolored.

When he was done with his daydreaming, the man had seated himself behind the piano in his room. Putting his cup of tea to the side. Placing his fingers on the keys and soon enough a calm melody was audible from his room. Nothing to happy, if anything more melancholic than anything. When a knock slipped above the music he looked up. Brows furrowing. Uncertain about who it could be. He doubted that it would be Maybel since they weren’t exactly on speaking terms anymore. Then who?

He hoisted himself up again, walking to the door and opening it. Finding out that it was Clarence. Making him raise a brow in surprise, though worried simmered through his expression. ’Is something wrong with Isaac?’

but the chaos is all so beautiful.

MONTY

❝ You're going to make it, trust me. You're going to be okay ❞

When he was walking down the hall, he could already hear the boy playing the piano. He smiled at the sound, but he felt his heart sink a little as he noticed the sad tunes that came from the instrument. He could already guess that something was on his mind, but when was it not. The boy had been treated a bad hand at life, as his father didn't seem to care about him at all... Clarence had seen it so many times before in the orphans he cared for. Some of them still sought for the approval of the parents that had abandoned them. A child's love for the one that created them, was something that could break ones heart. For a parent did not always return the love the child was asking for. The situation with the Winters here, was the same. Yet, they had buried it under wealth and money. He was sure that Matthew would push the boy away soon enough, send him on his way. As if he was ready for the world. Luca was barely of age and already it was expected of him to stand on his own legs. It made him oh so sad thinking about it.

When he arrived at his door and softly knocked on it, he awaited for a response. The beautiful sound of the piano came to a halt and he lifted his dark eyes, already putting up a soft smile. It didn't take long for the young man to open the door for him. Clarence looked at him with a kind expression on his face. But as his eyes quickly noticed the stain on the others shirt, his focus went to it, a frown growing on his face. He rapidly blinked, clearly caught off guard by it. Was that... Blood? He looked back up to the other, who asked him if something was wrong with Isaac. His throat tensed up as he hard time swallowing, his mind racing as it started to unfold a million scenarios that could explain the others state. His frown became more concerned as he lifted his hand carefully. His gaze going back to the shirt of the other. As his fingers slowly pressed against the fabric he noticed that it was already dry. A sigh left his lips, but the tension wasn't gone yet. "Isaac is fine," He said softly, slowly looking up from the blood on the others clothes. "What... Happened?" He said, clear concern in his voice. "Are you hurt?" He tilted his head, keeping himself from trying to look under the others clothes. He was used to urgent matters and when he saw something like this, it made his heart race. Especially when it were people he cared deeply about, like Luca.

It’s a cruel and random world,

Maybe he did deserve whatever his father had set out for him? Maybe it was just as simple as that. Was he truly the spawn of the devil herself? Something that was only strengthened by how he was being treated by Matthew now. Had everything just piled up to that moment yesterday evening. The worst part, he barely remembered anything about it. He had been in a daze, he couldn’t put it any other way. A sigh slipped over his lips, he tried emptying his head in the form of playing the piano. But it didn’t really help. The melancholic tunes only made him feel worse than he already was. If anything he wanted to talk to Maybel. He needed to tell her how sorry he was, how he had misread the whole thing. But deep down he wondered what good it would do to him? It wasn’t like she was going to forgive him. Maybe he’d only make it worse?

The knock on his door had surprised him. But when he saw the face of the other he frowned. Was something wrong with Isaac and his prosthetic? Shortly he bit his lip, couldn’t help himself from asking it. But soon enough Clarence his expression seemed to shift and he swallowed. Wanting to reach for the gash on his chest, but he kept himself from it. Don’t be such a wuss. Clarence raised his hand and he swallowed shortly. Taking a deep breath when he mentioned that the other was okay. Then why? Had he heard about what happened? Had he possibly been there to help out?

’I did something stupid..’ Rubbing his cheek shortly. Looking up at the other. ’The other is looking worse..’

but the chaos is all so beautiful.

MONTY

❝ You're going to make it, trust me. You're going to be okay ❞

He didn't need his medical knowledge to know that this was blood. The other was either hurt or had hurt someone. He didn't know which of the two was worse. Luca could do a lot of harm if he wanted to, but that was not the kind of idea he had about him. He could never think bad about anyone, because for Clarence, all had some of good in them... And everyone could mean something good in the world if they just tried. But he didn't think the boy had any mal intend. He was a soft being, wouldn't harm anyone... Right? So who had harmed him? Had it been his father...? For a moment his eyes widened at that thought. Oh dear Renestrae he hoped that wasn't the case. It had already been worse enough what had happened with his mother, and that certainly didn't justify what kind of things Matthew subjected him to, but if he had to go through such things... More concern washed over him as he looked up at him with almost pleading eyes. What had happened... Why was he hurt...? Why... Oh why...

And then he finally spoke. Clarence frowned... Stupid? What kind of stupid? And then he continued. The other looked worse. The man blinked slowly, almost in disbelief what he had just heard. He... Oh... Oh Luca.. His gaze softened up, but a shimmer of concern remained in it. "Let's go in your room okay?" He said softly as he gently laid his hand on the boy's shoulder he stepped forward. He wasn't going to force him to go back, so if he stood his ground he wouldn't budge. He wasn't going to do anything the other didn't want. That was one of the things he had always kept up as a doctor, father and just a person in general. "May I have a look?" He asked him with a steady tone. "I promise that it's okay," his voice was soft as he gestured to the a chair or maybe... HIs bed? Just a place where he could lay down. "It's okay to be stupid sometimes," he tried to comfort him with those words as he looked up at him. "So don't worry..." Was it necessary to say these things? He wasn't sure. The boy didn't look like he was hysteric... But maybe he was on the inside. If only he could see what he was thinking about, what he was truly feeling. Well... That last part he could take a pretty good guess at. He was a true empath after all. The other wasn't okay, he really wasn't. Oh Renestrae... Why did this happen to him? He didn't deserve these things...

It’s a cruel and random world,

Clarence, out of all people it had to be Clarence. Not that he wasn’t grateful to see him, but fuck. What would he think of him? He couldn’t have another think badly about him. Not someone like Clarence, he was like a father to him. More so than Matthew would ever be. He was the one that knew it all. What his mother did to him when she had been alive, what his father did to him to this very day. He was the one person that knew every bad thing there was to know about all the things that happened. What would he think of this? That he wasn’t in fact better than Matthew or Rina? Perhaps he was even worse than the two of them. Panic was creeping up to him. Something he only escaped when he heard the other his voice again. Blinking shortly. Very slowly stepping back into his room. His breathing sounding rather shallow.

Have a look.. Was that smart? Maybe. Maybe not. But Clarence was in fact the person he would’ve run of too if he didn’t have to take Maybel home last night. Shortly he bit his lip, but he nodded eventually. Going to sit down on the edge of his bed. Staring down, ashamed of what he had done. If anything, he wanted to sink into the ground and never be able to return. ’Not like this..’ He responded to his word about being stupid. Slowly he took off his shirt. Showing the bright red slash that ran from shoulder to shoulder. Laying down in his pillow.

’Have you possibly been contacted by Blackmoor manor?’

but the chaos is all so beautiful.

MONTY

❝ You're going to make it, trust me. You're going to be okay ❞

If it wasn't for his years of experience, he surely would have panicked. But just like in any other high tense situations he experienced on the daily, he was able to remain level headed, calm even. It was a talent of sorts to keep your head like that. A necessity when you did his kind of job. He simply kept his gaze on the other, waiting on what he would do or say so he could act accordingly. He wasn't going to push anything on him, because that could lead to agitation and that was last thing they needed. Clarence tried to calm his own mind as to not start making assumptions of what had happened. It would just be a hinderance for now. If he could just get a peak at what potentially was wrong, he could treat it and then see if the other was willing to open up. Patience was the key to such gentle care and he had mastered that a long time ago.

He nodded carefully when he finally moved. The boy decided to sit on the edge of his bed and Clarence stepped closer, but still didn't reach out. He simply waited for what the other would do or say. The other opened his mouth soon after and he held his breath for a moment. As he looked over the young man's face it was clear that concern grew in him. What had happened for him to be like this? This didn't look like anything that could have happened from his father. Or anyone that had a history with him. He shook his head slowly as he watched the other take off his shirt. The man did his best not to respond, but it was hard. As he tried to hold back the gasp that almost left his lips. From shoulder to shoulder, a wound gaping wide open. It clearly hadn't be treated yet. A puzzled expression formed on his face as he looked from one side of his body to the other. Luca decided to lay down and that simple movement allowed him to finally look away. He blinked rapidly as he tried to think of what he could do. He didn't have his supplies with him or his tools, so he couldn't stitch it up. He could ask a servant to get him the needed stuff. But wouldn't that alert the people in the castle? He averted his eyes to the door and felt a certain anxiety creep up on him. Not for him, but for the other. Did anyone know of this?

His voice reached his ears and the doctor turned his head. He blinked slowly, shaking his head. "No, I haven't," he said. Blackmoor manor... Is that where he had obtained this mark? He looked over it once more, before trying to look at Luca. He opened his mouth slowly, trying to ask the burning question that was on his mind, but he refrained. He just averted his eyes, held his breath for a moment and finally spoke again. "I'll patch you up, okay?" he said with a short nod, looking back at him. "But I don't have anything with me," he paused for a moment, trying to find the right words so that the other wouldn't act out. "Is it okay if I ask a maid to fetch me the required materials?" He stepped towards the other, looking over him once more. "I'll stay, ok? I won't leave if you don't want that. But if you want me to leave that's ok too... Just tell me what you want ok?" He nodded, going through one knee as he slowly laid his hand over the others hand. "It looks scary, but I can tell it isn't that bad," He showed the other a gentle smile. "Does it hurt?" He said softly as he gently held the other hand. "It's okay, really. I'm glad you're okay," He tried to assure the other as much as he could, but this was hard, even for him.

It’s a cruel and random world,

Right now the only thing on the boy his mind was how Alexander Preston was doing. Was he alive? Or had Luca made himself a murderer as well? Gods no. That wouldn’t be the case, right? If anything then someone would’ve already come for him. Of that, he was quite certain. But that didn’t change the fact that he knew nothing about the state of the man he had attacked. Clarence seemed worried, if anything the man always was. Maybe it was just part of who he was. But Luca had never experienced that one could care so much about him. Which was a depressing thought on its own. The other tried to stay calm, but he could see it when he glanced into his eyes. A panic settled. And he knew, he knew that he didn’t deserve any of it. He didn’t deserve that Clarence was worrying about him. There was only one thing he was certain of right now, and that was the fact that he was indeed a monster. Like Matthew painted him to be.

Slowly Luca had taken his shirt off. Exposing the wound to the other. His eyes cast to the ground. Not wanting to see the disgust or worry on Clarence his face. Because he deserved neither. Deciding on laying down and staring up at the ceiling almost blankly. A sigh slipped over his lips when he heard the other approach him. This felt so stupid. He didn’t even know what the other could do about it. Probably not much as he was quite aware that he hadn’t brought his materials with him. Why was he here? Had he forgotten that they had talked about doing something? Frankly, he didn’t even remember. Which was his fault and not that of Clarence. Luca didn’t dare to look up. Not right away. Afraid of some sort of judgment from the other. Though he should know better. If anything, he was the one person that cared about him. Maybe even the only one left right about now.

He hadn’t. Which made Luca frown for an instant. Eyes moving to Clarence for a moment. If he hadn’t been contacted, then who? Had Alexander been taken care of? Of was there nothing left to actually take care of? By Renestrae, he felt sick. ’Don’t ask anyone.. My father can’t hear about this. I need to be patched up, but I can’t have the staff gossiping about this. Clarence, please..’ Luca muttered softly, tears burning behind his eyes. Stupid. Fucking, stupid. ’Just stay.. I need you to stay, that’s all.’ Feeling the sudden urge to curl up into a ball and just start crying. Really, the difference between him now and last night.. Shortly nodding in response to the other his question, fiddling with the edge of the blanket. He had fucked up, big time. ’I don’t care. I don’t need to be okay, I need Lord Preston to be okay.’

but the chaos is all so beautiful.

MONTY

❝ You're going to make it, trust me. You're going to be okay ❞

Clarence had empathy for every person he had ever met in his life, but for some individuals it was worse than others. This mostly included his family, as well as found family he had with people such as Luca. He knew the other probably didn't look at him the way he looked at him, viewing the boy as his own son from time to time... And worrying more about his wellbeing and future then even his own father did. It pained him to see the other in such a situation, because he could only imagine what was going through his head. If he had been in his shoes, he would have broken down, most likely. The ugly wound would be enough for him to weep. Taking into account the trauma of whatever had happened... He could only imagine how much pain and grief he was in. His eyes softened up, clearly showing how worried he was about the other. He really didn't deserve any of this. Why did the kindest souls always get the short end of the stick? Life truly was cruel sometimes.

As he looked at the other and spoke, asking what he could do to help and such, he felt another wave of worry wash over him. The other’s dark eyes met his own and Clarence could see how bad Luca really was doing. Oh Renestrae, why must you be so on cruel on him? The Winter spoke, stating that his father couldn't hear about this, so to not ask anyone... But it would seem the other was well enough to realize that he did need some patching up. The doctor nodded slowly, clearly understanding where he was coming from. Gossip is a deadly thing after all, especially within the walls of this castle. "I understand... That's okay," he said softly as he nodded once more, trying to assure the other as much as possible. And then the man finally stated what he wanted. He wanted him to stay and Clarence nodded at him. placing his hand gently on the other’s arm. "Okay, I'll stay. I'm here," his voice was soft as he spoke, a certain calm undertone that rolled through the room as his thumb brushed up against the other, trying to give him some sort of help... Despite the fact he couldn't do anything about his physical state.

He tried to state that he was okay and that was really all that mattered, but it was clear that weren't the words Luca needed right now. As soon as he spoke, the puzzle pieces fell into place. Yet, surprise or such didn't appear on him. He remained calm, sitting next to him as he gently tried to comfort the young man. "He most likely has his own private doctor," the man said softly as he nodded once more. "Most high standing people have, after all," He worked privately for some lords as well but was mostly open for the general public of the upper ring. He could have worked within these walls too, but he never had a desire to do so. He had become a doctor to help the people, not to be huddled up in luxury. "And I understand how you feel. But you need to be okay. For me, okay?" He smiled softly at the other, his voice remaining so calm and soothing as he kept on going. "It's okay if you worry about the unknown, it shows you care about whatever has happened-" he paused, taking a deep breath as he tried to give himself some time to collect his thoughts. "But first, you have to look out for yourself," As soon as he was better, he could worry about someone else. It was the number 1 rule he had taken up for himself back in the day.