Just like you

Interesting, how as a child, you’re still like; ‘I will never, ever, be like my father,’ because she didn’t remember how her mother used to be. Of course, she remembered that her mother was kind and caring and well, even though she did want to be like her, like that, she couldn’t. And she had always admired her father, he was strong, ambitious, righteous, wise, everything the head of the Vylasar family had needed. That was her position now. And she was trying to be what this sorcerer bloodline needed. She believed she was on the right track. Therefore she had to become like her father, which is what she believed.
Life was tough. A simple, direct lesson, you were taught by living it. And she had felt it, especially when she broke life’s rules. It was a memory, plain and clear. So were the consequences. Bearing a son, who’d end up to be a mute. The future head of the family and Governor of Lythrania.
She had wanted to give her son time to find true love. She didn’t want him to be thrown in an arranged marriage without love and compassion. But her son was aging. He was still young and despite his… short comings, he was handsome, smart, talented and therefore a catch for any woman who’d be lucky to call him her husband.
So, she climbed the stairs, her blue dress flowing around her feet. She sighed deeply. Family duty. She raised her hands and knocked on his door. “Son,” sounded her voice, calm yet firm. She wanted to be done with it. He hated her already, so better be done with the next level of hate, yet to come. Yeah, a shortcoming within this family was that no one really talked about anything with each other. Feelings? No, that did not exist.

❝ I'll never be that me again ❞

One two. One two. And One two.

His hands flowed through the air effortlessly as his fist hit the training dummy in precise locations. He took a step back and placed his one foot behind the other. Steady now. Don't lower the arm, keep shoulders straight. One swift movement was enough to send the dummy flying through the room as his flexible body spun around. His feet had hit it harder then he had thought and for a moment he let out an irritated sigh. That was not what he wanted.... His light coloured eyes looked over at the thing, that had crashed against the wall. He wished to Lythrana that his dummy wasn't destroyed whatsoever. Cause... Then he had to get a new one. He already had done his duties for the day, so he wasn't really looking forward to leaving his room for the rest of the day. It had been another hard day. Being captain wasn't particularly a hard job, he knew that he could manage it on his own just fine. But he was young, his status being one of the only things that allowed him to have the job. In a way he was happy that he had something to do beside just studying and refining his skills, but it also wasn't what he truly wanted. And sure, he understood why he had to take up something like this instead of pursuing the arts, but it still irritated him nonetheless.

He lifted his arms and stretched himself a little bit before moving towards the dummy. When he kneeled down next to the thing, it was clear that the impact with the wall had left it broken. That or his kick must have hit it on a weak spot, the impact that came after only making its fate even more clear. Myrddin shook his head a little as he slowly started to collect the pieces of the broken wooden dummy. This wasn't his job at all, but asking a maid to clean it up for him seemed like... No. He broke it, it was his duty to fix it. He silently continued to collect the pieces, his mind wandering places he rather not think about as of right now. His thought circling and going back and forth, only to come back to that one conclusion; he really felt lonely. There weren't a lot of people the blond man called friends. And well.. Most of them had left for Moonbright when the council was formed, leaving the former capitol behind them. In a way he really envied them. He had rarely left the city growing up, maybe once or twice. But for as long as he could remember he was here, under the ocean. Protected by the magic that had blessed his family as well. Some would say that he was lucky. But he didn't agree, being born wasn't something you were 'luck' at. It was simply the start of your story. Some having more positive factors and some more negative. But luck had nothing to do with it.

A knock on his door distracted him from his task. The familiar voice of his mother caught his attention immediately. He looked over to the destroyed dummy, sighed for a moment and leaned a bit back to grab some cloth. He quickly covered up the mess with it and stood up. His hand swiftly grabbing his staff. While he moved towards his door, he preformed his dance. The familiar flames and glitter appeared before him, which allowed the way for Maeve to be formed. Her feathers becoming darker as the magic rushed over her blue silhouette. Stars filling her being, before finally blessing it with the familiars soul. He put his staff away as soon as the bird had formed, holding out his arm for her. She flew up without hesitation and landed on his arm, climbing up to his shoulder and stabilizing herself there. She let out an almost silent noise, sensing how her master was already tensing up by the sudden visit of his mother.

His hand went over the doorknob and he opened it without hesitation, having a stern and formal expression on his face. Not a glance of familial love was to be found. Sadly, it wasn't something he really understood. He had respect for her and wanted her approval, yes, but he also really... Didn't like her. She was her mother and at the end of the day even for him family was important. But she was not his 'mother'. Not as how others would describe it. She gave life to him, was his parental figure for a large portion of his life, but she wasn't the person he would seek love or emotional help from when needed. He took a step back, opening the door even wider as he bowed his head a little out of respect. Maeve followed in his action, also bowing her head. She was the head of the family and the governess of Lythrania. She had every right to be respected. "My lady Vylasar," said his familiar with a clear and familiar voice. Soft spoken as always, which always sounded oh so soothing to him. "My apologies for the mess, but please, come in," There was little mess to be spoken off, as Myrddin was an extremely neat man. He had everything organized perfectly. It was just that his little dummy disaster cover up really... Stuck out in the perfect canvas. "Is there anything that I can help you with?" Was the question the bird asked the older lady. Myrddin kept his posture straight, keeping his grayish eyes focused on her. Formalities were all he really knew anyway.

Svana was the name of her celestial familiar. A gorgeous, big and elegant bird, with glittering feather, big wings and a slim, tall neck. Aurelia had to bow deeply and graciously with her staff to summon Svana, greeting het familiar by looking the swan straight in the eyes before slowly standing up again. From that moment Svana would be by her side. She could easily de-summon Svana by bowing deeply again and almost singingly telling the bird to rest again. Svana was a strong and impressive Swan, just as prideful as Aurelia herself.

And also, right in this moment, Svana stood at her side. She waited for the voice of Maeve before she stepped inside. She did respect her son like that and would never just open the door before the sound of the birds voice. Svana looked straight at the bird and Aurelia looked at her son. She knew he practiced his martial arts and she knew that he’d just practiced. The bird greeted her by saying ‘My Lady Vylasar’, something that kept a distance between her and her son. When had been the last time that she had held him in her arms? Truly. She couldn’t remember. “No need to apologise,” she replied calmly, looking straight at Myrddin. “You’ve been busy, it seems?” But she didn’t get the change to ask how his practice was going. Not that she was really interested, but she wanted to be for him. Oh well, straight to business then. “Well, not really. But there is something you can help yourself with,” she started, walking close towards his son and placing herself in a chair. She gestured for him to sit down as well, since she didn’t want to have this conversation standing up. “I believe that you are very well aware of your age,” she started, knowingly that he could guess where this conversation was going to now. Svana flapped her wings a couple of times and sat down on the ground as well, still looking at the bird on Myrddin’s shoulders.

❝ I'll never be that me again ❞

He couldn't even remember the last time he called her mother out loud. Maeve always said lady Vylasar to the woman. Which.. He didn't mind. It kept distance between them that he preferred to have. He could vaguely remember how, as a child, he would practice in front of a mirror. Practice what exactly? Well, speaking. And even as a little boy he wanted to make his mother proud of him. So that was the word he always tried to say. Mother. And even though there were sounds, as per usual, no words were ever formed. He had tried so hard, been so frustrated... Even screamed about it in an attempt to just form one piece of the word, mom. But even that had been too hard. He hated those memories so much, since it only brought him pain and reminded himself once again how much of a failure he was by just being born. Those things only fuelled him even more to become the perfect heir to the Vylasar family. So he wouldn't go down in history as the mute failure. Born with magic, but without a voice. What a joke.

His mother had her familiar with her as well. And as soon as Maeve noticed her, he could feel an unpleasant feeling coming from her. The bird on his shoulder didn't shift in expression and remained regal and grand as ever. But Myrddin could notice it. He could always notice how she felt. And even though they were almost one and the same, they were also somewhat a separate entity. She still had her own emotions and thought, but they simply aligned with his most of the time. And he could feel how she felt, what she was thinking, doing. It went both ways, resulting in her being a perfect interpreter for him. She was simply his voice. The blonde man kept eye contact with the governess, just like how the celestial bird kept eye contact with the celestial swan. They could both feel each other nervousness, but they remained calm and composed. As per usual there was little suggestion that he felt off. His expression neutral, his gaze stern. He was trained to act like this, to be like this. And it was only in certain moments that he broke that upbringing. This was not one of those moments.

She told him that he didn't need to apologise. He nodded, bowing his head somehow and breaking eye contact in the process. As in a way of saying understood. His familiar followed in his movements. He swiftly regained his posture, looking back at his mother. She asked him a question. Had he been busy? He averted his eyes for a moment, looking at the... Small mess he made. Well... He only nodded, confirming what she said. Yes, he had. He rarely wasn't busy with something. As when he wasn't busy, his mind had a tendency to wander a lot, putting him in uncomfortable positions. He much rather kept himself busy with matters. It was tiring, but better then being anxious all the time. As he asked a question to her, she answered in a way that he couldn't determine what would follow. He looked back at her. Hm... Help himself with? Had he done something wrong? Was this what it was all about? Was this what she meant by the fact that he had been busy? He opened his mouth a bit, as only to take a deep breath. He hoped it wasn't. He couldn't remember any bad things he had done as of recent. He rarely messed up... Well, he did mess up sometimes in training but that's why it was training, that's why he still had classes... That's why. Was he supposed to perfect those as well? No... That was an impossible request to make. The Vylasars were harsh, but they would never expect the impossible... Right?

As his mind started to panic, he followed the governess slowly with his gaze. She went to sit down at a beautifully shapen table. If he remember correctly it had been imported from Silvercrest. Handmade by some wood elves who frequently visited the town. He didn't know the details of the matter... But he knew it was a vintage piece and all that. As his eyes went over the thing he slowly walked past his mother, only to take place at another chair across from hers. His throat felt... Dry... And he couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was coming. Yet, nothing of those feelings were notable on his face as he looked back at her, awaiting her words. And they came. He blinked a couple of times. His age? He was of age to... Oh... He averted his eyes as soon as the realisation hit. He couldn't help himself as a deep felt sight left his lips. He could feel how Maeve ruffled her feathers, pushing up against his head as she did. She clearly wanted him to get out of that headspace. But he... He... He closed his eyes.... Really?

"Yes my lady," Please just shut up Maeve. "Marriage and, following that, would be children. Assuring the bloodline once more," Like some sort of animal. He clenched his teeth as he slowly turned his head to look back at her. He placed his hands on his lap as he noticed how they had formed fists. Losing the last part of the little freedom he had. She truly just wanted this to be over with. His feelings didn't even matter. But then again, did he ever even have a choice? His mind started racing and he averted his gaze to the bird on his shoulder. Why don't you say it? But she looked at him for a moment, locking eyes, before looking back at the governess. He felt anger rise in his chest as she did. How... Dare she.

Wait a minute. "Do you have a suitable woman in mind, my lady?" Myrddin his blood started to boil as the bird went on to speak on her own now, not listening to what he had to say, what he wanted to say. She kept on pushing that he had to calm down, regain his posture. But he couldn't, not after what she did. But she remained clear. Anger wouldn't be the solution. Just get this over with as quickly as possible. No. He didn't want to. He averted his eyes, staring at something on the ground as he crossed his arms, grinding his teeth slowly. He didn't want to be a part of this if it was just going to be a conversation between her and his mother. So much for having a voice. Stupid chicken.