Ruination

❝ A masterpiece of tragedy, turning even stars into dust. ❞

He hadn't been able to sleep after that night with Fauna. It wasn't as if anything had happened between them. Not... In any intense way he would say, or physically. Although it still haunted him how he had grabbed her, how he hadn't held back his strength as he did. And he had hurt her, he knew he had. And he felt horrible for doing so. He barely had any interaction with people, never really using his strength on them. But when he did, he was confronted over and over that he just wasn't made for all of that. And upset him. He was too rough with people; he had been too rough with her. And when that wasn't the problem, his magic sure as hell was. The reason why he had acted out like that. He hated it so much. And the day after he had remained in his room, wishing that he was just born without any to begin with. He didn't want this curse, he never wanted it. It hadn't been useful in his life yet and he knew that it would, most likely, never be useful...

Sulking in his room only brought more despair upon him. So the day after that he had left his chambers to head straight for the gardens. It was already a bit past sunrise and the broad man hoped that he wouldn't encounter anyone. Perhaps a guard would be fine, but if it was one of those Vylasars or Fauna... He sure as hell would turn around and head straight back to his room. He wasn't over it yet, he still needed more time before he was confronted with all of it. Call him slow or even childish, but he rather distanced himself then have a full blown breakdown over it. He had already shed enough tears in his own time to let them be seen in public. It was better to process his worries through other means. Like he was going to do now. With his battle axe resting on his shoulder and such... It was clear that he wasn't going to the gardens to watch the birds or pretty flowers. If anything, he wanted to rip something apart. Perhaps not the healthiest way of dealing with his issues, but as long as he had a way of dealing with them... It was fine, right? Right.

Eventually he came in the gardens, tilting his head a bit back as he tried to look around. It was a stunning day yet again in the picture-perfect underwater city. It almost made him sigh at the sight, as it frustrated him somewhat. Nothing should be this perfect. Perhaps days where it was cloudy on the surface, it would reflect on the city. But he had yet to see that. Lemuria sure had fantastic weather compared to Ravaryn and Xaila. It was just perfectly balanced, just right. Why was it just right.... Ugh. He sighed softly, turning another corner as his eyes went over some bushes of roses who had just started to bloom. They had some vivid colours that he hadn't seen in plants on the surface yet. Most likely a mutations from this place. He made a slight note of it as he could use it in his work, before lifting his gaze. His focus immediately landing on one of the people he didn't want to see today. And his expression almost shifted in an instant because of it. He wasn't pleased to see him.

mummy don't know daddy's getting hot

As if he hadn't had enough troubles on his mind, he was also tasked with checking up on some
flowers. Gardening was not for him, he didn't like flowers and he couldn't care less if they would wither or bloom. But he had taken this opportunity to take Häti for a walk and the wolf seemed to be happy about that. His mind was not in the game by any means and the summon noticed that by pushing him out of the way of some flowers on the way. "Oh, sorry." He shook his head, looked around and sighed softly. He was thinking about a number of things and nothing would help him out. He had to do something about his marriage, although they have to get engaged first. And because the young summoner hadn't spoken more than five words to his soon to be bride, made it even harder. Every time he stepped up to her door, a wave of anxiety rushed over him and he just left. If only he had someone to speak with about things like this. But Chaska seemed to be busy, Aniu wasn't even in Lythrania and he couldn't be bothered to sent a letter. Friends was something that he actually had, not here, not yet at least.
Deimos looked up, catching a glimpse of a man taller than any he had seen before. Eyes fixed on him, expression made it clear how the other felt about this meeting. The young summoner grabbed his summoners staff and Häti snarled deep. "What are you doing here?" He asked loudly, over the flowerbed, towards the Xailian.

+ tag Zuhayra Rizal
+ notes Emotional posts or something like that

BY MITZI

❝ A masterpiece of tragedy, turning even stars into dust. ❞

When eyes met, he felt his muscles tense up in an instant. Narrowing his eyes, he tried to relax himself as much as he could. But it was a near impossible task. His one and only encounter with this man hadn't been quite positive. And the fact that soon enough he would take away Fauna, was something that haunted his mind. Not that the young lady belonged to him, or ever did... Or ever would. It was just that annoying voice in the back of his mind that couldn't keep his mouth shut about it all. Something in his head couldn't bare the sight of her belonging to him. He wasn't good enough for her. She was royalty and all he was... Was nothing more than a twig. If he had lived in Xaila, he would have been thorn apart. He doubted this guy would have even been able to pass his provening. Maybe he could have used his familiar and would have stood a sliver of chance with that, but even then it was a huge if. After all, that puppy of his only really had its fangs. One swift swing of his axe would separate the head from the body. He was no strangers to cutting to flesh with his weapon, a creature made of pure energy shouldn't be that much harder.

Talking about said pup, it started to growl. Zuhayr slowly averted his gaze as he looked at the canine for a moment. He looked over the manifestation and frowned slowly as he observed it. Although bigger than any dog he had ever seen before, it was still rather small. He wondered if the thing was well behaved or if it would lash out to him like the wild animal it was modelled after. He had fought a wolf back on their journey from Xaila to Ravaryn. Zu had gotten bitten on his lower arm, but when the creature had set itself on that limb he had been able to grab it by the throat, force it to ground and almost choke it to death. The wounds were already healed, barely leaving any scars or traces of them ever being there. The experience was only something he could tell about in words, as his body didn't show the story. But one would be wise not to underestimate the Xailan. For his shy nature, he made up in strength. And his body clearly reflected that. He had always been quite rough around the edges, even as a kid.

Deimos spoke and he looked back at the sorcerer for a moment. Not really making eye contact anymore with him, his gaze went to the flowerbed the other seemed to be busy with earlier. Zuhayr let his shoulders hang a bit, a posture he usually had and something that didn't fit his broad and muscular build. He wanted to shrug and walk off, not looking back at the man and simply returning to his room. But seeing him only made him more upset. Now, more than ever, was the need to tear something apart. So he opened his mouth a bit, his lips parting ever so slightly as he took a deep breath. "I'm uh-" his voice was so soft, barely able to hear. And it caught him off guard a bit. But the muscles in his throat were all tensed up; he was meant to fail here. "I'm just-" Another soft pair of words followed, yet again too quiet to properly reach the other. He put one hand over the other as he started to fumble with his fingers. He didn't want this confrontation. He hated these kinds of scenario's. "I was..." Too damn quiet dude.

He fell silent for a bit, staring at the flowerbed in between them. As his eyes went from one flower to the next, he had a hard time swallowing away the stress that was building up inside of him. His gaze slowly went to one side to another, as if to try and find a way out. It wasn't because he was scared of anything physical. No. He never was. It was more that these kind of things simply choked him out. And he couldn't do anything about it. So... The broad man cleared his throat, coughing softly as he covered his mouth with one hand. A weak attempt to clear up the stress and anxiety. "It... it is for the uhm-" his voice still silent, he felt himself more embrassed than ever. And he put one hand over his arm, rubbing it ever so slightly as he clenched his jaw. This was stupid. He just wanted to go. But even that wasn't able anymore. His brain weaving together ever nonesens that drove him more and more into his own anxiety. He wanted to go back. He wanted his safe space back.

mummy don't know daddy's getting hot

He could hear a pin drop in the short moment that the two man were looking at each other. Even Häti's snarling seemed to be on the background, as if the two were in some kind of glass bubble. Which seemed ironic, with them being in Lythrania at all. Even though the young summoner had his summoners staff in his left hand, his right hand rested on the pummel of his longsword, if needed he could use his own fighting experience besides the summon. The two would fight as one, like in all the practicing he had done in his youth.
But the man didn't make a move, he even looked away as if he was ashamed of looking at him. For a splitsecond, Deimos let his guard down, not knowing how to handle this kind of situation. He straightened his back and the wolf stopped the snarling. The summoner looked down at his summon, sharing its confusion. It almost seemed like the broad and tall man from Xaila in front of him shrunk, like in one of those plays he liked to look at when he was a child. Zuhayra stuttered, not even forming one coherent sentence. Deimos just stood there, listening, not knowing what to do. The man in front of him looked smaller, like a child who lost its parent but also had stolen a candy piece and didn't want to return it. It was a weird mix of feelings and it confused him even more.
Not sure if it was his brotherly instinct or anything else, but Deimos stepped closer to the man. In his mind, he had chosen his words carefully. Sadly, his mind and mouth were corresponding correctly, so the words he actually said were a bit harsher. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He frowned, thinking about what he just had said to the man. Not the most subtle thing. Yet, he couldn't ignore how he was reacting. It somehow reminded him of himself. Deimos looked like a tough rebel, someone who hated the rules and broke even more. It was a persona he had adapted to keep his sister out of trouble. As long as he was the one getting into trouble, people would be less harsh towards his sister. That was the idea at least. Yet, it wasn't who he really was. There was a softer core, one that not many people knew about him. He was insecure about most things, his magic, his strength, and at this moment, his soon to be marriage. He had no idea what he had to do with Fauna, nor how to make any kind of emotional connection to her.
Deimos noticed that he was staring into nothingness, spacing out into his own thoughts. Wondering how it would look like from the outside, the two men standing here, like freaks.

+ tag Zuhayra Rizal
+ notes Emotional posts or something like that

BY MITZI

❝ A masterpiece of tragedy, turning even stars into dust. ❞

This whole situation made him feel uncomfortable. It was as if he was facing down his worst enemy, his worst anxiety, the one thing he had been avoiding for all these years. And in so many ways, he was. Confrontation was one of the many things that gave him such anxiety, such fear, that he felt like his heart could burst, like he couldn't breathe anymore. As if someone had ripped away his ability to simply... Be. Every normal thing, that others most likely never thought off, became so heavy. He could feel tears burn behind his eyes. His instincts were screaming to run, to hide. To never show his face again. And it was such a duality. Because deep down, Zuhayr wanted to speak up to the other, give him a piece of his mind. Tell him exactly what was up and that he should treat her the way she deserved to be treated. But even though he liked to believe that he was brave, he couldn't be. For all the limits that his emotions had set on him, he was completely frozen. Deer in headlights, only able to mutter out pieces of a barely formed sentence.

Deimos stepped closer and as if it was second nature, Zu took a step back. His pace was quick, as if he got startled by the sudden action. And in many ways, he did. His eyes widened a bit as he looked over the others body, as if to find something that might hurt him. Not physically, but mentally. An attempt to grab him, for example, would be more than enough. Skin on skin contact always brought the worst kind of visions. Fear was clearly written in his gaze as he stared at the other hands, seeing if he would reach out or keep his distance. If he were to get closer, the Xailan man would jump back. Not being hostile, but certainly defensive. He did not need to know what kind of death this one would head towards. Especially since Fauna was bound to be close with this man. Meaning that he could potentially see her fate as well. And that one scared him the most out of everything. To see the one person, he cared so much about, to see her demise. And he knew if he saw it once, he would see it again in his nightmares. Over and over and over. One touch and he would forever be trapped in his own personal hell. By the Gods, no... Anything but that.

It was his words that dragged him out of his train of thought. Harsh words that hit him harder than anything else. He tried to look up to the other, but he didn't dare look at his eyes. His dark gaze slipped down to the ground as he pulled up his shoulders, putting one hand over the other as he started to fiddle with his fingers. Those tears that had been pushing earlier, had come back as quickly as they had faded away. He blinked rapidly, trying to keep his emotions in check for as much as he could. Those kind of words weren't unfamiliar to him. He had heard it so many times before. From people he once considered friends to a majority of the Rizal family. Each and every one of them never understood what kind of demons and ghosts he came face to face to on a daily basis. A nagging feeling crept up on him as he could feel the heavy weight of anxiety wrap around him. Weighing down on his lungs, his throat, his chest. He could barely breathe, as if he was choking. It felt as if he was- as if he was that little kid again. Piercing eyes staring down on him as questions bombarded him. Why couldn't he just man up? Why couldn't he just be like those other kids?

His breath was shaky as he took another step back, a shaky hand raising up as he covered his eyes a bit, his fingers gently pushing away some tears that had found its way up. "I- I'm... I am... sorry," he said softly, barely a whisper. His voice was shaky and even though he was convinced that he was forming words, he might as well not have. The sorcerer lowered his head a bit, swallowing down a clump that had formed in the back of his throat. Yet, as soon as he had done that, it had returned. A soft breath, a mumbling sound, another plead of apology, followed. But once again it was as understandable as the last one, if not less. Zuhayr moved his hand down a bit, the few tears that had fled his eyes had already been taken away from his face. And now, he could hold on a bit longer. Or... That's what he thought at least. The Rizal bit his lip slowly, taking another step back as he bowed his head a bit more. His hands were shaking, his knees felt weak. It felt as if the world could slip away from under his feet any moment now. Everything was spinning... He wanted to go home.

mummy don't know daddy's getting hot

What.. What just happened in front of him? The only thing he had done was asking the man in front of him what was wrong with him, maybe not in the best way, but still. But apparently it broke the man, as if noticed how tears welt up in his eyes. This .. this was not what he expected and Deimos was taking aback by this display of emotion. Not knowing what to do with all this, he did a step back. Häti was looking from his summoner, to the man on the verge of tears, also not knowing what to do. The wolf reacted on emotions, but only those of Deimos. Now the wolf was not sure what was going on. Deimos, in the meantime, looked the man up and down, straining his hearing to listen to what he had to say. Why? Why was he saying sorry? Nothing happened? Even more confused than before, he scratched the back of his neck. Did he have to get someone? Fauna, maybe? Or Chaska. Maybe his sister could help with this situation, she was much better in emotional situations than he ever was. But for now, he was here alone and it looked like Zuhayra need some kind of help. Uncertain about all this, he stepped forward to the man and, without knowing any better, placed a man on the mans shoulder. It was what his dad always did to him when he was having some emotional fits. So, it was the only way he knew could help. "Sorry," Deimos spoke softly. "Didn't knew you would start crying and all." Ah yes, because that was a good thing to say.

+ tag Zuhayra Rizal
+ notes Let's make it worse!

BY MITZI

❝ A masterpiece of tragedy, turning even stars into dust. ❞

And as much as he tried to hide away behind his hands, it didn't matter. The other was bound to see his fear and his tears. And the fact he did, made it even worse. He felt like he was some sort of attraction, some sort of freak, to stare at. And for some reason he could feel the dreadful thoughts nagging at his head. That little voice that told him that this man was laughing at him, seeing how weak he was and noting it down. Seeing him as nothing more than a crybaby who couldn't stand up for himself. And in more than one way it angered him. Yet, he was bound to shackles that limited him so much. Although mostly mentally, he could swear he could feel the weight of them on his chest, on his arms and on his legs. Dragging him down. Making his knees heavy and shaky and his hands so... fragile. It was funny how such a heavy build man like him could tremble like this. As if he was facing his worst nightmare. Well, he would be lying if this wasn't one of his worst fears. He hated this, he hated this place and he hated this man. He wanted to hide away, never to see the other again. It would be for the better... But that was wishful thinking.

Zuhayr gently placed his arms across his chest, holding himself together slowly as he looked at the ground. It was fine, he was fine. He just had to calm down. He hadn't even noted how fast his breathing had been getting. And just like how his mother had taught him so many times before. It was funny how someone who had experienced death a thousand times over, still couldn't distinguish between what could actually kill him and a panic attack. His own body being against himself... How funny really. And in so many ways it wasn't fair. Because it was just the chaos before it would finally hit. And once he had that vision, it all calmed down. And he hated it. because then he couldn't avoid the awful night that was bound to happen. His mind, his body, they were really traumatized by this cursed thing they called a blessing. He couldn't even properly function or talk with someone without having a breakdown. Perhaps it was too soon to leave home. Perhaps it was better if he returned to Xaila, leave the safety of Fauna to her skilled and non problematic guards. They wouldn't have cryfits about a little conversations. They knew what they were doing. Man he was so usel-

When the hand hit his shoulder he almost responded in an instant. His muscles arm shot upwards, hitting the other quite heavily and with a force that he could barely control. Zu had a hard time knowing the limits of his own strength. But here in the tension of anxiety and heavy emotions it made it all worse. And when the bare skin of his hand flung against the others arm, his eyes went milky white. The heavy feeling of magic pressing down on his brain as he blinked rapidly, swiftly looking over the vision he saw before him. Each and every time he got something else. A date, a place, sometimes even the whole scene. But what he saw here was by far the thing he saw the most. The future of ones body when that event would hit. His ghostly pupils widened as he looked over the ruffeled clothing, ripped and torn to pieces in places as it revealed bruises and wounds, all seemingly made by brute force. His breath became shaky as he finally looked upwards to his face. And if he wasn't used to seeing gruesome scenes, his stomach sure as hell would turn. Concern came on his face as he saw how something had caused the others face to... Well... Being rebuild. But it wasn't pretty. And for whoever had done such thing, they had used the crimson red of the other to finish up the look, potentially covering up even worse things below.

Zuhayr stepped away quickly. His eyes slowly turning back to their normal dark colour as he swallowed away the shock of the vision. He shook his head quickly, barely able to hear what Deimos was even saying. The beaten up image of Deimos faded away slowly as the man in front of him became his present self once more. And for a moment the Xailan man stared at him. Puzzeled in many ways. Yet, he knew all too well what was about to happen. And by the fact that the other hadn't changed in age and all, he knew it was something that would happen soon. "Don't..." he said softly as he shook his head. "Don't touch me," he was clearly shaken as he kept staring at him. His mind slowly putting the pieces together. Deimos was bound to get in a fight. He would get beat up to the point where he would lose his life. How and why... And with whom he would fight, he didn't yet know. The vision had only been so long. But he knew it was going to happen in a few days, if not weeks. Did this mean... A marriage with Fauna was never going to happen? Realization hit. If he were to believe what he had seen. There was no future he would share with her. And he felt... Relieved.... For the first time in his life. He didn't wish death upon anyone, but perhaps it was for the better if someone this violent wouldn't end up with her. She was delicate, like a flower. She needed gentle hands to care for her, not something like... This.

mummy don't know daddy's getting hot

Gods, you could say that of late everything around Deimos went wrong. Ever since he set food in Lythrania. But this, this might be the peak. The man that had towered over him, with an axe in hand, looking at him as if he would chop his head of if he did anything not kosher with Fauna, was crying in front of him. This was absolutely not what he was expecting and it made this meeting so much worse. He just wanted to turn around and walk away, but he couldn't. He couldn't just leave the man here, that would not just ruin his reputation but also his relationship with Fauna. No, he had to do something about this.
Sadly, Deimos had this gift of making everything ten times worse and thus when he placed a hand on the man's shoulder he got pushed away with a force that he should have expected from the taller man, yet didn't. His arm actually hurt and he was sure that this would leave a bruise. Yet, that wasn't important, because the moment he had touched the Rizal, his eyes became cloudy and Deimos set a step back. He had heard about the magic of the Rizal family, but had never seen it performed. It was something he still wanted to discuss with Fauna, as it had peaked his interest somehow. But this, this was weird and creepy. And the only thing he could do was wait. It wasn't for long, before color returned to the older mans eyes, but Deimos still was too shocked to say anything. Not knowing if he could asked about it, he just stood there.
Zuhayra stepped back, quickly shaking his head. Wondering what was wrong with him, Deimos wanted to step forward. But the soft words that the Rizal spoke, made him stop. He wasn't allowed to touch him, which he could understand by what had just happened. Deimos bit his lip, actually thinking about the words that he wanted to speak. Questions, so many questions. But the most prominent one slipped passed his lips. "What did you see?"

+ tag Zuhayra Rizal
+ notes Let's make it worse!

BY MITZI

❝ A masterpiece of tragedy, turning even stars into dust. ❞

He really would die that soon hm? Why... That was such a convenient thing for him. It just felt... Too convenient. And too good to be true. And his morality. Oh dear good that fragile morality, it shook at the thought of being happy at ones demise. He normally wasn't the kind of person to wish the worst on people, to wish that they would simply die. Because Zu was a humble man, one that hated seeing other in trouble or pain. And yet, some kind of feelings that always seemed to linger thanks to the thought of Fauna, seemed to subdue at that mere thought. Perhaps he was... Really jealous of him... Was he really? He clenched his jaw slowly at the thought, not wanting to give in to the idea of jealousy. Yet, everything pointed towards it. He may be a little simple minded, but he was no fool. And because he knew, it was also a sign that he couldn't. He already knew that his destiny would be somewhere else. His parents were already rapidly going from option to option for him. One of these days he would have to leave her behind so that he could fulfil whatever fate his family had planned out for him. And how he wished it was with her, he knew it never would. And that was for the better. But even so, he wouldn't just let her go with the first guy that showed up. Just cause. He had to be enough, he had to be perfect. He had to treat her as the princess she was... Or else- Or... Else...

He blinked slowly when he saw the other bite his lip and Zuhayr instantly knew that the man had seen the shift in eye colour. He narrowed his dark gaze a bit as he observed the other. It was peculiar how his anxiety seemed to have faded as soon as the damage was done. It was as his body knew that there was no way back now. He had seen the vision, meaning he would experience this death over and over tonight. The trauma he had lived a thousand times would haunt him once more in this new package that Deimos had presented him. He should be angry, sad, frightened for the night that awaited him. But he had already lived through all of those emotions a hundred times over and over. And every time when he did, it didn't change the result. The future had been laid before him and now, there was no way back. He was used to it by now. He had tried to avoid it, desperately so, but once again no-one had listened to him... Seen the signals. They always just pushed on, pressed on with touching him and all that. By the gods people, personal space really wasn't that hard.

The Vylasar spoke and for a moment the diviner looked him straight in the eyes. His demeanour had shifted after the vision, as he no longer seemed to shiver in pure fear. He looked defeated, tired even, but he had his shoulders low and his head relatively high. He stood much taller than him now. And as he let out a sigh when those familiar words reached his ears, he slowly looked away. He didn't like to share his visions with people, as they never contained any good news. He was the messenger of death himself, after all. The invitation card that would announce his arrival. "You," he said softly, bitterly so. "You're a violent man," he murmured softly as he looked back at the other. There was clear disapproval in his voice as he spoke. The sorcerer kept his focus on him for a moment as he awaited any sort of reaction of him. And for a moment he weighed his options once more. He had never been able to change destiny once he saw a vision. people had tried to avoid death, and they had failed. He had tried to help them, and he had failed as well. Whenever those eyes turned white he knew that what he would see was final. Yet, even with that thought, he couldn't get those words over his lips. Perhaps he still was somewhat frightened from it all... Even after all those years.