Austen's little boy

Empire

She stood in front of his door, with a wicked smile on her face. It was agreed that she should meet him, even if he wasn't exactly better yet. The accident that had overcome the boy was something that should have aroused sympathy in Catherine, and yet all she could do was laugh about it. So much for being captain of the guards, he couldn't even keep himself safe. Catherine wondered if his mother had given him that role, as some honorary title. To not make him see so weak. But that veil was quickly uncovered, and the truth revealed. It was all just kinda funny to her. So she chuckled quietly to herself, for a few moments. Getting all of it out before she would face him. When she seemed ready, to put on one of her masks. One that allowed her to give off the impression that she cared about him. She knocked on the door, in a gentle manner. He knew she was coming, and yet she gave him a few more moments to get himself ready before she made her way into the room. Her bright blue eyes glanced around a bit; she took quick notes of her surroundings before she finally placed all her attention on Myrrdin. A kind smile appeared on her lips as she stepped forward. Though, despite that. She was still a respectable distance away from him. Catherine briefly thought about how this might be for him; to meet her again like this. Knowing that she was to be his wife someday. But she quickly dismissed those thoughts. Since they weren't really important. "Myrrdin," She began. "How good to see you again." The woman went on, her voice steady and clear. Like a tiny stream. Cutting it's way through the forest floor. "Though I wish it had been under better circumstances." Catherine gestured to the man with her hand. As she once again drew nearer. Slowly closing in on him. Yet she still remained just out of reach."How are you feeling?" The woman then asked, concern cleary present in her tone.

❝ But despite it all, I was powerless ❞

He was now completely alone, like he had been before. With just Finn by his side, he had never felt so... truly empty before. The news had reached him rather slowly, but he should have known when the man didn't return after hours... His presence being replaced by some of his own top guards, one who stood guard in front of the door and another who remained in the room at all times so that he could ask for help whenever he needed. Yet, he hadn't asked for anything ever since his mother had come. He had been left in this room, his prison. Put behind the finest security as if he was some sort of possession. And in many ways, he was. Belonging to his family, there was little he could do in his situation. Who did he even have left right now? Shyam had been locked up... And he didn't want to think about what had happened to Ezekiel. It made him terrified whenever his mind would wander in that direction. He was worried about them, but mostly about Shy. He honestly didn't know what his fate would be at this point. He had never really thought of what could happen to him if he failed at his job... Man, he really had been an idiot. He had doomed everyone in his life to such horrible futures... And that all because he had become a little bit more confident. Thinking he could handle himself. Thinking he could... Make a change. Stupid, delusional ideas.

He missed him by his bed. Even though they weren't on great terms right now... He longed for him. Just to capture a glance of his face. Even if it was just that angry glare. He didn't care. He wanted to see him. Even if it was just a glimpse. He missed his voice, the slight tones of teasing whenever he would speak to him. The gentle ways he would carry his words to him. He missed his slightly sweet scent that he had gotten to recognize after their little adventure. And he missed his touch, his gentle, yet strong hands. All their memories seemed so far out of reach now. As if they had happened in another lifetime. Perhaps in a time where they could have been together like that forever. A small house near the ocean... Maybe they could sell fish... Or he could do something with his art. Just normal people, living everyday lives. But that ordinary existence seemed so much more promising then whatever destiny he was meant to fulfil. Never before had he wanted to live a fantasy as much as now. He was tired. He was so damn tired of all of this.

Yet, he couldn't run, nor could he turn his back on his name. As much as he wanted to, it was impossible. It would mean he would become everything they told him he was; a weakling, good for nothing coward. A part of him really wanted to let his head hang and let those terms define him, but... After everything that had happened in the last 24 hours.... He had never been so ready to prove everyone wrong. It frustrated him, because it was a decision he had pushed himself into. If he hadn't turned his head towards the other, he would have never fallen for him. And if he had never been so loose around him, the other wouldn't have become... They wouldn't have... Now look what he had done now. Ruining his life like that. Shyam must hate him right about now... And he honestly wouldn't even blame him. He deserved it, every part of his wrath and disappointment. He wanted to taste it, feel it, see it. Because at least he would have him near him and they could work it out. But now he was only met by silence, one forced upon them by the distance and circumstances of their own issues. His mind had already wandered back to him again... By Lythrana, this was going to be the end of him.

A knock on the door caused him to lift his gaze. He had been staring out in front of himself, lost in thought as he felt so void... Of everything that would usually wash over him in powerful waves. It didn't take long before she appeared. The woman that his mother had picked out for him. They had met before, during a somewhat unofficial meeting. She had been nice then, there was nothing wrong with her... But when he looked over her, all he could do was clench his jaw. It wasn't there. That little spark he had felt when he had seen Shy for the first time. And when she spoke, he couldn't hear it. That slight tone that pushed him to try and hear more. She wasn't him... And it made him... Sad. As if he was mourning a loss that hadn't yet happened. She would be the person he would share his life with. Build a family with. Rule Lythrania with. Those future plans felt like empty tasks in his mind, as a checklist. Each and every one following up on the next one. Now love would be added to the chore list as well.

Because it was his duty, they had done their best to make him look at least more presentable then he had been the day before. He had been devastated, in so much pain and panic that he didn't seem like himself. And with no caring man beside him, there was nothing that could gently lull him back to his senses. Potions had done that... Perhaps that was also the reason why it felt like everything was so far, as if he wasn't even in control of his own body. And perhaps he wasn't. He had been on autopilot ever since his mother had entered the room. It just hadn't turned off yet. He nodded at her when she noted it was good to see him again. Yes. But he had wished it not to be like this. And where she might have thought about his condition, he had wished for it not to be in the promise of husband and wife. But who was he to get what he wanted? He was a mere product to be used in the name of the Vylasar line. A little puppet that had to do its little dance. He was tired and yet, for some reason, his hands started to move.

He grabbed his notebook, pulling it in closer as he started to write. 'It's good to see you too, lady Catherine. You look as stunning as ever,' He wrote down. 'I am doing well, thank you, but you have to excuse me for the state that I'm in right now. I truly wished we could have met again in a more pleasant way,' He turned the book to her, showing her a gentle smile as he nodded. He waited for a bit, before deciding to put the thing back down. 'How are you doing? I hope you didn't have too much trouble with your trip here? How are you enjoying Lythrania so far?' He held the book up once more, keeping up that gentle smile as he looked at her. His grey eyes just trying to focus on something. His gaze could give it all away. Perhaps it was the drugs, or maybe it had been the fact that he was just so emotionally drained. Or perhaps it was even the dread of it all. But they were so void of it all. He was tired.

Empire

The woman had spotted the guards, of course she had. They were hard to miss. Standing sentry in front of the door, and also apparently in Myrrdin's room itself. It didn't feel like they were here, merely to protect and assist their wounded lord. But more as if they were guarding a prisoner, and perhaps they were in a sense. Either way, Catherine ignored them. Choosing to focus all her attention on the blond man. She didn't even spare his little dog a second glance. She hated those creatures. Cats, were, in her opinion, the superior pets. But she supposed having such an animal as company was better than nothing at all. Though, it didn't do much to combat the loneliness that the broken man seemed to feel. He radiated it, well, not only that. Also, sadness and- a certain tiredness. One that would suggest that despite the opportunity to rest he was afforded, he didn't actually get much of it. Perhaps he couldn't perhaps some things weighed too heavy on his mind for him to get the proper rest he needed. That didn't mean that he didn't try, though, since anyone could see he was at least somewhat drugged up. With pain medication, surely, but also other aphrodisiacs- ones that would aid in sleep and perhaps even numb his mind. Catherine looked him over carefully, there were still traces of the handsome man she had met back in Moonbright. Though something in him also seemed permanently changed, it didn't seem to her that the attack he had endured had left a great impact not only on his body. But also his very soul. When he grabbed a notebook from off his nightstand. Catherine suddenly wished that he had his bird with him, for as strange as that was. She rather had that than read whatever he would write down. Still, Catherine hid her annoyance behind a gentle smile. As she patiently waited for him to finish. Hey eyes quickly scanned over the words on the page when he showed it to her. "There's no need to apologize," Perhaps there was, Catherine had no idea how he even got in the state he was in now. No one really told her actually what had happened. But then again, she didn't rally expect them too. Exactly explaining how her future husband got beaten down the way he did wasn't exactly a good look. "I'm just glad you're alive." Catherine's smile grew a little wider when she once again started to write in that little book of his. He did surprise her with his attitude, he was being so calm and civil. Especially considering what had happened to him, and what was still to be expected of him. Of the both of them. Though she supposed the drugs helped a hand in his behavior too. When Catherine finished reading his latest bit, she nodded. " I am very well, thank you for inquiring," she said as the readied to answer his many questions. "We did encounter a storm while traveling back-which did delay things a bit. But as you see, we both made it safe and sound." She, and his mother. With whom she had traveled back. "Lythrania, is such a wonderful place, though it does scare me a bit." A playful twinkle appeared in her eyes as she leaned forward, as if she was about to tell him some sort of secret. "I just can't seem to shake off this irrational fear that at any moment the magical barrier which protects the city will fail somehow." It sounded silly, because everyone knew that such a thing was impossible. And yet it wasn't a total lie, because somewhere-deep down. She did fear it. "But, I am sure, the longer I stay here, the more that will fade away."

❝ But despite it all, I was powerless ❞

There was nothing wrong with her or the situation. Absolutely nothing. She had done nothing and he knew that much. And he would never blame it on her. They had both been forced into this, or that's what he assumed. He hadn't gotten the idea that she particularly liked him back in Moonbright. At least not to the extend that she would go out of her way to arrange plans with his mother. His guess was that Aurelia had approached her family, asking for her hand with the promise of wealth, a bright future and even more. Despite the fact that Catherine already had it pretty well with her position within the council, he doubted that anyone would pass on the request to marry an heir of a city. The fact that this lady already seemed to have her life together, was perhaps also the reason why she had been picked out. She had backbone, at least more than he had. Or that's what he assumed of her anyway. She had one of the most respected positions within the nation. This also meant that what she did, was of high importance. It made him feel somewhat intimidated to think about. But he knew that he had his own things to bring to the table. Not coming from him as a person, but simply because he had been born a son of the head of the family and governess of this city. One thing did cross his mind however; she wasn't a sorceress. Which wasn't really a huge problem for him... But it had caught him off guard a bit. It would seem his mother didn't prioritize the magic in his children all that much, rather his success in the long run? He honestly couldn't tell.

She was kind with her words, which did help him somewhat. She stated that there was no need to apologize, something he humbly bowed his head for to her as a thank you. As he lifted his gaze again to meet hers, he kept that gentle smile along his lips. It was her next words that he didn't anticipate. He nodded slowly as she said it, looking at his book as to avoid her gaze. He shared that with her, that statement. He had been lucky and happy to still be breathing. Although... Now he wasn't too sure about that anymore. He had been longing to see him every time when he woke up. Even when it all seemed to slip away, he had been on his mind, hoping to see him run through that door to catch a final glimpse of him. But now... He wasn't sure about everything anymore. Like he was somewhere in a void, in between places just existing. With no real grip on what would happen next. Everything unpredictable had shattered his trust. There was nothing to look forward to, to get excited about anymore. There was just his duty.

She was well and thanked him. He just smiled, as a perfectly made doll he just sat there. Normally he would doubt himself, get over his lines over and over to try and make them better. But he didn't care anymore. He just did what had been told to him. Smile and be polite. They had encountered a storm, that wasn't good. It had delayed them? That was a good thing. Some extra time that had been lost at sea, but he had used here. But then she started to speak about the city, it would seem she liked it and her expression shifted. He tilted his head a bit as he started to take note of her interest in the subject. Because, even though his life was miserable, he was going to do his best to make hers at least a pleasant one. She didn't need to suffer under all of this. So he would look at the things she seemed interested in and try to work his way more and more towards what could be considered... Pleasant... Or something. She noted the magic that protected the city and he nodded at her. he could understand that. She hadn't been born and raised here, like he had. He had spent the majority of his life under the ocean. SO he never really thought about the magic anymore. It had been there for generations and it would remain for many more to come.

She finished up by stating that it would fade, something he nodded to once more. His eyes going back to his book, he started to write once more. 'Once I'm back on my feet I'll show you something special,' he wrote down. 'I can understand your worry, if there's anything I can do to help you feel a bit better then please inform me,' It felt like he was treating her more as a guest to the house then his future spouse. Yet, it didn't cross his mind when he wrote it down. All he thought, was to ask her what he could do and that's all he really... Could do right? Well, women could be weird so he wasn't sure. 'My apologies for asking; but how do you wish to combine everything with your position in the council?' That had been on his mind as well. 'I am more then willing to adjust myself to your work, wishes and lifestyle,' submit to your duty. Your future. You had to. He had to.

Empire

When she spoke to him, he listened - with a smile on his face. He nodded occasionally. But other than that; there weren't any changes in his demeanor. He was almost like a puppet, behaving more like how the people around him wanted. Then he himself did. But that wasn't a bad thing; at least for Catherine, at wasn't. In fact, she saw it as a very positive thing; something she could definitely work with. Drugged up or not, he seemed to be obedient by nature. But then again, that was something that was drilled into him from a young age. By his mother, no doubt. That woman had a very dominant personality. Catherine could tell that much already. Catherine finished her bit, by saying that any anxiety she felt about being so deep below the surface would surely fade with time. A statement with Myrddin seemingly agreed with. As he nodded. His eyes shifted back to his little book, and she started writing again. Catherine narrowed her eyes, every so slightly, when he showed her the words he had written down for her. He made her a promise. Once he was better, able to make use of his legs again. He would show her something "special" The prospect of which intrigued her. And so she nodded quickly, with a curious sparkle in her light blue eyes. Myddin still had more to say to her, however. As he once again started writing. When the blond man turned his book back to her. Catherine read the following. 'I can understand your worry, if there's anything I can do to help you feel a bit better then please inform me,' An amused hum escaped her lips. How gallant of him. Offering his serviced up to her like this. She wondered if she really could ask anything from him. But decided not to test it out. Not yet anyway. "No, please" She said softly, as she lowered her head a little. "I am the one who should say that to you." Her eyes softened ever so slightly. "This whole arrangement can't be easy for you, especially not with your injury." The timing was a little unfortunate, or well, perhaps it wasn't. Perhaps it came at exactly the right time. It was hard to say, even for her. The boy then inquired about her position in the council, and how she was going to combine that with - well, what she was doing here. "I honestly, hadn't really thought about that yet." She was honest when she said that, at least. "But I am sure we'll figure something out." Especially since he claimed to be more than willing to adjust to her. That was nice to hear. It really was, but perhaps he said those things more of duty rather than a genuine effort to appease her. Or maybe he simply wanted to move back with her, because then he had a good excuse to leave this place. It wouldn't supprise her if that was the case.

❝ But despite it all, I was powerless ❞

Yes, there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. Any man would have been happy to have been promised her hand, to know that a woman like her would be by their side till the end of time. A woman with power, a woman who had looks and also someone who was so polite and kind. She wasn't just some lost, useless soul with a pretty face. She had it all. And she would make a fine wife. And the one who was the problem here, was him. For he didn't feel anything for her. Not even the slightest attraction or adoration for her body or physique. And he felt guilty for it, because he knew she was one of the finest people Lemuria could offer. But it just wasn't for him. He had already lost his heart to another. And it felt wrong to think about anyone else in such sense. Even if they weren't anything official, even if their love wasn't seen as a real one in this world. Even when they could never tell anyone else. Even... If it was his duty. Or maybe that was the only part where he would bend and let his head hang low. To keep the peace and get it over with. There was no emotions involved whatsoever anyway... So what did it matter.

And so, for duty and for her sake, he remained polite. He would be a gentleman to her, treat her kindly and do his best to not make her life as painful as his own. Because, despite the fact that he had no feelings for this person, he still wouldn't wish this upon anyone. Not even his worst enemy. If he could be useful to her in this way, then he would do it. No complaining or resistance whatsoever, yet. Perhaps once drugs and tiredness had wore off, his mind would change on that matter. He had never been one to hold onto things for long anyway. Myrddin was a man of extremes after all, all or nothing, no in between. She read the things he had written down and he waited patiently for the blonde woman to reply to them. To his surprise she responded in such a kind manner once more. A soft smile curling on his lips when she told him that this couldn't be easy on his, especially with his injury. He averted his eyes from her as the corners of his mouth remained in that upwards motion. This wasn't easy, that was true. But it would never be easy. And in many ways it was better to rip the band aid off sooner then later. There would never be a good timing for news and promises like this. But it would be just his luck that it all collided in one timeframe. Life was just cruel like that.

When he asked her about her job, he was also surprised that she hadn't really thought out a plan yet. But the heir nodded slowly at her as he looked back at her. Yes, they would figure something out. Both of them had pretty important jobs, but hers was the most important for now. As captain of the guard he rarely had a time limit or any crucial jobs to attend to. Many people stood by his side to help him with that. All he had to do was look pretty and attend the ceremonies. Look strong, be regal... Well, he couldn't really fill that job for as long as he was bound to this bed. The sorcerer looked back at the book, his pencil slowly moving back over the paper. 'You are too kind, lady Catherine,' He wrote down. 'You do not need to worry about me or my injury. All it will take is time and magic to heal,' And then he would seem fine again, as the people around him wanted him to be. The picture perfect golden boy Lythrania had always seen. 'But enough about me,' Laying himself open and nude for her to read and slowly pick apart wasn't something he wanted to do, yet. 'I hope this arrangement didn't cause any issues for you...?' He paused as he thought about his wording for a second.... And quickly added on to his last words. 'I guess it would be more proper for me to ask; How are you doing with everything going on?' He turned the book back at her, his gaze trailing from the paper, back to her and... To the floor. Soon he would have to arrange pearls for her. A gift that didn't truly belong to her, but would... In the name of duty.